Food is tearing us apart

[tantrums]

Oh the decision making! that is the WORST part at my house. DS says "I'm hungry" okay, so what do you want to eat. He will survey the whole pantry and fridge for what feels like an eternity trying to pick. Will almost always ask for whatever we do NOT have. I give choices... none of those will do. Sometimes I get frustrated and say "fine then nothing" and he'll pick one thing. Then after I put it in a bowl or whatever for him, he'll decide he won't eat it.

 

He also won't eat at the table. My DH tries to force it, but I don't. I want SOME peace while eating. However, we also spent several thousands of dollars for new carpeting. So he usually eats on the floor in the kitchen. That of course leads to a happy dog and a very angry child half the time Not to mention, that causes a whole other issue bc I have to have a special dog too. Can only eat RX food or he gets bladder stones and needs $2000 surgeries.

[smartyjones]

oh suzan - i know you posted in seriousness but i have laughed so hard at these posts -- from the peeing to the ex-chef with toothpick sandwiches! thanks for such good fun!

unfortunately, i have nothing good to say. i do think it's related to pandas. i, too, am tired of cooking for my family. last night i wanted broccoli and rice, but what would everyone else eat?

[smartyjones]

We had a huge blowout at our house today. DD8 is having no appetite and it has manifested in her ordering me around about food. She whines and begs for food but won't agree to anything and finally just orders me to bring her something, anything! So I bring her something and she says she does not want it and whines and cries. I blow up and say "EAT IT ANYWAY and stay away from me". She comes back after forcing herself to eat it and says that "I made her feel small" by treating her like that.

Susan

 

 

i know i'm an annoying broken record, but have you tried explosive child repeating in situations like that? at that time, you are not trying to teach better manners, etc - you are just trying to get through the blow up with everyone intact. so she whining and begging, you - "you don't like it?", "you want something else?" "please can you have something", "you need something different" -- just flatly repeat what she's saying to see if you can get to a point that you can get some movement without the blow up.

Edited May 28, 2010 by smartyjones

[smartyjones]

I ask him over and over WHY CANT YOU LIFT THE SEAT??? He tells me he can't remember. PANDAS???? Who knows. I think just lazyiness.

 

 

i think it's pandas - my son does it with other things -- you can't remember you not supposed to write on the wall? you forgot hitting your brother isn't acceptable?

[Kay]

SmartyJones, I had the broccoli and rice last night!!!!! hubby had shrimp in his and daughter had gluten free chicken nuggets, easy in the oven stuff. I know all about the different meal stuff, not only because of the pandas but because we both my daughter and I have been dealing with food Intolerances for years (sure it all had to do with Pandas) I can usually get my hubby and I on similar meals and sometimes all 3 of us do eat the same if it is something like chicken and potato. Just wanted to let you know the broccoli and rice was good and I had it for breakfast also....hope you get yours soon!

Kay

 

oh suzan - i know you posted in seriousness but i have laughed so hard at these posts -- from the peeing to the ex-chef with toothpick sandwiches! thanks for such good fun!

unfortunately, i have nothing good to say. i do think it's related to pandas. i, too, am tired of cooking for my family. last night i wanted broccoli and rice, but what would everyone else eat?

[EAMom]

At the last pandas melt down my dd said that everything tasted like paint

she stopped eating she is 5.. that scared me so bad.. but she would drink stuff so that helped

 

Altered taste sensation is definitely a PANDAS symptom. We had it briefly as part of turning back the pages with our last IVIG. Dd would say "my taste buds aren't working" and "things don't taste right." Diana P.'s son also had it as part of his worst PANDAS episode.

Edited May 28, 2010 by EAMom

[Doug]

I just had to reply, fixit, I am married to an ex-chef who spends like we are millionairs. If the recipe calls for some spice you can only get in China, by golly he needs to fine it.

 

Having a chef in the house only means the sandwiches won't be eaten unless they are toothpicked and cut in quarters, and the veggies are artfully cut into flowers.

 

CP

OH can I have him for a while????? My cooking is just the same ol same ol so everyone will eat!

 

just wanted to make you feel better..

.i don't eat anymore... i am tired of thinking about what to buy .what to cook..will they eat enough...what is the snack...they wont eat this, that....

i wont let them have barely any processed foods.....

when i become a miillionaire...i will have a chef who will cook orgainic...

i'll still clean the toilets and what not....but for the last six months, one of the few things i say outloud is

i am tired of anything relating to food...as the problem is you need to eat all day...so it just goes from one meal to the next....

 

going to bed....having a glass of wine...not food

 

I have to vent to try to stay sane tonight, thanks for listening....

 

We had a huge blowout at our house today. DD8 is having no appetite and it has manifested in her ordering me around about food. She whines and begs for food but won't agree to anything and finally just orders me to bring her something, anything! So I bring her something and she says she does not want it and whines and cries. I blow up and say "EAT IT ANYWAY and stay away from me". She comes back after forcing herself to eat it and says that "I made her feel small" by treating her like that. My Mom is upset because of how dd is treating me and taking advantage of me. I am totally confused about what is pandas and what is my own lack of parenting skills. They seeem to have lost all ability to say thank you or please or be helpful at all when it comes to food.

 

We don't have a good meal time routine from a lifetime of picky eaters, different food needs and pandas behavior symptoms and different coping skills.

 

She's decided she want to be a vegetarian so no more animals are killed and expects me to know all of a sudden how to feed her even when she has no idea what she wants to eat. She's always been my good eater and would eat anything I offer. This is very new and I believe it's pandas rearing it's ugly head. She has no taste for food but is hungry. Same deal with my younger dd who also goes out of her way to bring me her garbage to throw away instead of just putting it in the garbage or bring me her plate instead of just putting it in the sink. She's a hoarder and I think it's her way of trying to get rid of it without having to do it herself. I think I may lose my mind.

 

I'm a slave in the kitchen who can't please anyone. I told them today that many families cook one meal and you eat what is there or go hungry and they think that sounds like child abuse. They cried and cried and by the end I have no idea why they were crying. I got dd8 to make a list of all the foods she would eat so at least I can go grocery shopping and start teaching her how to cook for herself or at least know what is in the house so she can give me asuggestion on what to eat. I am making food constantly from the time we get home until they go to bed. I can't take it any more. Things have got to change and I'm scared I won't be successful.

 

Susan

[CSP]

PRESENTATION!! PRESENTATION!!

 

That's what my husband says about food.

 

Last year he ran (unpaid mind you) our local concession stand for the BabeRuth baseball league. I about died when he corrected a poor volunteer mom on how to set the top bun onto a pork BBQ sandwich. It had to be gently placed to the side of a heaping scoop of pork BBQ. If he could have he would have toasted the bun. Poor woman she sent chills up my husbands spine when she smooshed the top bun on the pork BBQ so all the pork oozed out the sides.

 

I could only put my head in my hands and shake my head.

 

OH and the customers didn't help... their eyeballs bugged out of their heads when they saw this sandwich. They would tell my husband they couldn't wait until their son's played on that field just so they could get his pork BBQ. Bloated his head even more.

 

My husband laughed at me all the way to the bank, raising over 10 grand for the league.

 

Doug, all you have to do is stay out of the kitchen while he is cooking, and eat his meal as if it were your last.

 

I want him back when the kids are grown, cuz I ain't touching a spoon unless it's shoveling something in my mouth.

 

CP

[Fixit]

Part of me says..send him on over

the other part is concerned about the price of spice in CHina....(not tea)

Always something

 

I just had to reply, fixit, I am married to an ex-chef who spends like we are millionairs. If the recipe calls for some spice you can only get in China, by golly he needs to fine it.

 

Having a chef in the house only means the sandwiches won't be eaten unless they are toothpicked and cut in quarters, and the veggies are artfully cut into flowers.

 

CP

[Suzan]

i know i'm an annoying broken record, but have you tried explosive child repeating in situations like that? at that time, you are not trying to teach better manners, etc - you are just trying to get through the blow up with everyone intact. so she whining and begging, you - "you don't like it?", "you want something else?" "please can you have something", "you need something different" -- just flatly repeat what she's saying to see if you can get to a point that you can get some movement without the blow up.

 

I have read it and I was thinking about it last night when I realized I was wanting to fix the problem as I would with "normal" children. I just knew it would not work. I do always forget your suggestion of repeating back. I am going to try really hard to remember that.

 

This morning, she woke up, came downstairs and made her own toast AND put everything away. She just asked for help spreading the butter. Now wouldn't it be wonderful if she could do that every morning?!

 

Susan

[CSP]

Now you know why I do the cooking Good thing I'm not married to Marco Polo, ay. (The voyages to China just to get the goodies.)

 

Except on Father's Day and his B-day... I let him cook, he say's it's his day and he wants the food to be cooked following a recipe... not the way I cook... I DUMP!!!!!!

 

CP

 

 

 

Part of me says..send him on over

the other part is concerned about the price of spice in CHina....(not tea)

Always something

 

I just had to reply, fixit, I am married to an ex-chef who spends like we are millionairs. If the recipe calls for some spice you can only get in China, by golly he needs to fine it.

 

Having a chef in the house only means the sandwiches won't be eaten unless they are toothpicked and cut in quarters, and the veggies are artfully cut into flowers.

 

CP

[lynn]

Interesting about the bathroom thing though. DS was peeing on the seat constantly for a few months. I tried yelling, punishment, and guilt (will I never learn?) Finally I told him that I never wash the toilet seat (this was lying BTW) and when he sat down on the seat, he was sitting in his own urine. So I let his OCD contamination fear battle with his PANDAS forgetfullness? rage? whatever it was, and OCD lost, so the toilet seat is dry. Don't know how this pans out in the final analysis -- was it situation based good parenting or evil manipulation that will come back to haunt me? However, it did enable me to continue living in our house.

Edited May 28, 2010 by lynn