So Sad

[Giselle]

Hi everyone, I am quite sad, glad the teacher was honest with me but still sad. My son goes to a small private school. They have music two times a week and a gorgeous Christmas musical to showcase the kids. Hoyt is quite shy usually but has started to show interest in getting on stage (performed gloriously at the talent show last spring - he did the cutest magic tricks! and stole the show). The music teacher told me yesterday that as she does every year she asks who would like to audition for the solos. She told me she thought she knew all the "good singers" in Hoyt's class but always gives everyone a chance to audition should they want to. Hoyt asked to do so (I had no idea this was happening as it was in their music class but it kinda shocks me that he volunteered to audition!). Apparently he was so wonderful she started crying (her words). Even Hoyt told me after school "I made Mrs. xxxx cry!" She came to me at pick up and told me she had no idea he could sing that well, that he brought tears to her eyes, blah, blah, blah. That she hasn't decided but she was truly considering him for one of the four solos (the school has 245 students and only four solos, the rest is as a chorus). I was very proud of him and actually had no idea he could sing that well either! Last night the teacher called me and asked if she could be totally honest with me - of course - and that he would have the part slam dunk but her reservation was his tics. This past week he's been fine but two weeks ago he was a mess and no one can be sure what he'll be like at the performance. I told her that I could absolutely guarantee he wouldn't tic DURING his solo (he never does when he's actively doing something) but that without a doubt I couldn't predict what would happen as he was standing up there while others sang - it's that passive listening that gets him going if he's inclined to be ticcing.

 

It makes me quite sad. Of course I'm not telling him. He said he thought he might get the part as she told him he was the best singer in the lower division but I told him that he might not because there are lots of things she has to consider, not just singing, when she doles out the parts - which he understood. And I truly do appreciate her honesty because she could have just gone on an cast someone else and then we wouldn't know how well he sings. I prefer that she told me, I truly do. I worked as a production manager in commercials and there were TONS of people who gave amazing readings or looked great but it was some little thing that lost them the part. That's life. In business there can be wonderful candidates for a job and perhaps they didn't mesh with the person hiring them - that's just facts. It just kinda sucks.

 

I know some of you might say that I should report her to the principal but I'm really glad she told me because as I said before now I know that he "sings like an angel" where if she didn't tell me I would just think whoever got selected was the best. I think that everyone is trying to be so politically correct that they hide their true ideas so that they look better - but I'd rather know what they really think. By not saying what they think doesn't take away what they think. She an older lady and obviously oblivious to the fact that she could probably get in deep doodoo telling me such a thing. Anyhow, the end of our conversation had her really confused - she said she was really torn so I suppose there's a chance. I truly hope she can get past the TS.

 

Keep your fingers and toes crossed!

Giselle

[kim]

Wow, Giselle, you put me through a whole range of emotions in a very short time frame here.

 

Yes, it is wonderful that Hoyt volunteered to share his talent, and now you know too!

 

Yes, the teacher's honesty, had benefits, BUT...The whole idea of someone not appearing "perfect" enough to be showcased in a Christmas program, is just such a irony. I don't think the one that is truly being honored at Christmas, would agree with this rational.

 

If Hoyt was having a hard time, at that particular time, what would be wrong with letting him go on stage just before his solo?

 

It just seems like there would be some pretty easy ways to remedy her concerns. A little flexability sure seems in order here, and not to make her or the audience comfortable, just Hoyt.

 

I will SO be hoping this works out the way it should.

 

It's nice to see you here again too, you've been missed!

 

Kim

[Chemar]

I agree with Kim, Giselle!

 

If he has the voice for the part, not giving it to him because he "might" tic is actually discrimination against someone with a disability (which TS is now officially classified as by the dept of education)

 

i realise it is a private school.........but discrimination is just that....nomatter how sweetly it is cloaked

 

 

 

my son has done public speaking, debating and had parts in plays etc

if anyone had tried to deny him the things he is capable of "because he has TS" I can assure you my mommy lioness side would have come out big time

 

I do hope she reconsiders and does the right thing

 

and yes.....Kim is so right about the irony of it being a Christmas play and him being left out for not being "perfect"

[Pandamom]

Giselle,

 

I'm a fifth grade teacher in a public elementary school which has an extensive ESE program so we have children with special needs as a daily part of life - and I have to say the "regular" kids in our school accept our ESE guys without blinking an eye - when they go to middle school where the ESE kids are not treated equally it is a great shock to them.

 

I had a young man in my class two years ago who was thought to have ADD. He was extremely bright and shy. He cried constantly and had some very unusual tics. Our music teacher discovered that Ian has a beautiful voice and had him sing a solo in front of the entire school. I told him to just look at me the whole time and pretend like he was just singing to me. Little did I know that at the end of the solo which was "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places" and made me cry like a baby because he was graduating fifth grade that year; at the end of the performance he got up with several other students and told who made a difference in his life. He said, "Ms. Williams has helped me know that I can do anything - I really believe in myself!"

 

I think that feeling came from music - he found a spot in life where he can excel and feel confident. You might want to share this with his music teacher. When the world reaches out and embraces our kids with all their unique gifts it's very empowering for them. Ian has gone on to middle school and found a great place in the band where he can really shine. Ultimately he was diagnosed with aspergers.

 

good luck. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he has the chance to be shining star.

[Claire]

Giselle,

 

I respect that you don't want to go to the principal, but I thought the same thing about going offstage and coming on last minute.

 

To me that God gave your child this gift and that he is sharing this beautiful gift with the world ...does the teacher think one single parent out there would CARE that the child had tics before, after or even during?

 

Did she watch American Idol? Taylor Hicks had quirks out the ying yang and Simon thought he would never cut it because though Taylor had a good voice, he was just too weird--he made odd faces and bent over weird. Well, guess who won the entire competition? His quirks made him human, then his love of music and sincerity won the audience over. Then he grew into his role.

 

Claire

 

ps Still, what a wonderful thing that your child sings so beautifully!!

[Cum Passus]

Giselle,

 

By coward hands was Christ crucified... yet, He still forgives.

 

What a beautiful display of Christ like virtue, UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE

 

God Bless You,

C.P.

[kim]

CP,

 

What a lovely thing you picked up on and pointed out!

[quan_daniel]

Giselle,

Just want to let you know, where I work, 2 people has TS.

One is a successful Tech Manager and the other one is a project manager.

 

People with TS do succeed in life.

 

I am sure people who do not belong to the norm will always be picked upon and singled out.

 

I would have a meeting with the teacher along with the school councelor to straighten out the issue.

 

I would like to find out as a parent how tics will affect the performance of his singing.

 

I am sure the teacher will have no good answers for that.

 

Happy Holiday

[Giselle]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your comments, words of support, and urgings. I keep thinking how sad it is - if it's true that he sings as well as he does (still haven't heard him - at least compared to others) then that is a God given gift - but God also gave him his TS (well I debate long and hard about vaccines, etc. but that's on another thread ). The one thing I am going to do when we return to school (we have the whole week off) is remind her that even if he's not singing a solo he will still be standing up there the WHOLE time anyway as that is what the chorus does - so she'll have him up there either way - and at least if he's doing his solo he WON'T be ticcing as he doesn't when he's talking, singing, doing something active versus passive. She's an older lady who truly has very few social skills herself (although she means well) and truly doesn't even realize that in most places she could get fired for saying things like this. I will keep you posted! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Giselle

[Brenda]

Giselle,

 

I just wanted to congratulate Hoyt on for being so brave to audition for a solo part in the Christmas musical, and I do hope that the music teacher looks at his talent, not at his TS.

 

My daughter is wonderful at playing piano and has competed in various music festivals over the past 4 years. When I told her piano teacher about her TS, she simply said, that if anything happens regarding tics, she will deal with it then. At the festivals I have seen other children with disabilities - blind, in wheel chairs and their talent is recognized as talent!

 

Best of luck to Hoyt, I know that whatever role he plays in the musical he will be fantastic!

 

Brenda

[Giselle]

YEAH!!!!!!! She gave him the part - she decided today! We had a week off at Thanksgiving and actually over this time Hoyt had a horrible time with his TS - no offending food but I think he's reacting to his vitamins so as of Sunday I took him off everything again! I had to keep him home from school on Monday he was doing so badly. He was getting much better by Tuesday but I still kept him home. Sure enough she called that day asking what was up (I was expecting this! and let me interject - it's unusual for the teachers to call home. He's been at the school 4 years now and I've only been called once before and that was because he had a fever - she was very invested in this decision!) I didn't tell her anything except that he hadn't been feeling well (the truth) but that he'd be back the next day (Wednesday). They had chapel yesterday (parents are aloud to sit with their kids for chapel and I go every week) and usually she sits at the piano during the homily. This Wednesday she sat in the choir loft and stared at Hoyt - it was awful!!! He only ticced once which was a total surprise because they had used incense earlier and the lady sitting in front of us was wearing perfume (death to him usually). He had music for the first time today Thursday. My stomach was doing flip flops when I went to go pick him up because I knew she would have made her decision. I didn't say anything about it and waited for him to tell me. He told me as soon as we were out of the hallway. He was so proud and happy and I was so relieved and of course proud and happy too! But I was so thrilled that she either got over her prejudice or decided to give it a chance. Of course he knows nothing of the drama that has been going on and I'll keep it that way. The sense of relief I had was overwhelming!

 

I'm really glad I didn't get in the middle of this - this has been her decision and there was no pressure from me whatsoever. I thought if I'd made a big deal about it then she might have chosen him because of that - I wanted to see what she would do. I had a great idea though had she NOT chosen him - kinda of more my style. I was going to give her CDs of Andrea Bocelli, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and Itzhak Perlman for Christmas . He still has 5 more years with her so I thought if I'd given her the CD's I would have subtley made my point and perhaps she'd rethink the next time - kinda shame her a little - but I didn't have to - she came through! YEAH!!!

 

Thanks for all your support and prayers!

[patty]

Gieselle,

 

I am so happy for you & your son! I admire your son's courage and confidence to audition for the part. Obviously, you have done a great job with his self esteem. Mom, pat yourself on the back. If he doesn't see any problems, who are we to judge and stand in his way. We have much to learn from him.

 

I am glad to hear that he is doing much better & is ready to return to school.

 

Patty

[Chemar]

(((((Giselle))))))) & (((((((Hoyt))))))

 

this is truly wonderful news and I am sooooo glad that the teacher allowed recognition true talent to overide any prejudice and reservations that she had! and that this may well be a first step in something very very special for Hoyt!

 

blessings and love to you both

 

Cheri

 

[kim]

Giselle,

 

Awesome news!

 

I'm sure that's going to be a tear jerking performance, at least for one proud Mom. Be sure to have your tissue on hand, if you're anything like me. I get teary with a small speaking part!

 

Way to go Hoyt!!!

[Cum Passus]

Giselle,

 

WEEEEEEE.......

 

This is so great!!!!!!!

 

I'm doing cartwheels in the livingroom.

 

You are such an inspiration for considering this matter so prudently.

 

God is so good to the humble and submissive.

 

Look forward to hearing the revews.

 

ELATED, C.P.