getting compliance!

[Calicat]

It's crazy how difficult this additive free diet can be.

 

Personally, I like it. I've always been quite "chemically sensitive" in that I can really taste artificial ingredients, and it puts me off. I CANNOT even eat one Smartie, because it tastes like a toxic-dump sugar bomb to me. (I also get headaches from small amounts of air freshener, cigarette smoke, strong perfumes, typical cleansers, etc.) To be fair, I can taste a lot of things really well... like I'll tell my mother what ingredients she put into a sauce just by tasting it. My family always comes to me with obscure food questions, or asks me to identify some unknown herb that's been languishing unlabled in the cupboard.

 

Anyway, most food chemicals have a very distinctive flavour to me. So, I've always had me and my 5 year old daughter eating fairly healthily. But now that I've taken the big step up to what I wish to be a completely additive free diet, it feels like I'm the only one who's really trying! I spoke with my daughter's school and explained things, and sure enough, this week she was given 2 freezies and a coloured icing cookie. Just because it isn't life threatening, they don't seem to care that much!

 

My daughter's father and I are not together, and haven't been since before she was born. I've told him to email me what she eats when she's over there, and he does, and he seems to want to help, but the two suppers she had there this week included orange jello, a fruit roll up, and all kinds of preservative-laden Kraft dressings and BBQ sauces and more. And my mother babysat her last night while I worked and left a bag of brightly coloured candy on the coffee table that my daughter of course couldn't resist while mom was talking on the phone.

 

Am I the only one who cares? I hate to be the bad guy, I really do!!!! Is it crazy to want complete compliance for a while so I can get a handle on where we're at and what the triggers are and sort of a baseline to work from??! She hasn't had a completely clean week yet. I haven't taken away sugar completely, just reduced it, so it's not like she's deprived. I went out and bought 100% juice freezies, natural gingersnaps, additive free gummies, Yummy Earth lollipops with no artificial ingredients, Glee gum with no art. ing., etc. She is definitely having treats!

 

Please, everyone who follows this or has followed this... Chemar, Jeff... how in the world do you get people to take you seriously and get them on board? How do you get your kids not to sneak stuff when the opportunity arises? Do you feel guilty that they don't partake in the crappy junk fests at school and get togethers and birthdays? Help me know if I'm doing the right thing!

 

Calicat

[Cum Passus]

Hi Calicat,

 

First I wanted to welcome all the newcomers, Bnichola, mblack, Owen'smom, and BeckyG. Sorry, I have been preoccupied with my son's dizzy spells. I truly hope and pray you all find answers quickly.

 

Calicat, I really feel for you. I had the same problem with my mom and my husband. My husband has TS and he thinks/thought because he turned out OK our son would be just fine. He hated the fact I would take sweets away from our son. I know I needed to hear our son would be just fine I just couldn't take the chance that he is a different person, and maybe he wouldn't outgrow TS as well as my husband did.

 

I think you will always be wondering (what if) and for your peace of mind I agree with you, get everyone on the same page. I hope that wont be too hard. Is there any articals about how bad art. food/color ect... is that you could share with those near and dear to your daughter?

 

Good luck,

C.P.

[faith]

Calicat,

You have beat me to the punch, I was thinking of asking for the same advice. My son is usually pretty compliant, but lately has been insisting on having certain things when it is around, and I have given in here and there, but it is starting to become an everyday thing (birthday cupcakes at school are a real thorn in my side!) I really believe keeping these things to a bare minimum is beneficial for his tics, for when there is too much, I can see something wanting to start. Luckily, he does not have immediate reaction, I think for him it is just when there is too much. (we have to keep corn and yeast out mostly, and that is a tough one).

 

In the beginning, after we saw the DAN doctor and he put us on the elimination diet, I just explained how we had to do this for a little while for his health because his blood test results said we had to. I found alternatives and he was not totally happy, but he was pretty good about it.

 

I felt so bad when they cooked hot dogs at his last baseball game, (the bun (yeast) hot dog and ketchup (high fructos corn syrup are all off the list) but I had to let him have one, he was like "but mom, it looks so good", and he sucked it down like it was his last meal. But the more I say okay, just this, he keeps trying to push it and cheat. I can't keep letting it happen, and then I can get very irate when he doesn't listen to me on this. I know what he can and can't have, I just don't know how long I can keep him cooperating. It isn't getting easier.

 

So, I'm up for any advice or suggestions too!

 

Faith

[patty]

Calicat,

 

I understand the frustration of having a artifical & preserative-free diet. When I decided to eat an A & P-free diet last Sept., it was so hard. As you start to learn to read labels, just about everything in the conventional stores are filled with these things in them. Although it is a difficult process, it does get easier as you go along when you start to change your shopping pattern. Sounds like you are ready shopping at Whole Foods and that's a good place but expensive. Trader Joe's is another good option but i would be wary of some of their products from China and produces from Mexico. I prefer organic produce from USA or from our local farmer's market.

 

Anyways, i do find it hard to eliminate junk food from school. I pack my son a snack & lunch everyday. Since we don't eat anything artificial or preservatives. I allowed him to eat whatever he wishes at school functions. However, he is aware that these food is not too healthy, so he does not overeat. I do give him alot of credit for it. I do believe that kids should be allowed to be kids.

 

Patty

[Chemar]

yes, kids should be allowed to be kids.............but kids also do some mega irresponsible and dangerous things and we dont hesitate to step in and be a firm parent in order to protect them then!

 

when we started the no artificial route, thankfully my son so quickly saw the detrimental effects of a blue raspberry slurpy and so was quick to jump on board for his own healthcare! he was just 11 at the time, but is now so diligent about reading labels that he even sometimes spots things (that wordily disguised MSG for example) that I may miss.

 

It really does help to have the child working with you, and although it can take a little while, yet once he realises what that stuff actually does to him, he may be more willing to eliminate it

 

trying to get other family and friends to comply can be a lot harder!!

 

 

If your child was a diabetic and you told others he couldnt have sugar, they wouldnt dream (I sure hope) of giving it to him.........so why is it so hard to get other family and friends to take us seriously on the artificial free diets our kids need!!

 

I think the only way is to actually get very serious with them, and explain that this isnt just some dietary "fad" you have the child on, but something ESSENTIAL to their health and well being, and that consuming the stuff that triggers tics could have serious health consequences for the child. If they are helped (gently) to understand that these things actually do bodily harm to the child, perhaps they would be more co-operative

 

that basically is the method I used when my child was younger. I was emphatic that they were HURTING my child and that I simply would NOT permit it.

 

Claire (bless her! ) had some great threads running here on ways to still give tasty treats (eg for school, parties etc) and still stay within the healthy guidelines

I will see if I can find them later and bump them up

 

But

I gotta get to work now

[Guest]

One of my suggestions is to try and give kids some choice in planning meals, snacks, and parties. Maybe you could come up with some healthy choices that your children could choose from. I know as a child one of my parents always tried to eliminate dairy (especially milk & ice cream), cheetos, pop, and chocolate. I was always sneaking these items and my school and the pool would tell my parents if they saw me eating these items. However, my friends could eat whatever they wanted. I think that if I would have had a choice of some similar, but healthier food choices, I would have been more willing to comply. For example, rice milk, cheese whales from Whole Foods, natural ice cream, milk free chocolate, etc. Also routine may be important to your children so they know what their meals will be for that week, etc.

 

I can also identify with all of you because diet is hard especially when you're addicted to the bad food items, others around you don't respect your diet, and you're always exposed to watching others eat unhealthy foods. I actually turned down being a camp counselor at a TS camp this year that I've worked at for 3 years because of the response I received when asking to bring my own allergy free food. I was told that the cooks could only cook the kids special foods, and that I or the cooks couldn't heat my food up in the kitchen. I was also told that I couldn't talk about my allergies. I was even told that they followed the USDA guidelines so that's why they can't do my diet. However, I didn't feel that was the truth at all because I work in a day-care that follows USDA food guidelines and we don't feed kids foods that they are allergic to. I decided that even though my diet isn't perfect at home, I'm able to make it a better diet than I would have at camp on the conditions so it wasn't worth coming home farting from a strong intense stomach tic like last year. I instead decided to go on a mission trip which runs a day camp for kids, and when I asked about my allergies there, I was told that's no problem. We'll just give the cooks a heads up and I'm sure they'll cook appropriately. You're also welcome to bring you own food.

 

So not everybody disagrees with your child's diet and many times I think it is the tic link that causes people to disagree and refuse to allow the diet. Try to seek out those who allow your child to remain on an appropriate diet.

 

Carolyn

[itsme]

It's crazy how difficult this additive free diet can be.

 

Personally, I like it. I've always been quite "chemically sensitive" in that I can really taste artificial ingredients, and it puts me off. I CANNOT even eat one Smartie, because it tastes like a toxic-dump sugar bomb to me. (I also get headaches from small amounts of air freshener, cigarette smoke, strong perfumes, typical cleansers, etc.) To be fair, I can taste a lot of things really well... like I'll tell my mother what ingredients she put into a sauce just by tasting it. My family always comes to me with obscure food questions, or asks me to identify some unknown herb that's been languishing unlabled in the cupboard.

 

Anyway, most food chemicals have a very distinctive flavour to me. So, I've always had me and my 5 year old daughter eating fairly healthily. But now that I've taken the big step up to what I wish to be a completely additive free diet, it feels like I'm the only one who's really trying! I spoke with my daughter's school and explained things, and sure enough, this week she was given 2 freezies and a coloured icing cookie. Just because it isn't life threatening, they don't seem to care that much!

 

My daughter's father and I are not together, and haven't been since before she was born. I've told him to email me what she eats when she's over there, and he does, and he seems to want to help, but the two suppers she had there this week included orange jello, a fruit roll up, and all kinds of preservative-laden Kraft dressings and BBQ sauces and more. And my mother babysat her last night while I worked and left a bag of brightly coloured candy on the coffee table that my daughter of course couldn't resist while mom was talking on the phone.

 

Am I the only one who cares? I hate to be the bad guy, I really do!!!! Is it crazy to want complete compliance for a while so I can get a handle on where we're at and what the triggers are and sort of a baseline to work from??! She hasn't had a completely clean week yet. I haven't taken away sugar completely, just reduced it, so it's not like she's deprived. I went out and bought 100% juice freezies, natural gingersnaps, additive free gummies, Yummy Earth lollipops with no artificial ingredients, Glee gum with no art. ing., etc. She is definitely having treats!

 

Please, everyone who follows this or has followed this... Chemar, Jeff... how in the world do you get people to take you seriously and get them on board? How do you get your kids not to sneak stuff when the opportunity arises? Do you feel guilty that they don't partake in the crappy junk fests at school and get togethers and birthdays? Help me know if I'm doing the right thing!

 

Calicat

 

Hi Calicat and good morning. What enabled my husband & I to drive home the point was our son's lab results. When I had the 'PROOF' before those who questioned or did not agree, then it was much more difficult for them to resist. In Proverbs God says get wisdom, but with all your getting, get understanding!!!! One of our son's immune level was a 10 & the range should be between 40 & 200. This explained why he was in a sick cycle every 3 weeks! There were so many other things that drove our case home & my husband has done so much research on the affects of preservatives, sugars & unnatural additivites which enabled us to pull the whole issue together so that our son's teachers knew what we trying to achieve with our sons' health.

 

Interestingly, since I brought my kindergartner's lunch to school everyday, it stirred up a lot of conversation with parents & students creating a new awareness to what we are doing with our children's health. A couple of parents have contacted our Dr. to see about their children's health issues as a result.

 

Ultimately, knowledge gives you the ability to communicate what is happening with your child. My husband & I stayed away from discussing his tics & kept the focus on nutrition. Nutrition is somthing everyone can appreciate & understand.

 

One last thing, my husband had to pull me on board which was no easy task. I had a lot of pride & ego to press through because he was the one caring so much & diving into the obvious problems we were facing & I felt like dead weight. Once I was able to get past myself & understand what we were dealing with, I jumped on board. People have fragile egos & that has to be kept in mind when confronting them on issues that require them to change.

 

I hope this was helpful! With kind regards, Pam

[Cum Passus]

Chemar,

 

I have to tell you... I had to take a double look at your picture.

 

I look a lot like that photo.

 

God Bless

C.P.

[faith]

Pam,

thanks for that, I totally understand, but I am still having a little time of it, so can I pick your brain a little more? ..........

Does anyone ask why you had lab tests done on your son? What reason do you state for insisting on better nutrition for him (I know this is obviously a good thing but the temptations and availability of the junk at social gatherings makes this hard to stay under the radar on it -- when I bring out my goody bag of healthy alternatives, I stick out like a sore thumb --but I try not to make it obvious). You see, I don't want to tell every mother I converse with about the fact that my son has tics--or that's just going to call attention to them, and why do that when it is not really noticeable to everyone? But my problem is how to deal with this when we are in the company of others, and they are all having pizza and hot dogs and juice pouches and I am limiting my (skinny) son's sweet intake and giving him alternatives. They hear me telling him he can't have this and that and I don't want to say the real reason, so I say he has a sensitivity to the foods, but sometimes they ask me what will happen and I get tongue tied so I just say he has mucous and stomach problems and he doesn't like to talk about it so I just wink and change the subject. It's only the people that I hang with often that I worry about, because the more we are together, the more curious they will be and eventually we will get to that conversation. I really try to keep it to myself, but it's getting hard when there are so many social situations.

 

I guess the hard part for me is being in others company over and over and I still havn't gotten that part down pat yet, and when my son doesn't exactly want to comply and he wants that big fat jelly donut that everyone else is eating, ....(and they'll say "oh one won't hurt him").... there's just no one easy way.

 

Any other suggestions on how to handle this once and for all?

 

 

Thanks

Faith

[patty]

Faith,

 

I totally understand about bringing your alternative treats for your son while everyone is eating something else. I do get ask alot from the curious few what happens when my son eats something that he is not suppose to have. I simply tell them that my son has food allergies and used to have asthma and since we changed the way we eat and used various form of alternative treatments that his asthma is gone. I don't find it necessary to explain the details and i don't want to. However, i do have a few friends who knows about it.

 

I have always been known as a health conscience eater, and i don't allow my kids to eat certain things. Within the past year, i have restricted our diet even more, now some people think that i have kind of gone over the top. I have even lost a friend because she thinks i am paranoid. I figure it is better to have the burden on me than telling why i am doing it. I know it is not going to be forever, and my son will eventually be able to eat everything. Besides, now that i know even more about food, i can't bear to eat anything that does not nurture me & my family.

 

Since we eat a fairly clean diet at home, i do allow my kids junk food in moderation at get togethers & birthday parties. My kids are pretty health conscience and have developed a kine sense of taste for good food. So when they are eating something that is not from home, they usually don't eat that much.

 

Patty

[itsme]

Pam,

thanks for that, I totally understand, but I am still having a little time of it, so can I pick your brain a little more? ..........

Does anyone ask why you had lab tests done on your son? What reason do you state for insisting on better nutrition for him (I know this is obviously a good thing but the temptations and availability of the junk at social gatherings makes this hard to stay under the radar on it -- when I bring out my goody bag of healthy alternatives, I stick out like a sore thumb --but I try not to make it obvious). You see, I don't want to tell every mother I converse with about the fact that my son has tics--or that's just going to call attention to them, and why do that when it is not really noticeable to everyone? But my problem is how to deal with this when we are in the company of others, and they are all having pizza and hot dogs and juice pouches and I am limiting my (skinny) son's sweet intake and giving him alternatives. They hear me telling him he can't have this and that and I don't want to say the real reason, so I say he has a sensitivity to the foods, but sometimes they ask me what will happen and I get tongue tied so I just say he has mucous and stomach problems and he doesn't like to talk about it so I just wink and change the subject. It's only the people that I hang with often that I worry about, because the more we are together, the more curious they will be and eventually we will get to that conversation. I really try to keep it to myself, but it's getting hard when there are so many social situations.

 

I guess the hard part for me is being in others company over and over and I still havn't gotten that part down pat yet, and when my son doesn't exactly want to comply and he wants that big fat jelly donut that everyone else is eating, ....(and they'll say "oh one won't hurt him").... there's just no one easy way.

 

Any other suggestions on how to handle this once and for all?

 

 

Thanks

Faith

 

 

Good morning Faith. By the way, I love your name!!!

 

Our focus within our family is getting strong & healthy. In my previous email I stated that our youngest was in a 3 week sick cycle from December through May. Our other son was in a similiar cycle too. (5yrs. & 6yrs. old) Their personalities were not right either - moody, irritable, over-emotional & terribly reactional. When our youngest started the eye tics in Dec.'06, my husband jumped on the internet & started the search for understanding. We discovered, through his extensive research, that nutrion & gut absorbtion is the key to good mental, physical health. He learned so much from Bontech too about how all of this ties in together. That is why is wasn't too difficult for us not to mention the TS & to focus on the gut-absorbtion issues & nutrion.

 

One thing I have learned is that Moms want to know what you are doing when you are doing something they are not & they see how positive your child responds to it. Ahhhhhh....big key factor. Your kiddo has got to be on board the healthy wagon all together & that was one the really stumbed me. God has a wonderful way of ansewering prayers & I prayed fervently for our boys to be on board & He answered that prayer with yet more knowledge on how to be unified in our family.

 

1st. You have got to believe in what you are doing. No doubt. (This is where your beautiful name kicks in!)

2nd. My husband is on the same program they are on & it is great! They do this together & edify each other as they take their Super Man pills & nasty tasting probiotics.

3rd. Consistency. When they know what to expect, then there is little room for temptation.

4th. Understanding. When the fish you prepared (ha!, this is an example from my kitchen!) tastes bland & terribly non-satisfing, focus on a fun activity after dinner to help them finish.

5th. Smile. You are doing a great thing for your son & for yourself by discplining your cravings & by helping your boy grow healthy & strong.

 

Our Dr. is great. The boys love him & enjoy being around him. He helps the boys understand what we are doing & that makes the boys all the more determined to do what needs to be done. Also, they know that this is not forever. We will be off this diet in the relatively near future (10 mo.'s, maybe) & that the results from this diet ARE SO WORTH IT!

 

Our 5 yr. old thanked his Daddy for helping him get better after our 2nd meeting with our Doctor. That makes it all worth it!

 

Back in January when we were really over-our-heads with attitude issues w/the boys, we came across a wonderful Tae Kwon Do program that really focused on developing character in young children. The instructor taught me a priceless lesson - positively discpline so that you can build character, not tear it down. He did not tell me this - I witnessed it happen right before me & man, was I convicted. Being a very emotional being myself, I realized that my emotional reactions were not helping matters.

 

Lastly, our boys understand what we are doing & do not mind being around others with cup cakes & french fries. They sometimes laugh & say.....ohhhhhh, yummy, but that will be the end of that. The one thing that I have had to correct with my oldest is that he shouldn't preach to the other kids on how they are polluting their bodies. As you can see in my long email, we do not have a problem with expressing ourselves!!! My youngest does what needs to be done & the kids support him - infact, he told me that his teacher was going to give him something he shouldn't have & his friend corrected her & told her that wasn't good for him to eat.

 

We have it out in the open & it has caused a lot of talk, learning & sharing. I do not force what we are doing on anyone - it's just what we are doing & I am more than happy to answer questions concerning it.

 

Love is key in this whole program & you most certainly have that powerful force within you! May God bless & keep you - Pam

[faith]

Pam and Patty,

thanks so much for all that insight. I think I am now feeling a little more confident and am going to be able to dig my heels in a little deeper to keep this all up.

 

Yes, the nutrition and and absorbtion is definitely what I am trying to accomplish, so I think I will stick to that in that my son is a skinny guy and that is how I was able to convince my mother of all this -- that he eats real food so much better when he isn't constantly consuming junk (although I wish I could see a little weight gain to further boost my argument!). My mom and a couple of close friends are aware of the tic issue, and my mom for one is breathing so much easier when she sees him obviously better.

 

Thanks sincerely for taking the time to share your own wisdom and experience. .......... Yes, God does answer our prayers with so much more than we realize!

 

Faith