How do you deal with the others

[lele]

My son's loudly throat clearing and neck jerking plus arm lifting were flared up recently, It is so noticeable. Yesterday we had dinner in the Cici's Pizza, I noticed a man tried to let his son look at my son and laugh at him when he has uncontrolled tics, especially when he has that bad neck jerk and throat sound, they just made face on him. I was so hurt but I don't know how to face this. So how do your deal with people who notice the tics and joke on the kid.

 

 

Any suggestions/insight is appreciated!

 

Thanks!

[Chemar]

(((Lele)))

 

that is so hard isnt it

 

we taught my son early on that when it was strangers pointing etc to try to ignore

 

that man should be ashamed of himself!

 

in some situations, at school or other social environments, my son would be proactive and simply tell the people that he has a neurological disorder that makes him tic. sometimes they would have the grace to be ashamed and apologize. sometimes they became even more cruel.

 

that sadly is life.

 

the very best way to handle it I feel is to instill compassion and caring in your child while gently educating him that the world has its share of callous and insensitive people, and that it is truly best to ignore those as much as possible

 

I know it hurts Lele. I would spend many hours crying for my son.

 

but honestly, I see the kind of young man he has become and I agree with him that all these things have made him a stronger and better person. he learned early to deal with the "unfair" aspects of life and so he "rolls with the punches" much better now

[lele]

(((Lele)))

 

that is so hard isnt it

 

we taught my son early on that when it was strangers pointing etc to try to ignore

 

that man should be ashamed of himself!

 

in some situations, at school or other social environments, my son would be proactive and simply tell the people that he has a neurological disorder that makes him tic. sometimes they would have the grace to be ashamed and apologize. sometimes they became even more cruel.

 

that sadly is life.

 

the very best way to handle it I feel is to instill compassion and caring in your child while gently educating him that the world has its share of callous and insensitive people, and that it is truly best to ignore those as much as possible

 

I know it hurts Lele. I would spend many hours crying for my son.

 

but honestly, I see the kind of young man he has become and I agree with him that all these things have made him a stronger and better person. he learned early to deal with the "unfair" aspects of life and so he "rolls with the punches" much better now

You are right, Cheri, the best way is let him ignore it, even though I can't really ignore it at all. Life is too tough.

 

"but honestly, I see the kind of young man he has become and I agree with him that all these things have made him a stronger and better person." Thanks for encourage me, I know my son will be stronger too.

 

I watched Like Eagles (Christian Music Video) with Nick Vujicic with my son and try to let him know if you are mentally strong, no one can hurt you.

[Chemar]

Lele, I so understand how you are feeling

 

not sure if you have ever heard "He's My Son" by mark Schultz

It's about a father with a sick son

 

back when my son was in crisis, this song used to cause me to go thru deep emotions

 

again, when I look back and see how my son has matured and overcome the many challenges of life with TS, I can only say "thank you God for hearing this mother's prayers for her son!"

 

here is the song (be sure to have the kleenex handy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8bvA3M63G4

 

I'm down on my knees again tonight

I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right

See there is a boy that needs your help

I've done all that i can do myself

His mother is tired

I'm sure you can understand

Each night as he sleeps

She goes in to hold his hand

And she tries not to cry

As the tears fill up her eyes

 

 

Can you hear me?

Am I getting through tonight?

Can you see him?

Can you make him feel all right?

If you can hear me

Let me take his place somehow

See he's not just anyone

He's my son

 

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep

I dream of the boy he'd like to be

I try to be strong and see him through

But God who he needs right now is You

Let him grow old

Live life without this fear

What would I be

Living without him here

He's so tired and he's scared

Let him know that You're there

 

 

 

Can you hear me?

Am I getting through tonight?

Can you see him?

Can you make him feel all right?

If you can hear me

Let me take his place somehow

See he's not just anyone

He's my son

 

Can you hear me?

Can you see him?

Please don't leave him

He's my son

[ilovedogs]

Ok, Cheri said it all the best so I have nothing to add. Except to say that I am ashamed that a MAN(a parent, no less) would make fun of a child. I don't care what the child is doing, adults should know how to keep their comments to themselves. He needs a lesson in controlling his rude and inappropriate behavior!

 

That said, when kids ask my son why he does certain tics he just tells them they are tics. Sometimes when it's adults who ask him if he has something in his eye, he tells them he has allergies or tics....depends on the intrusiveness of the person, I guess! Also, he is really quick to notice others who tic and it has made him feel better that he knows he's not the only one. Can you find a support group or do you know of anyone who has a child who tics whom you can introduce your son to? My son has met CSP's son and Carolyn N's son(both are here on the board) and it has helped him to know that he isn't alone.

 

Bonnie

[lele]

(((Lele)))

 

that is so hard isnt it

 

we taught my son early on that when it was strangers pointing etc to try to ignore

 

that man should be ashamed of himself!

 

in some situations, at school or other social environments, my son would be proactive and simply tell the people that he has a neurological disorder that makes him tic. sometimes they would have the grace to be ashamed and apologize. sometimes they became even more cruel.

 

that sadly is life.

 

the very best way to handle it I feel is to instill compassion and caring in your child while gently educating him that the world has its share of callous and insensitive people, and that it is truly best to ignore those as much as possible

 

I know it hurts Lele. I would spend many hours crying for my son.

 

but honestly, I see the kind of young man he has become and I agree with him that all these things have made him a stronger and better person. he learned early to deal with the "unfair" aspects of life and so he "rolls with the punches" much better now

You are right, Cheri, the best way is let him ignore it, even though I can't really ignore it at all. Life is too tough.

 

"but honestly, I see the kind of young man he has become and I agree with him that all these things have made him a stronger and better person." Thanks for encourage me, I know my son will be stronger too.

 

I watched Like Eagles (Christian Music Video) with Nick Vujicic with my son and try to let him know if you are mentally strong, no one can hurt you.

Can't stop crying when listen this son, It definitely says EXACTLY how I feel.

[lele]

Ok, Cheri said it all the best so I have nothing to add. Except to say that I am ashamed that a MAN(a parent, no less) would make fun of a child. I don't care what the child is doing, adults should know how to keep their comments to themselves. He needs a lesson in controlling his rude and inappropriate behavior!

 

That said, when kids ask my son why he does certain tics he just tells them they are tics. Sometimes when it's adults who ask him if he has something in his eye, he tells them he has allergies or tics....depends on the intrusiveness of the person, I guess! Also, he is really quick to notice others who tic and it has made him feel better that he knows he's not the only one. Can you find a support group or do you know of anyone who has a child who tics whom you can introduce your son to? My son has met CSP's son and Carolyn N's son(both are here on the board) and it has helped him to know that he isn't alone.

 

Bonnie

Thanks for helping me, Bonnie, I really wish we could meet some families whoes kids have TS, I really need a support group to help me out, but we don't have a chepron of TSA in Virginia.

 

It has been a year since my son shown his first sign of TS, I still can't accept it well, shame on myself. If I am not strong, who can help my poor boy!

[ilovedogs]

Ok, Cheri said it all the best so I have nothing to add. Except to say that I am ashamed that a MAN(a parent, no less) would make fun of a child. I don't care what the child is doing, adults should know how to keep their comments to themselves. He needs a lesson in controlling his rude and inappropriate behavior!

 

That said, when kids ask my son why he does certain tics he just tells them they are tics. Sometimes when it's adults who ask him if he has something in his eye, he tells them he has allergies or tics....depends on the intrusiveness of the person, I guess! Also, he is really quick to notice others who tic and it has made him feel better that he knows he's not the only one. Can you find a support group or do you know of anyone who has a child who tics whom you can introduce your son to? My son has met CSP's son and Carolyn N's son(both are here on the board) and it has helped him to know that he isn't alone.

 

Bonnie

Thanks for helping me, Bonnie, I really wish we could meet some families whoes kids have TS, I really need a support group to help me out, but we don't have a chepron of TSA in Virginia.

 

It has been a year since my son shown his first sign of TS, I still can't accept it well, shame on myself. If I am not strong, who can help my poor boy!

Where in VA are you??? CSP is in VA, right down the road from my mom's house. I live in AZ so I get together with CSP when I go back to visit my mom. Small world, seriously!!!

 

And, I understand about accepting it! My ds is waxing majorly right now and it's bugging the heck out of me! It's been well over 2 years for us, too!

[patty]

lele,

 

i am so mad that man poked fun at your son! i know how you feel. i think one of the things that makes tics/TS so hard is that it is hard for the parents to see & accept. i spent many sleepless nite crying and feeling ashame of myself for the lack of acceptance. i just pray & hope that you find something that help w/your son's tics and keep it minimal & not bothersome. some people are just mean & ignorant!!

 

pat

[lele]

Ok, Cheri said it all the best so I have nothing to add. Except to say that I am ashamed that a MAN(a parent, no less) would make fun of a child. I don't care what the child is doing, adults should know how to keep their comments to themselves. He needs a lesson in controlling his rude and inappropriate behavior!

 

That said, when kids ask my son why he does certain tics he just tells them they are tics. Sometimes when it's adults who ask him if he has something in his eye, he tells them he has allergies or tics....depends on the intrusiveness of the person, I guess! Also, he is really quick to notice others who tic and it has made him feel better that he knows he's not the only one. Can you find a support group or do you know of anyone who has a child who tics whom you can introduce your son to? My son has met CSP's son and Carolyn N's son(both are here on the board) and it has helped him to know that he isn't alone.

 

Bonnie

Thanks for helping me, Bonnie, I really wish we could meet some families whoes kids have TS, I really need a support group to help me out, but we don't have a chepron of TSA in Virginia.

 

It has been a year since my son shown his first sign of TS, I still can't accept it well, shame on myself. If I am not strong, who can help my poor boy!

Where in VA are you??? CSP is in VA, right down the road from my mom's house. I live in AZ so I get together with CSP when I go back to visit my mom. Small world, seriously!!!

 

And, I understand about accepting it! My ds is waxing majorly right now and it's bugging the heck out of me! It's been well over 2 years for us, too!

 

That is amazing! I wish I could have some neighborhood can share the deep sorrow with. I live in Chester VA, 15 mins from downtown Richmond. None of the people here even hear about TS. Sigh.

[lele]

lele,

 

i am so mad that man poked fun at your son! i know how you feel. i think one of the things that makes tics/TS so hard is that it is hard for the parents to see & accept. i spent many sleepless nite crying and feeling ashame of myself for the lack of acceptance. i just pray & hope that you find something that help w/your son's tics and keep it minimal & not bothersome. some people are just mean & ignorant!!

 

pat

Thank Pat for understanding me, I did spent a lot sleepless nites crying and feeling ashame of myself too, for the lack of acceptance, I blamed myself to death, I didn't take good care about my little boy, it was me made him suffering from this bad devil. The most painful part is I couldn't find a way to help him shorter the waxing period until now.