Help, my sons counselor has called DSS

[NancyD]

And, IMHO, the counselor should be fired.

 

Actually, to this point, I would write a letter to the School Superintendent to complain about what happened. The counselor NEVER should have said anything so inappropriate in front of your son. Particularly one who has such high anxiety. Keep the letter factual, explain his medical condition and his behaviors, and if you have an attorney, I would cc him/her. Schools don't like lawsuits! Also, keep a log of who said what and when. I like to document EVERYTHING!

 

Nancy

[colleenrn]

Robin-

What antibiotic is he currently taking? I am worried that perhaps it is not working. Some antibiotics are not effective in treating strep. Can yo add Ibuprofen in the short term? Inositol can also be helpful with intrusive thoughts.

Colleen

[tantrums]

I used to be a DSS case worker. I only lasted 3 years. Awful, terrible job to say the least.

 

First of all, did the counselor actually say that in front of your child? That is just awful! Last thing you need!

 

But... let me offer some reassurance if there is any to be had. DSS in most states has changed from what people think it used to be. They DO offer some help to families in crisis - it's not only abuse/neglect investigations. They have contracts with counseling agencies, etc... that can actually offer some good resources.

 

However, when I worked at DSS I can tell you this - I was in my early 20's and childless And therefore, clueless on a lot of issues, as many case workers are. So yes, arm yourself with info and DO offer up your peds phone number is contacted. In fact, they would request that anyway. Nothing you have said here indicates this would even be a neglect/abuse referral and DSS may not even respond at all, or they could contact you to offer some help - depends on your state and I've been out of that area for over 10 years.

 

I still work for a Division of Human Services working with Disabilities and we DO serve thousands of kids. I have myself been discussing pandas with the different casemanagers, particular those in crisis and intake, our agency nurse, psychologists, etc... I am sure DSS could use some education on pandas as well! Hopefully not at the cost of more stress to you though. I'm doing what I can in my state.

[Rowens1214]

My thoughts exactly on the counselor. the thing is i waited 3 months to get an appt with him. he is considered the best in my town for helping kids. My son is devasted and told me he would never share with him again and that he has lost his trust. my son feels so bad for talking with him and telling him about the latest rage attack etc. Now this has just increased my son anxiety !!!! My husband took the kids out to dinner and a baseball game tonight. I needed the peace and the kids needed to get out. I hope everything goes O.K. I was worried about my son going out and throwing a fit at the game but i needed the time. I pray the night goes good.

[Rowens1214]

colleen, he is taking 2000 keflex a day. I have added in advil and i have been giving him inositol everyday for 1 month. I have been giving him 3 1/2 tsp a day. He did miss a few doses this weekend. Do you think it could affect him that fast. He is 175 5'11. does it sound like a high enough dose of inositol

 

 

The counselor is not a school counselor he is a LPC. We had to take my son out of school 2 months ago due to his extreme anxiety. He is going to a very small private school only 2 hrs a day right now.

 

The counselor is "worried" that someone will end up getting hurt when my son is raging. My husband and I have both been pushed by our son during his very bad times. Last night was just a lot of screaming and crying. I understand the counselors concerns but i dont know what he thinks DSS can do. They will probably recommend counseling, anger management, CBT. all of which is what i wanted to get from our counselor!!!

[tantrums]

Being "worried" that someone may get hurt - especially the parents rather than the child - isn't even a valid referral to DSS. Like I said, i was there a long time ago and a lot has changed. 10 years ago, we would not have even taken that investigation. Now, I do know they have different agencies that offer assistance in such situations - this would NOT be an investigation against you. It's a totally different issue.

 

If help is what the counselor was suggesting, that may not be all bad. But seriously, the way he went about it, I'd never go back. Saying something that 99% of the population considers threatening in front of the child is out of line!

[tantrums]

Meant to add - if DSS is involved and the mentioned services are recommended, that means THEY pay for them, so no - not all bad I know in the state I worked in, parents can call themselves and ask for that type of help. Might not hurt yourself to look into what may be available - check the state dept of human services website and see if you can find the info.

[Rowens1214]

just wanted to post an update. the social worker come to the house last night. my son has been going down hill again. and we had another throat culture taken yesterday due to a red throat and white spots on tonsils. So he was in prime conditions when the ss worker came. I had my papers on PANDAS and tried to explain to her about OD, OCD and rage fits that can go along with PANDAS. told her he may have strep again etc etc. you can imagine the looks but she was very very kind and listened to our story. I thought all was good and she would drop the case until she mentioned that it seemed like my son was just being a difficult teen and needed to be placed outside the home for intensive therapy.

 

so in my mind i imagined myself flying off the couch and shaking the women but never the less i sat very still and in a calm way asked her if DSS would consider removing my 10 yr old nephew who has diabetes from his home when he starts crashing from low insulin. I told her how i have been with my nephew and he will get very angry, defient and moody til the point he will not let me check his blood levels and starts crying and screaming. I explained to her that PANDAS rages were kinda like that. That it is an illness and not just a moody teen. I think she started to understand but mostly decided it was time to leave when my youngest son let my 2 large siberian huskys in the house and they started licking her and getting hair all over her black dress. the kicker was when i told her not to let the dogs give her anymore kisses because one of them has tested positive for strep. I know she thinks i am a total nut case and at times over the last 7 years i have felt like i have lost my mind. She gave us her card and said she would follow up by phone.

Edited June 10, 2010 by Rowens1214

[Fixit]

you did GREAT...what an awesome come back with nephew ..make sure you repeat it as you go!!!!!

 

just wanted to post an update. the social worker come to the house last night. my son has been going down hill again. and we had another throat culture taken yesterday due to a red throat and white spots on tonsils. So he was in prime conditions with the ss worker came. I had my papers on PANDAS and tried to explain to her about OD, OCD and rage fits that can go along with PANDAS. told her he may have strep again etc etc. you can imagine the looks but she was very very kind and listened our story. I thought all was good and she would drop the case until she mentioned that it seemed like my son was just being a difficult teen and needed to placed outside the home for intensive therapy.

 

so in my mind i imagined myself flying off the couch and shaking the women but never the less i sat very still and in a calm way asked her if DSS would consider removing my 10 yr old nephew who has diabetes from his home when he starts crashing from low insulin. I told her how i have been with my nephew and he will get very angry, defient and moody til the point he will not let me check his blood levels and starts crying and screaming. I explained to her that PANDAS rages were kinda like that. That it is an illness and not just a moody teen. I think she started to understand but mostly decided it was time to leave my my youngest son let my 2 large siberian huskys in the house and they started licking her and getting hair all ove her black dress. the kicker was when i told her not to let the dogs give her anymore kisses because on of them has tested positve for stre. I know she thinks i am a total nut case and at times over the last 7 years i have felt like i will lose my mind. She gave us her card and said she will follow up by phone.

[NancyD]

You did fantastic!! I'm sitting here laughing at your great comments!

 

Nancy

[peglem]

YOU ROCK, LADY!!!!!

[Phasmid]

Bravo! Well done!!

[Rowens1214]

thanks for the kind words. I cant stop thinking that when the social worker said my son needed to be placed outside the home for intensive therapy that i wanted to jump up and done and say i will go. I will leave and get therapy!!!

(just kidding) I have to laugh... its been another bad day and I am sitting here dreaming of running away to a tropical resort. I know that better days will come. With all that i am i just know that we will look back at this time and be better people because of what we have gone through. Greater things are yet to come!!!!!

Edited June 10, 2010 by Rowens1214

[becjonz]

You did awesome! What a great analogy to use about diabetes! You really kept your head in a situation that would leave me scared to death. Good luck with the follow up. I'll be eager to hear how you make out.

[airial95]

It sounds like you did great, but I would probably still get a lawyer on retainer. In my experience with child services, it unfortunately doesn't stop with one vista. Hate to be negative, I twndto be a worry wart, and I like to be ready for everything!