Indirect way of helping your kids with tics is help yourself

[quan_daniel]

I have read so many posts including mine from the past how our kids tics have put us through the worst of time.

It took me a while I have to start curing myself first.

Cognitive behavior therapy really have helped me, finding a nice doctor is key, because some are

just interested in money.

Then taking supplement such as magnesium for oneself is also important, it helps me to realx.

 

Then excercise ...excercise..

 

This link shows how Joe was depressed got better through therapy and excercising.

It probably has to do with endorphines being released.

http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/01/23/...e1smoots001.cfm

 

I think my son sees a difference in me. Our relationship has never been before.

He sees confident in me and indirectly he sees confidence in himself.

Before that I would so worry about every single tics , every wax and wane, it also worries him too.

He sees my face with a frown all the time...he must be thinking ..My God something must be bad..am I that sick..

That puts a tremendous amount of stress in him and in he family.

 

He is only 7 .. he has no idea why he tics or what he does.

 

When introducing all this supplement, chiropratic,masage..do so in a slow manner..

it can be very overwhelming to him/her too.

 

Unlike the traditional western medicine, supplement and alternative medicine takes a longer period of time to see improvement.

Western Medicine masks the problem, like sweeping dust under the rug, meanwhile Alt Medicine cleans the dust all of the rug,which

takes longer time.

 

We are so use to taking tylenol and have the pain dissappear within minutes and at the same distroying your liver and stomach.

 

The first and immediate method in helping kids with tics is not any supplement or massage, it is your understanding, it is your bravery, and

it is your smile on your face that he/she sees help!!

 

Often time I too want to put on a head phone and not able to hear the vocal tics, but that just shows an image to the child that this is so unacceptable.

 

So what do I do, meditation, yoga, running...it helps..

 

Sorry for the rambling..

 

Daniel

[Chemar]

Dear Daniel

 

thank you for that very special post

 

when I think back to how you were feeling when you first joined us and read this now...well...all I can say is how very very encouraging it is!

 

[quan_daniel]

Cheri,

I think this was make possible when Sheila started this forum, followed by nice people like you, Claire, Alison and others..

 

Thanks

Daniel

[patty]

Daniel,

 

Thx for the post! It is a good reminder to those of us in the beginning of their journey.

 

10 months into this, I, too feel strongly that to heal my child, i have to heal myself. As a family, we are all connected as one. And we as a family is constantly feeding off each other's energy & emotion. Also, think positive instead of negative. We all have the power to use our positive energy to create our own destiny. In the midst of choas, i have forgotten everything and was filled with grief & despair. It got me nowhere and much stress to everyone.

 

I am so thankful for this forum and everyone who has helped me, esp. Chemar, Carolyn, CP, kim, Julie24, Claire, Daniel, just to name a few. It is so very important for the old timer to stick around & give advice. Information comes empowerment, and empowerment comes with greater acceptance and understanding.

 

Patty

[Irena]

Hi,

 

I have disapeared from this forum for some time because...I felt I needed a break. Well, in fact it wasn't me who came with this idea, but my husband.

 

In the middle of October my youngest son, 5 year old, started this throat clearing. Needless to say what I felt. It was simply too much. I was devastated. Ok, next day he developed mild infection. Ok, it was worst when he was running outside in very cold air, playing football and shouting. OK, in a book about psychological development of a child (many times this book helped me to understand changes in my kids' behaviour) it says that throat clearing is very typical for this age. But we all know that it often starts like this and exactly at this age. I didn't have strength to go through all this again. the only thing that I did was withdrawing milk and diary and limiting sugar to minimum. It lasted about a month and stopped. He does it sometimes, but I supposed no more than any of us.

 

I could feel that I, myself, am sliding down. I read all the stories here and on the Polish forum and instead of hope I could see only sea of pain (you know how it is, you see what you want to see). So my husband suggested a break from the Internet. At first I frowned. This is the place where I found hope in the beginning, where I found all the information, where I found wonderful people.... But then I decided to give it a try and I did. Slowly, slowly, I was getting better, inspite of the fact that Staś actually was doing worse. (Since the beginning of December, after the two-month practically tic-free period, they are there again, and sometimes I wouldn't call them mild. And I can't figure out what the reason is . It is very frustrating. Am I to belive that it is waning and waxing because that is what tics are like?).

 

Then I felt strong enough to look here again, many times tempted to join in (Patty, how I felt for you, when you were writing about your daughter; I do hope everything is/will be all right), but I feel sort of emptiness inside, this feeling that I got to the wall and I have no power to climb it.

 

Today I received the results of the amonacids panel. EVERYTHING is wrong. If I find time (we are going skiing on Saturday) I will have some questions because I am SO SO confused. But this will be in another thread. Quan_Daniel, you are so right about this hepling our kids through helping ourselves. I also started taking supplements but am not very consistent with this. I know I still don't accept the whole situation although I realise God is very gentle with me. We all know there are worse things in the world. I need to pray more.

 

Irena

[Chemar]

((((Irena)))))

 

It is good to see you tho I am so sorry to hear that things are not yet getting better

 

If Stas' amino acids are out, this could be a very big answer in what is happening with him

 

You and he will be in my prayers Irena

Try to spend some quiet time yourself with God. I learned diring the worst years for us that there was a time for me to cry out to Him but also a time for me to be silent in His Presence to listen...it was then that the answers to my cries came

 

we are always here for you Irena

[Cum Passus]

It's so beneficial to read others go through the same emotions you are going through. Sometimes you think no one has walked in your shoes, or you beat yourself up over how you are feeling. One goes through stages, and one knows his own body and weaknesses. Nourish yourself the best way you know how. Our children are all different ages and you have to take that into concideration. I feel very connected to Patty even though my son is 5 or 6 years oldrer then her son we seem to share the same anguish. And Chemar gives us such hope for a brighter future for our childern. I love the way Irena said "God was gentle with her." You are right Irena God knows us all, He made us, and He will help us get through those really bad days so we can go forward bravely.

 

I think often how our Lord didn't spare his own mother sorrow. That pain you feel just tells us how much you love your child. God Bless

 

C.P.

[kim]

Irena,

 

I am so happy that Daniel's thread, brought you back with an update!

 

I really hope getting the amino acids on track will help all you have done, fall into place.

 

It's so good to hear from you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

 

Prayers and Hugs

 

Kim

[vicki linn]

i am new here and have been suffering silently alone with a daughter that has motor and vocal tics and huge emotional ups and downs. i have been devestated and scared and felt guilty and like a bad parent i have felt lost and helpless i have felt like there is no other person on this planet that knows how i feel i have felt like i could not face my daughter i have felt all the feelings one can imagine and felt like a bad person for feeling themi have felt like i want to drink to numb the stress and reality i have felt like i want to run away. to know that there are so many parents out there that have felt what i feel makes me feel so much better. i know what daniel is saying about taking care of myself. this year i decided that is what i am going to do. i spent last year (the whole year) and most of the previous year DEVESTATED by what is happening in my family to my daughter to all of us....... this year will be different. i have taught myself a lot over the past few years. i have figured out a lot on my own. this year will be different. i will have help from people like you. i will have the support i need. this year will be different. i will take care of me. already this year i went to florida and trained with Donna Gates to be a Certified Body Ecologist. this year will be different. i will share my knowledge with other people and help them to help their families. this year will be different i will not be alone anymore. this year will be different i will be able to talk about tics and not cry everytime..... yes...... this year will be different........

 

vicki~

[Irena]

Hi Vicky,

I wish you all the best and strongly believe that this year will be better for you, and for all of us and will not depend on whether our kids tic more or less. very often (if not always) they are coping much, much better than ourselves.

 

You've found the great place. I am sure you will be most welcome here by the board members but, as they are probably still asleep (I am at the other side of the globe - it is a beautiful, snowy morning here in Poland), let me be the first to give you hug.

 

We've been through a very nasty gut virus recently and my son's tics were so much worse. Now they are back to normal, rather minimal level and I am ashamed of myself that I am so emotionally unstable. I am sure that athough I try to keep a brave face and pretend I am happy in front of my son, he senses whether I am all right or not.

 

Yesterday, on the Polish board there was a very interesting and moving post from a 30-year old man who wrote about how he felt burdened by his parents' constant efforts to "fix" his problem. he said he knew they loved him and still do, and he loves them dearly but he really felt so relieved went he left home and went to college. And he said, that it was much bigger problem for them than for him. But he didn't feel comfortably knowing that they didn't accept him the way he was. That certainly does not mean to give up any efforts to help our children but I strongly believe that one of the best "supplement" is relaxed, laughing parents, relaxed atmosphere at home, a lot of humour. For the time being, I know I have a problem. So let me share your New Year resolution...this year will be different...this year will be better.

[Chemar]

Vicki...a big welcome to you and thank you for your open and very encouraging post! Once we get a grip on our emotions and begin to focus on solutions rather than the problems, things seem to really change

 

And Irena...I have heard SO many people with TS (kids and adults) make that comment about the awful feeling they had when they sensed their parents were continuously trying to "fix" them.........

 

Doing things to help and improve general health and wellbeing, while eliminating tic triggers and adding good nutritional supps etc etc can be accomplished in such a way as to make it more of a normal healthy transition, rather than an obsession. And for a parent to have a meltdown every time a child has tics is a really heavy burden on the child, and makes them so acutely aware that the parent observes something "wrong" with them.

 

I have posted the link to my friend Lara's commentary on this before, but here it is again in the hope that it can again help parents whose children have Tourette Syndrome to gain perspective in their efforts to help the children.....doing what we can to improve their quality of life IS our responsibility, BUT we should always try to do it with an attitude of acceptance and never make the child feel they are "sick" or imperfect or broken because they tic!!

 

I stress again, this doesnt mean we just "give up"....of course not! But we control our obsession with the "fix", gain understanding that people with TS tic, and work in the needed tests and changes in such a way that it is seen more as normal health improvement than having to stop those tics. We and our children benefit enormously from such an approach. believe me, I know from my own experience!!

 

Here is a link to Lara's "IT's OK TO TIC"

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=1486

 

[Guest]

Hi Vicki,

 

I just wanted to say welcome & glad that you found your way here. By the way, I'm the one that talked to you from the BEDROK group. I hope you will find this group helpful also, and I look forward to you sharing your suggestions & ideas also.

 

Carolyn

[Cum Passus]

Hi Vicki linn,

 

Welcome, Thank you for sharing how you feel. Last year was so bad for me emotionally. It's hard because as parents we have to still parent, and keep our kids on the right track to becoming wonderful adults. I struggle with the 13 yr old attitude with my son. Sometimes he makes it hard to understand his TS. He really is a good boy, and I have to pick my battles with him. I know I have been through so meny stages with this, and I learned so much as time goes on. I just realized something new this past Sunday. Our son was screeming last year and we had to have him sit outside the main church. I remember when the tics started to get loud people would turn and look at him. he has been doing well for 2 months now, and we let him decide when he wanted to sit in church again. Well he did it this past Sunday, and I was remembering when people would turn and look at him for ticcing. What I realized was the lady next to him was chewing gum. The woman behind us took a phone call. And a young girl was dressed indecent for church. Was anyone looking at them? NO! I would remove him again if he ever started the screaming tic again, but I know now not to worry about the little noise he makes because they are not that bad, and if people want to look at him then so be it. I admit I move in baby steps, but I do believe I'll get a complete handle on this. I know you will too, when the time is right for you.

 

Glad your here,

C.P.