Got irritated by my son's smelling tic

[faith]

thanks lynsey,

your experience and advice has helped very much, especially the part about how your friend handled the issue, it makes me feel more confident about my line of thinking. thanks again.

 

Faith

[Chemar]

we have always been totally open about my son's disorders and found it to be a positive approach to take based on reaction of his peers, teachers and others he comes in contact with. altho he has had his fair share of unpleasantness from others (more so sadly from adults than kids ) the overall response has been a good and understanding one

 

he had a lot more problems at school when we were still all "in the dark" re what was going on with him as there was much misunderstanding from teachers and other kids

[lynsey]

I definitely feel that it is a good idea to let the teaching staff/principal know about your

child's condition -(and I did) -, especially if you feel the teacher may misunderstand his or her

behaviours or tics and think it is just a "problem" child or a child trying to be funny

or get attention. But I always asked the teaching staff to respect my child's right

to confidentiality, and not disclose to other students.

 

The approach my friend had was to hold a general assembly in the school

and talk to the students about her sons' disorder. She felt it was necessary to help her son and

I would never judge her, or say my way was better than hers. We all as parents

do what we feel is best for our child. My feeling was that her approach highlighted

him as "different", when all they desperately want to do is blend in and be like the other kids.

 

I'm not saying this would happen to any other child, but a very strange turn of events in her

situation was that after the school staff and students bent over backwards to understand and make allowances

for his many behaviours, he started to take advantage of this and really became a problem for

the school. Even the son admitted he liked to take advantage of this special treatment.

Again, this was one case, every case is different, every parent has to follow a road that he or she

feels will best help their child, so I am not saying one way is better or worse.....just telling you

my experiences.

[Chemar]

oh I absolutely agree there Linsey

 

having a big announcement that way is not what I would advocate for.

 

we left it up to our son to tell any of his classmates etc and we had his permission to discuss with teachers...which obviously became a necessity once we had him on the 504

 

my son actually abhors the term "special needs" and refuses to ever use it.

The approach he took was to simply say on an as needed basis "I have Tourette Syndrome" and then explain tics to anyone who needed the understanding of why he was making sounds and movements

 

Once he got to high school he no longer felt the need to explain to his peers as they really didnt seem to notice or if they did they did not comment.

 

we found the middle school years the hardest in terms of peers

and sadly

private school kids were far more judgmental and teasing/bullying than he found when he switched to public school in 7th grade

[faith]

I think bottom line is that it is all relative to how mild/severe the child's issues are. Today, in this world, many kids have issues of different kinds, and I'm willing to bet most are concentrating on their own issues or problems or academics (kids and parents alike) and our kids that have some tics that come and go and can more often than not be considered mild or under the radar, are probably better off not making a production out of the fact that they have tourettes or tic disorder, or whatever, for I totally agree, that it could open up a can of worms in terms of the child being put under a magnifying glass. I know for a fact my son would be mortified if we were to disclose that he "had something". We have the 504 in place, but he isn't even aware of it, basically the only thing he needs is more time to finsish classwork and tests. So I am fine with teachers and staff knowing, but I also have asked this to remain confidential for my son's sake. Right now, despite the tics, he is a normal, social child with friends, and your all around pain in the ###### as most boys are! His teacher has commented to me that even tho he does make a few grunts in class, no one says anything to him and she says he is well liked and thinks his personality goes a long way to almost make it a non-issue so far. I pray this will continue as he gets older and enters the mid school years with other kids being just as non-chalant about it. I would not want to take any of that away from him. I do understand however that some cases are a bit more obvious and when things are not working in the present way, then yes, it would probably be more beneficial to be more open about it. Unfortunately, our world is not as kind as we would hope it to be. I am learning more and more that we all have issues, and I don't want my son to have any hangups about himself. This ts issue is our Cross, yes, but I am praying he will just have to carry it and never be crucified for it.

 

Faith