Rough Week

[airial95]

We've been doing realtively well, so I haven't had too much room to complain. We even hosted the Florida support group meeting at our house this past weekend, and people even commented on how well my son was doing - happy and social!

 

Well - it went downhill very quickly the next morning. An all out battle to get dressed and go to church, followed by some ups and downs the rest of the day. On Monday, my husband had to leave town for work, and left me with a kid on the edge! It was terror to get him to school on Monday, and Monday evening it was all I could do to count down the minutes until bedtime!! Tuesday didn't fare much better - he flipped a gasket at breakfast because there were only 4 donut holes left, and EVERYTHING needs to be in 5's. (Considering I couldn't magically produce a 5th donut, I had to ride that one out - not fun). Just to be 20 minutes late for our therapy appointment that afternoon because I didn't park in the "right place" and I couldn't get him out of the car (he has a new weird obsession about where I park - I have no idea why)

 

Needless to say, day 4 of Daddy being away and it has not gotten any better - only worse. We were in the ped. yesterday and it turns out that both kids have colds, no strep, just the common every day cold, so it must be a reaction to that. Great, knowing it doesn't restore my patience any.

 

Over the course of the last 18 months when all of this started, I have always been the one to show restraint and patience, and only after DAYS of terror would I call for the "tap out" from the hubby. But lately, the last few weeks or so, I find I'm not getting any of that recharge I normally get. I have NO patience, and just lose it almost immediately at the first sign of trouble - which we all know doesn't help. I'm gettting short with my poor daughter too as a result.

 

I've found myself randomly crying also the last few weeks when I look at him, thinking it isn't fair that he has to go through this.

 

I don't know if I've just finally reached a breaking point, or if I've just been keeping myself so busy with research, treatment, etc...that it is all just now hitting me like a ton of bricks. Either way, I find myself dreading 5:00 when I have to leave the office to go pick him up from school. I just want to hide somewhere...

 

Daddy doesn't get home until late tomorrow night - I'm not sure if I'm going to make it!!!!

[Fixit]

aireal...i am mirroring your foot steps this week...i completely simpathize....

i can't even post about it....

I just want you to know i get it and it s*&(&s!

[Ozimum]

Ok - sounds like both of you are running on empty. I've so been there! PLEASE - get yourselves to a sympathetic medical practitioner. (My experience is that an intergrative doctor is more likely to understand the stress and will offer some natural treatment, and maybe a shoulder to cry on.) Get some blood work done eg. Vitamin D, magnesium, etc. Also, a good psychologist to unload to can help too. We are strong but we're not superhuman.

BIG cyber hugs coming to you now...You will get through this!

[Stephanie2]

I agree with the last post. My integrative medicine doc got me in such good shape that I was able to get off of lexapro and I am managing stress better OFF than ON to my surprise. Not to mention I have 2 pandas boys, both with autism. With that said, it also takes time to build up the strength to your personal circumstances. I think you will get there.

 

BTW, you asked me for some info at the meeting - I am going to PM it to you now.

 

Please call me if you need to talk. BTDT SOOOO many times, when I didn't think I would survive another day (sure I'll go back there again...!).

[PhillyPA]

You need a weekend away from it all. Can you get a babysitter for a night or weekend? Maybe grandparents? Grab your husband, get away together and recharge. It does wonders.

[peglem]

Okay, I'm hopping on a plane, will be there in a few hours to give you some relief (with collections of 5 of everything)... *poof* fantasy over! Really wish I could be there in person for you. Sending prayers for recovery for both you and your son!

Allie has been having a tough time this week, too. This morning I snapped (she gave me a titty twister, so whatcha gonna do?) and called my daughter a really bad name- I never do that! I was being so patient as she struggled and working so hard at holding it together- but the final straw- I totally reacted on impulse. Felt sooo bad afterward. Just giving you some feeling of company. We've got IVIG tomorrow- I'm so hoping the counting to (insert chosen #) and then saying good-bye to the elevator works tomorrow. I know she'll try....

[Ozimum]

Hi Peglem,

Oww!

Good luck for tomorrow! I feel I know you from reading your posts over the past few months as I've struggled to understand my son's condition. Hoping all goes well for both your daughter and you. Take care of you too!

[peglem]

Hi Peglem,

Oww!

Good luck for tomorrow! I feel I know you from reading your posts over the past few months as I've struggled to understand my son's condition. Hoping all goes well for both your daughter and you. Take care of you too!

Thanks, maybe I'll look into getting one of those cast iron bra's. Santa?

[Fixit]

Ok - sounds like both of you are running on empty. I've so been there! PLEASE - get yourselves to a sympathetic medical practitioner. (My experience is that an intergrative doctor is more likely to understand the stress and will offer some natural treatment, and maybe a shoulder to cry on.) Get some blood work done eg. Vitamin D, magnesium, etc. Also, a good psychologist to unload to can help too. We are strong but we're not superhuman.

BIG cyber hugs coming to you now...You will get through this!

 

thanks ozimom..didn't want to take over aireals vent time....(i don't want to get into me right now, but i did post over at lyme board, a thread i started, as i am just trying to make final anaylis on whether or not ds has lymes....) i think ds has slipped almost completely do to many things but final straw being ds7 strep...(my brother called, today..he has a small c=class rv..he said i can get one too and we'll carvan...i am toast, i can't remember not yelling...

i now think ds3 has another ear ache...says he has owey...and i am sure a tornado and 6 robbers have been in our house!!!

[Ozimum]

i now think ds3 has another ear ache...says he has owey...and i am sure a tornado and 6 robbers have been in our house!!!

 

Hi Fixit,

That ear ache would have me reaching for OLE, vit C and echinacea...and off to the doctor. Good luck! I live in fear of strep... I'm diagnosing myself with PTSD (my naturopath says maybe without the P!) And maybe compulsive something or other because I spend hours researching and reading this forum! (My house is lucky if it gets a weekly vacuum!)

[airial95]

Thank you all for the warm feelings!! I so felt it! My husband, called our babysitter (from MI) and had her surprise me just as the kids went to bed so I could get out for an hour or so...just what I needed!!! I just needed that vent. Thank you!!!

[Ozimum]

Keep that man! He's a gem! I'm so glad you got some time out.

[peglem]

What a terrific hub! Glad you got a break!

[thereishope]

First, I'm sorry.

 

Second, I felt the way you are. The first two exacerbations, I was strong, I was even proud of myself. I had patience, was creative in helping him, etc. Then I had a break between exacerbation #2 and #3. You'd think that would help, it was the opposite. I was no longer patient, snapping, crying, emotional basket case.

 

Ariel....you thought you were going to have a longer break than you did. You're wiped out and don't even know just how bad. Do what you need to do. Turn the tv on for them, try to get them to bed early by pushing all routines forward an hour. But don't beat yourself up. This takes so much physically and mentally. You are doing a great job!

 

 

We've been doing realtively well, so I haven't had too much room to complain. We even hosted the Florida support group meeting at our house this past weekend, and people even commented on how well my son was doing - happy and social!

 

Well - it went downhill very quickly the next morning. An all out battle to get dressed and go to church, followed by some ups and downs the rest of the day. On Monday, my husband had to leave town for work, and left me with a kid on the edge! It was terror to get him to school on Monday, and Monday evening it was all I could do to count down the minutes until bedtime!! Tuesday didn't fare much better - he flipped a gasket at breakfast because there were only 4 donut holes left, and EVERYTHING needs to be in 5's. (Considering I couldn't magically produce a 5th donut, I had to ride that one out - not fun). Just to be 20 minutes late for our therapy appointment that afternoon because I didn't park in the "right place" and I couldn't get him out of the car (he has a new weird obsession about where I park - I have no idea why)

 

Needless to say, day 4 of Daddy being away and it has not gotten any better - only worse. We were in the ped. yesterday and it turns out that both kids have colds, no strep, just the common every day cold, so it must be a reaction to that. Great, knowing it doesn't restore my patience any.

 

Over the course of the last 18 months when all of this started, I have always been the one to show restraint and patience, and only after DAYS of terror would I call for the "tap out" from the hubby. But lately, the last few weeks or so, I find I'm not getting any of that recharge I normally get. I have NO patience, and just lose it almost immediately at the first sign of trouble - which we all know doesn't help. I'm gettting short with my poor daughter too as a result.

 

I've found myself randomly crying also the last few weeks when I look at him, thinking it isn't fair that he has to go through this.

 

I don't know if I've just finally reached a breaking point, or if I've just been keeping myself so busy with research, treatment, etc...that it is all just now hitting me like a ton of bricks. Either way, I find myself dreading 5:00 when I have to leave the office to go pick him up from school. I just want to hide somewhere...

 

Daddy doesn't get home until late tomorrow night - I'm not sure if I'm going to make it!!!!

[thereishope]

Now, I see what your hubby did for you! I need to read all posts before I post! I hope the break helped.