unwanted sexual thoughts, help me!

[minimaxwell]

I stumbled on this post and first would like to say that I am sorry all of you are suffering. My daughter did a program at OCDI. While these were not her issues there were many there who had these thoughts. our insurance covered her stay for 7 weeks.

http://www.mclean.harvard.edu/patient/adult/ocd.php

[Guest beautiful eyes hide lies]

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH THESE SICK THOUGHTS, I BELIEVED I WAS GAY BUT NEVER FANCIED MEN. I EVEN WENT TO MY GP AT THE TIME AND ASKED HIM, WAS I GAY EVEN IF I WASNT ATTRACTED TO MEN. HE TOLD ME NOT TO BE SILLY AND THAT PEOPLE GET THESE THOUGHTS. BUT I DIDNT BELIEVE HIM. SO AFTER A FEW MONTHS I TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE , WITH NOT MUCH SUCESS . BUT IT GOT ME TO A HOSPITAL AND I GOT MENTAL CARE. IT DID HELP ME ALOT AT THE TIME. BUT 20 YRS AGO OCD WAS NOT WELL KNOWN. TODAY I STILL HAVE NEGATIVE THOUGHT ON LOTS OF THINGS BUT AM BEING TREATED AS A PERSON WITH OCD . WHICH IS GOING OK. MY ADVICE TO ANYONE OUT THERE WITH THESE SICK THOUGHTS, IS GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR GP AND DEMAND THAT YOU WANT TO BE REFERRED TO MENTAL HEALTH. BELIEVE ME WHEN YOU START TALKING TO A TRAINED PERSON IN MENTAL HEALTH, YOU WILL START FEELING BETTER. BUT BE TOTALLY HONEST. GOOD LUCK TO ANYONE IN TORMENT.

[tpotter]

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH THESE SICK THOUGHTS, I BELIEVED I WAS GAY BUT NEVER FANCIED MEN. I EVEN WENT TO MY GP AT THE TIME AND ASKED HIM, WAS I GAY EVEN IF I WASNT ATTRACTED TO MEN. HE TOLD ME NOT TO BE SILLY AND THAT PEOPLE GET THESE THOUGHTS. BUT I DIDNT BELIEVE HIM. SO AFTER A FEW MONTHS I TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE , WITH NOT MUCH SUCESS . BUT IT GOT ME TO A HOSPITAL AND I GOT MENTAL CARE. IT DID HELP ME ALOT AT THE TIME. BUT 20 YRS AGO OCD WAS NOT WELL KNOWN. TODAY I STILL HAVE NEGATIVE THOUGHT ON LOTS OF THINGS BUT AM BEING TREATED AS A PERSON WITH OCD . WHICH IS GOING OK. MY ADVICE TO ANYONE OUT THERE WITH THESE SICK THOUGHTS, IS GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR GP AND DEMAND THAT YOU WANT TO BE REFERRED TO MENTAL HEALTH. BELIEVE ME WHEN YOU START TALKING TO A TRAINED PERSON IN MENTAL HEALTH, YOU WILL START FEELING BETTER. BUT BE TOTALLY HONEST. GOOD LUCK TO ANYONE IN TORMENT.

 

 

also, OCD can be caused by infection. Read the Lyme and PANDAS forums. We now know that infections, such as lyme and co-infections, strep, and others can cause inflammation in the basal ganglia, and that can cause OCD. I would suggest you read over both forums, and see if you can get to one of the specialists. Several courses of abx and certain supplements may take care of the problem!

[OCDSurvivor]

Hi everyone,

I can sympathize and relate to people in this conversation thread. I'm a 48 year old man with OCD. I have several of the OCD symptoms but the one that has been the most troubling by far are the intrusive/unwanted thoughts. I've had them for decades now. They have and still are driving me crazy. My thoughts have changed over the years though. For the last 11 years (roughly) my intrusive/unwanted thoughts are primarily sexual. I have managed to either divert the thoughts by altering them enough and letting them through or suppressing them all together. I'm constantly doing this all day and even at night in my sleep. It's exhausting! Sometimes in my sleep they slip through and I wake up emotionally wrecked and devastated. I have heard people say it's just a dream let it go. No it's not just a dream when it grabs you emotionally and physically to the point you cry over it.

 

I'm a heterosexual and I've have had some bad dreams in my life but the one I had the other night was the worse. It was a homosexual dream that came out of no where and has got me thinking suicide again. If I had a nickel for every time I thought about suicide I could have retired by now. The nightmare of nightmares has absolutely wrecked me emotionally and has crippled me to the point I can barely function. It's brought tears to my eyes on several occasions and I truly feel like a broken man right now. The only good thing about it is that it happened when it did. It wasn't the night before or after a special occasion or in the middle of a vacation. I've had entire vacations, holidays and special occasions ruined by these intrusive unwanted sexual thoughts and dreams.

 

I've tried several of the medications for OCD over the years and none of them did anything for intrusive/unwanted thoughts. Some were good for depression though. I have been to several specialist (psychiatrists psychologist etc.). I have identified my OCD symptoms. I have a good idea what has made me anxious and I'm aware of them. I have dyslexia and that has created a lot of anxiety ever since I was a child. Back in the 80's (mostly) I had panic attacks or anxiety attacks or whatever you want to call them. I thought I was having a heart attack kind of feeling. This went on daily throughout the day for weeks and months on end. I don't know how I survived it was so bad.

 

I realized way back in time I bit off more goals then my dysfunctional mind could handle. That created lots of anxiety. I decided not to add any more goals and reach the ones I have already set. After that I will only take bite sized goals at a time. I will try to live more in the present instead of being so future minded. It's been hard to live in the present when I've been unhappy with myself. Living for the future gave me hope and helped keep me going. I've gotten to the point that I'm going to have to change my mind set or I'll be chasing my tail the rest of my life. I'm also on the lookout for pitfalls to avoid.

 

My first wave of unwanted/intrusive thoughts was questioning accomplishments. This started back in the early 80's. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I scored the touchdown or whatever it was that I questioned my mind would ruin the satisfaction of the achievement. This kind of thinking spread to questioning anything good I did small or large. I would try to convince myself by going over everything to eliminate the doubt. It might do it for a second but the doubt would creep back in. After years of suffering I did something different and stopped trying to convince myself. I would put the thought aside and let my mind simmer down. Before I knew it I wasn't having those kinds of intrusive/unwanted thoughts anymore. I recognized a pitfall to avoid and now I avoid it and don't get caught in a vicious circle that I could never win. Also during that time period what helped is that I finally graduated from college which eliminated a lot of anxiety. As time went on I kind of realized that "hay I don't have the questioning of accomplishment like I used to". I still get it a little here and there but don't try to convince myself for any length of time. I try not to think about it and that's the end of that.

 

For the last 11 years or so my intrusive/unwanted thoughts are mostly sexual. I've managed to do some tricks like "Veering" I call it. I would take the bad thought that I knew was coming and alter it a little. I go with the momentum and let it through. The thought was changed just enough so that it didn't bother me. I also have some phrases I say to both distract and give me comfort some how. One thing I've done over the years is keep a file to organize my thoughts and gather information about my problems. Organizing your thoughts and knowledge can be VERY helpful. The Internet is very helpful. I didn't have this luxury years ago. I was in the dark about a lot of things for years!

 

I'm trying to reduce my anxiety because I suspect it's at least if not entirely responsible for pushing out my unwanted/intrusive thoughts. Considering how bad this last dream was I'm going back to my psychiatrist even if it's just to organize my thoughts, update and get it off my chess. That's my game plan.

 

I hope I can shed some light for someone in here. Don't forget your not alone. OCD is painful and unwanted dreams of sexual nature are painful. We should be able to manage them better if we exchange ideas. Let's face it, the mental health industry is still pretty much in it's infancy and it's not and exact science like math and physics for example. The human mind is very complex and all I ever hear is this theory or that theory. One of the things we should all be doing is exchanging experiences. Maybe there are correlations that can be detected and recognized as the heart of certain problems. Who knows maybe in the future they will actually find a cure instead of the manage it best you can approach (medication and or therapy).

 

Todd

[hopeforthefuture]

Hello Everyone!

 

Just wanted to share that I have struggled with this myself for several years, but wasnt quite sure what it was. I knew I had anxiety which can cause inappropriate thoughts, but have been struggling more recently...and just feeling disgusted and like I was an awful awful person. I just broke down to my counselor tonight and told her everything, and she was so calm and reassuring that there was nothing abnormal about me and that I would never act on any of these disturbing thoughts. I have heard that one indicator to reassure yourself is that you are so upset by these thoughts. Someone who really wanted to to do these things wouldn't feel completely devastated by them.

 

I stumbled across this forum this weekend as I was desperately trying to find an answer to my thoughts and feelings. In doing my research this weekend I found some great resources that I couldnt help but share, as they were a piece of the puzzle for me and helped me to feel much better.

 

One great book I discovered and read was called "The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts"

This book definitely touches on all types of obsessive disturbing thoughts and explains how they are normal for almost everyone.

 

Also, I found this other article, written by a Phd, linked from another forum that has great information on this same topic, and even covers physiological side effects

http://www.raminader...%20Thoughts.pdf

 

 

No one should have to suffer with these kind of thoughts alone. I couldnt help but share all these resources with you as they brought me such great peace, in addition to seeing a counselor and her reassuring me that I was ok.

 

Hang in there and peace to all

[warrior_mom]

Neurofeedback therapy (specifically a program called Brain Paint) has helped my son tremendously. As well, he's on Luvox, with a small small dose of Risperdal. He has the identical invasive thoughts that most in this thread have discussed. All the same bizarre thoughts of being gay (when he's very attracted to women, to say the least), thoughts that he's killed us (his parents) - via stabbing, thoughts that he's run someone or some thing over on the road, etc etc. Pure OCD, sadly. But he's very managed at this point -- the thoughts and disruptions to his brain have gotten much relief from the combo of meds (which he's lowered himself just a bit), and the neurofeedback therapy. If you'd like more info on the NF - and you're in the NorCal area - I would be glad to give you info on our therapist who provides this therapy. She's amazing.

[warrior_mom]

Todd -- your message really got to me. To think that my son has also thought that the fear of harming us was so alarming he thought he should take his life to keep us safe has been earth shattering. I do understand your distress at the invasive, unwanted thoughts. While my son still has breakthrough thoughts/images - he is doing pretty darn good. His psychiatrist has classified his OCD/Anxiety as a pretty serious case, too, so I think he's been very lucky to have found the right combo of meds & a therapist who has been diligently administering neurofeedback therapy. If you have a chance - look up Brain Paint - and read up on it. The creator has the very same ocd/anxiety disorder that my son (and you) has - and he cured himself by immersing himself in his own program until he got it right, and his symptoms diminished. It may not work for you - or do as much - but it is so worth a shot, and is certainly better than doing nothing or finding a way to be at peace with "what is". Please keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep fighting this. People have found relief - yours is out there somewhere, too.

[seachel]

I have been suffering from strange paranoid thoughts that every man I am surrounded by is attracted to me in some way, when i know in reality hats not the case. it happens when im in a social situation, like a store or resturaunt. My eyes become shifty and i get super focused on my appearance at the moment, like how my body is positioned, how my facial expression is. I take every glance or smile from a stranger as some sort of sexual advance towards me. i am obsessed with reading peoples body language, and its destroying my social life. I hate these thoughts. I sometimes believe my own father wants to have sex with me, and its made me want to avoid being around him at all times, which is hard because i live with him and my mom. im 21 years old, female, ive never been diagnosed with OCD mainley because i dont have insurance and cannot afford to see a professional about this, but after reading these posts, it sounds like i have something of the sort. Im not even sure if this is OCD, what ive been reading people say that they have unwanted urges towards others, where in my case i fear urges towards me. its made me become quite stand offish towards men who actually are interested in me, paticularly because i see them as a threat. I once d a long loving relationship, but it ended on mutual terms. i had lots of friends, my self esteem was good and i was flirty at times. Now I no longer have any sort of sex drive, the idea of sex angers me for some reason. I guess im ashamed of these feelings. My anxiety caused me to lose my job at a local pet store. i was unable to socialize with my male co workers for fear they wanted me, it made me act very strange and distant, and reluctant to communicate with them so i was fired. i have never been sexually abused or raped. I have a strong hatred towards other women, i simply see them as catty and unfriendly. The few men who i do trust as friends i still get unwanted thoughts about, thinking they are attracted to me. This is something that wont stop no matter how hard i try. Ive lost many friends from isolating myself in my room, and whats worse is im starting to fear sexual thoughts towards animals, which completely disgusts me. i cannot be around male dogs because i start thinking these deviant ideas that wont go away. I dont know what to do, i feel like a freak. An outcast whos not on the same wavelength as normal people. i desperately need help.

[Shaggy11]

After reading what people have posted on this topic, I think I have came to the conclusion that I have OCD as well. I havent necessarily been strungling with unwanted sexual thoughts all my life but for sure unwanted thoughts. They just don't go away for a really long time and I feel like once i get rid of one unwanted thought that makes me anxious/miserable, it gets replaced with another one.

 

The first time I started experiencing unwanted sexual thoughts I would have to say was during adolescence. From then to now I have been paranoid of being homosexual and it has really killed my confidence.

 

However, I think my unwanted sexual thoughts have gotten much worst for the past year. I am extremely paranoid of liking animals, children and family in a sexual way. It has gotten to the point that I am so paranoid of lusting that I feel like I am lusting. I don't know what to do about this...I feel like a terrible person and I don't think I will ever be happy because I feel like I wont be able to ever date or marry anyone because of this.

[Shaggy11]

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

 

Hi, I know this is very late (10 yrs later) but I pretty much was the same age when this problem started happening to me. I am 20 years old now and ever since shortly after I turned 19 I feel like I can't be around kids , animals, family, etc without being paranoid of lusting. I feel like I am so paranoid of lusting that I feel like I am lusting but deep down I know it is discusting and I would never want to act on those thoughts.

 

Was your situation by chance handled? Is it possible to ever date/marry and have kids after experiencing these thoughts?

 

I feel like my life is falling apart and is worthless because of this.

[Wombat140]

Hi Shaggy11, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry for the late reply, this section of the forum is often a bit quiet.

 

Obviously I'm not a doctor, but I know many people with this and other kinds of OCD (formally diagnosed with OCD) and what you describe does sound exactly like OCD to me.

 

If I were you, I'd go to a doctor and explain what you think is going on, and ask to be referred to a psychologist/psychiatrist for a proper assessment/diagnosis and for cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). (At least, here in the UK you'd start by going to your family doctor and ask to be referred to a specialist; the arrangements may be different in the USA, you'd know better than I would.)

 

Make sure it is CBT and not some other kind of "talking therapy"; those can sometimes help but the evidence is that CBT generally works much more often and more effectively than any other. You may see "ERP" (exposure and response prevention) mentioned on here as a treatment for OCD; that's part of CBT where it's applicable, CBT includes other things as well which seem to make it more successful than ERP alone. Try and find somebody who has training and/or experience in using it for OCD; knowing how to apply CBT for depression (the most common thing it's used for, over here) is not quite the same thing.

 

Some people do well on CBT alone, some people also need medication, at least for a time until they've had a chance to work on the CBT. If so SSRIs (Prozac and the rest of that category of medicines) are the first choice - they seem to work for OCD as well as for depression, for some odd reason. Either way, people often can get a lot better with the right treatment, so please ask your doctor about it!

 

 

I feel like I am so paranoid of lusting that I feel like I am lusting but deep down I know it is discusting and I would never want to act on those thoughts.

Sounds as if you've got a pretty good idea of how this stupid condition works.

 

Good luck and I hope you soon feel better.

Wombat140

[Bronzeyes]

I have the same thing I've had this for 4 years it first started out as killing thoughts but then went to sexual thoughts and can barely be by my own family then I started getting feeling in my groin it won't stop I get feeling in my groin for everything now I can barely go on I've been seeing therapist and I've been taking medication but it's just not working