Chemar Posted November 23, 2007 Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 I really do want to stress again here that this forum is made up of members and with *no* proffessional representation and so I really strongly urge all who are being seriously plagued by any thoughts of abusing a child to please find a good and caring psychologist who can help you with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If there is even the slightest chance that you could act out your "fantasies" PLEASE seek help. Here, people can discuss what they are experiencing, and it is good to be able to release the feelings and exchange views, but it doesnt compensate for proper treatment, especially if their may be *any* risk to a child. I would again like to point people to Psych Central, which is far better equipped for discussions of this kind. Here at Latitudes/ACN, the focus is far more on alternative treatments for childhood neurological disorders, rather than on psychotherapy. here again is the link to some useful websites, including Psych Central and its forums http://www.latitudes.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=1963 I hope this info will be helpful to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanjay Agrawal Posted December 11, 2007 Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Hello Chemar, This thread really made absorbing reading. And kudos to you for handling so sensitively the issues raised by fellow posters. As moderator on another forum, I know how difficult a task this can be at times. Your observations about CBT, and alternative techniques such as meditation, positive affirmations, et al (http://www.latitudes.org/forums/index.php?...=758&st=15#), are in alignment with the current thinking that OCD is an out-and-out chemical imbalance, and therefore a clinical condition. My views are that the medications being prescribed for treatment have side-effects that far outweigh the benefics. As counsellor, I have experienced that CBT and alternative techniques do have an upper hand in some cases, if not all. I have recorded my ideas and thoughts in my blog, perhaps interested readers might wish to browse through them. Cheers and best regards, Sanjay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tellmethatyouralright Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I am so realived that people have the same things ocurring to them. So now I have thoughts on am "I a homosexual?" constantly because I think the reason why is I have not actually be in a long and real relationship and at my age those things usually don't happen. I am in my middle teens, but by the time I was 11 or 12 I knew I liked guys , I knew I did not desire girls. In the past I have OCD on many other things. I just wish my mom would help me or I could better explain it to her. I would really love to have a boyfriend, have a good year in highschool, and get these thoughts out of my head. Is there any cure? Like some kind of meditation or something? I appreciate any advice. I just dont want to think about this BS as long as some of you had to endure. I feel for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chemar Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hi so sorry to hear what you are going through I would again like to recommend the forums at PsychCentral as being far better equipped to deal with psycotherapy than we are. They also have free live chat sessions with professionals who may be able to help http://forums.psychcentral.com/ hope things work out for you Chemar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tellmethatyouralright Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Hiso sorry to hear what you are going through I would again like to recommend the forums at PsychCentral as being far better equipped to deal with psycotherapy than we are. They also have free live chat sessions with professionals who may be able to help http://forums.psychcentral.com/ hope things work out for you Chemar Thanks. I really appreciate the help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needinghelp Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Hello. I am new here in this group. However, I too have been shocked at how many people feel the same way I do. I have been terrified many times over thoughts that I have had. Like many of you, I have had thoughts of guilt over thinking sexual thoughts pertaining to young children. The thing is, usually the thoughts that I have aren't even actual thoughts. I can see and be around children with very little or no sexual arousal, but cannot however get over the feelings of guilt and shame that come from worrying that I could be of harm to them. Having the potential within myself to be of harm to a child is of course, taunting, but possibly just as horrifying is the thought of ever wanting to do anything sexual with a young child. Sometimes I test myself to make sure that I'm not attracted to it, by thinking sexual thoughts about children on purpose, to see if it gives me sexual arousal or an erection. On very rare occasion, I will experience a slight erection at the thought of engaging in a sexual act with a child; but at the same time I will experience EXTREMELY powerful amounts of guilt and disgust over my reaction to thinking that way. I would assume that it is in human nature, to have a physical reaction to thinking sexual thoughts of any nature, but it drives me insane nonetheless. I was sort of wondering if anybody else experienced any physical arousal when thinking the thoughts that they are so worried about. I would like to know that I am not alone in that. Although I do experience these compulsive thoughts and have the occasion reaction of an erection, I also feel that I know inside that I would never want to be involved with a child at all sexually. I identify as a homosexual male. I have had urges of sexual nature for males for as long as I can remember, adult males in particular, and the amount of arousal and personal satisfaction that I achieve from thinking of males my own age or older is very strong. I feel no guilt in regards to those feelings. If on occasion I have feelings for females my own age as well, (which very rarely happens,) I also embrace those thoughts as being completely healthy and normal. It's when I get so disgusted by the thoughts of doing sexual things with kids, and getting even the slightest semblance of physical arousal at the thoughts that my mind tortures me with, that I begin to cry, hate myself deeply and seriously consider suicide. I too, wish that I could just feel normal again. I have long periods of times which I am not plagued by these thoughts, but when they hit, for the amount of time that they do hit, they hit me very hard. I feel certain, CERTAIN that I would rather die than engage in a sexual act with a child. I also know that if I ever felt so much as remotely attracted to a child, and achieved satisfaction from that attraction, then I would most certainly commit suicide. Furthermore, the thought of ever actually ENGAGING in a sexual act with a child alone, makes me feel disgusting and sick. Which is partially how I know that I could never ACTUALLY do anything like that. Like many of you, as I have collected, I do however feel stuck in a pattern of thinking thoughts that I find to be disgusting, which makes me feel horrible about myself as person. Please get back to me. I second guess myself all the time. The slightest thoughts can seriously disturb me. There was a time recently when this young boy's sister, (or the young boy himself, referring to himself as his sister,) asked me via myspace to commit a sexual act with them. I of course said no, but attempted to tell the boy that if he was having sexual thoughts for other males then he could talk to me about it. I wanted to help him come to terms with himself because I didn't necessarily believe that he was indeed his "sister." He was somebody who when I was in the 8th grade, he was in the 6th grade and I found him to be attractive. Now I am in the 9th grade and he is in the 7th grade, but still I wondered if I was just telling myself that I wanted to help him come to terms with himself, when really I was trying to "lure" him in or something. I just feel so dark. In the end, I told his sister, (or him, whoever the case,) that I would not do anything sexual with them, and advised them not to try and tempt people sexual online or anywhere else, because there are a lot of sick people out there who look to hurt them. I feel disgusting. Thinking about the email I got from him, and the arousal that I did at first get from it, (even though he is in the 7th grade and I am in the 9th, which may not seem like that HUGE of an age gap but to me it is,) I just feel completely sick and disgusting. If somebody could PLEASE help me that would mean the world to me. I really REALLY want to stop feeling like this. I might talk to my counselor at school about it today if she is there. It's difficult to talk about an issue like that because I know that I will be wondering if deep down she is wondering if I am a monster or something, which very well may also be what some of you are wondering right now. While I was sexually active once when I was 11 with a 9 year old, and again when I was 12 with an 8 year old, (both males,) I am soon going to be turning 15, and can assure you that basically since turning 13, for the last 2 years, I have been trying to seek help for how horrible I feel over this issue. I've called suicide hot-lines, talked to friends online, and talked to the occasional trusted friend on the phone in regards to this issue. I can also assure you, that for the last 2 years, upon realizing what I actually did, I have felt genuinely horrible for the things that I did with those 2 kids. I have tortured myself with it almost every day for 1 1/2 years, and off and on for the last 6 months or so. I feel intense guilt. I feel awkward when around kids, although like I said, not sexually aroused. It is when I play out fantasies to "test" myself, that I begin to feel the slightest bit of arousal which as a male, of course, reaches my penis. It sickens me. I've cried about it tonight a lot. I feel quite suicidal over this issue, but am passionate about not letting it end my life. I have hope that I can get over this for the future. I only hope that it doesn't actually mean that I am a "monster," or molester/pedophile. Or that I may one day be one. I would honestly rather end my life. Thank you for reading. Sorry if this is too wordy. I wanted to be as accurate in describing my situation as possible. Please offer me whatever insight/help/advice that you possibly can. I'll do my best to get back to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chemar Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 I would strongly recommend that you seek the help of a professional on this. the board here is not equipped to deal with issues such as this I would again like to point to the Forums at PsychCentral where more help is available in the form of peer support as well as live chats with professionals again I stress that anyone having or acting on sexual impulses toward children should seek immediate professional help. Even if you would not act on these impulses, the torment they are causing you is reason enough to see a therapist/counsellor etc hoping you find peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannaera Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms. Sorry for the Sexual Thoughts You Get. But there is ONLY One way whic can Completely Destroy those thoughts it is Revealed in HOLY BIBLE. God so loved this world HE gave his only Son JESUS Christ to Die for our sins all who believe in him Shall not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE. So Jesus in Matthews Spoke abt Sexual Desires of man and He said it is sin. and we need to over come this sin. Many People Try to do but they fail instantly. SOLUTION: ASK JESUS for Forgiveness for our sins which we've done, Because HE DIED for Our Sins on Cross. HE ROSE FROM DEATH. Thus, He will Forgive our sins. Then Invite Jesus Christ to Come into your Heart. When u Put faith in JESUS. Holy Spirit Starts working in you. Holy Spirit is Voice of Lord instructs you when u r Tempted to do sin by satan deceiver. ALL WE NEED TO DO IS PUT FAITH IN JESUS. That GOD raised This JESUS FROM DEATH On THIRD DAY. Because God Loves you. He take cares of your needs. He is successfully Saving Many who believed ON HIS SON. There is No Difference in any MAN. all belongs to this WORLD. SO HE GAVE HIS SON AS A SACRIFICE FOR ALL OUR SINS. Like Lust, EVil Thoughts, ADultery, Jealous,Envy.Ego, ALL Kinds of Sins will Be Forgiven BY JESUS SACRFICE. JUST PUT FAITH. in Some days all Evil thoughts will vanish Like a MAGIC. and WE will be like a NEW CREATION. WE will see this WORLD With a NEW SPIRIT. ALL THE ABOVE Things have i Experinced and Shared with you. BE of Good cheer says JESUS. He have OVER COME This WORLD. SO we can. GOD BLESS YOU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannaera Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 I am so realived that people have the same things ocurring to them. So now I have thoughts on am "I a homosexual?" constantly because I think the reason why is I have not actually be in a long and real relationship and at my age those things usually don't happen. I am in my middle teens, but by the time I was 11 or 12 I knew I liked guys , I knew I did not desire girls. In the past I have OCD on many other things. I just wish my mom would help me or I could better explain it to her. I would really love to have a boyfriend, have a good year in highschool, and get these thoughts out of my head. Is there any cure? Like some kind of meditation or something? I appreciate any advice. I just dont want to think about this BS as long as some of you had to endure. I feel for you. Greetings .......There is ONLY One way which can Completely Destroy those thoughts it is Revealed in HOLY BIBLE. God so loved this world HE gave his only Son JESUS Christ to Die for our sins all who believe in him Shall not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE. So Jesus in Matthews Spoke abt Sexual Desires of man and He said it is sin. and we need to over come this sin. Many People Try to do but they fail instantly. SOLUTION: ASK JESUS for Forgiveness for our sins which we've done, Because HE DIED for Our Sins on Cross. HE ROSE FROM DEATH. Thus, He will Forgive our sins. Then Invite Jesus Christ to Come into your Heart. When u Put faith in JESUS. Holy Spirit Starts working in you. Holy Spirit is Voice of Lord instructs you when u r Tempted to do sin by satan deceiver. ALL WE NEED TO DO IS PUT FAITH IN JESUS. That GOD raised This JESUS FROM DEATH On THIRD DAY. Because God Loves you. He take cares of your needs. He is successfully Saving Many who believed ON HIS SON. There is No Difference in any MAN. all belongs to this WORLD. SO HE GAVE HIS SON AS A SACRIFICE FOR ALL OUR SINS. Like Lust, EVil Thoughts, ADultery, Jealous,Envy.Ego, ALL Kinds of Sins will Be Forgiven BY JESUS SACRFICE. JUST PUT FAITH. in Some days all Evil thoughts will vanish Like a MAGIC. and WE will be like a NEW CREATION. WE will see this WORLD With a NEW SPIRIT. ALL THE ABOVE Things have i Experinced and Shared with you. BE of Good cheer says JESUS. He have OVER COME This WORLD. SO we can. GOD BLESS YOU. Bash EVERY Vain thoughts IN THE NAME OF JESUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannaera Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 I have felt exactly the same as you, I dont understand why its happening to me and it causes me so much pain that I have wanted to end my life aswell. I dont know what to do and I'm really scared. I want to get on with my life but I have this hanging over me and interrupting my thoughts. Please tell me if there is anything that I can do to make it stop. Greetings .......There is ONLY One way which can Completely Destroy those thoughts it is Revealed in HOLY BIBLE. God so loved this world HE gave his only Son JESUS Christ to Die for our sins all who believe in him Shall not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE. So Jesus in Matthews Spoke abt Sexual Desires of man and He said it is sin. and we need to over come this sin. Many People Try to do but they fail instantly. SOLUTION: ASK JESUS for Forgiveness for our sins which we've done, Because HE DIED for Our Sins on Cross. HE ROSE FROM DEATH. Thus, He will Forgive our sins. Then Invite Jesus Christ to Come into your Heart. When u Put faith in JESUS. Holy Spirit Starts working in you. Holy Spirit is Voice of Lord instructs you when u r Tempted to do sin by satan deceiver. ALL WE NEED TO DO IS PUT FAITH IN JESUS. That GOD raised This JESUS FROM DEATH On THIRD DAY. Because God Loves you. He take cares of your needs. He is successfully Saving Many who believed ON HIS SON. There is No Difference in any MAN. all belongs to this WORLD. SO HE GAVE HIS SON AS A SACRIFICE FOR ALL OUR SINS. Like Lust, EVil Thoughts, ADultery, Jealous,Envy.Ego, ALL Kinds of Sins will Be Forgiven BY JESUS SACRFICE. JUST PUT FAITH. in Some days all Evil thoughts will vanish Like a MAGIC. and WE will be like a NEW CREATION. WE will see this WORLD With a NEW SPIRIT. ALL THE ABOVE Things have i Experinced and Shared with you. BE of Good cheer says JESUS. He have OVER COME This WORLD. SO we can. GOD BLESS YOU. Bash EVERY Vain thoughts IN THE NAME OF JESUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chemar Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 Hello Kannaeara and thank you for sharing here. I do just want to remind you though that many people who suffer with OCD and other neuro-psychiatric illnesses may be people of deep faith. Many of these illnesses are genetic, and also related to CHEMICAL IMBALANCES in the brain The people opening up on this thread are speaking of *thoughts* not actions. I am a Christian too, and I firmly do believe in Jesus Christ as Lord of everything. And I do believe in His healing power. It is also clearly evident from the many people of faith who suffer illness that He may not always heal the affliction, even when He heals our hearts and saves our souls sometimes, nomatter how we pray and beg for total healing, it does not come and one has to also use the medical or natural means to help the illness, while never ceasing to turn to God for the spiritual health that only He can give. Diabetics suffer illness because they lack a chemical called insulin, and frequently need counseling on diet and lifestyle changes needed to stay healthier OCD sufferers need serotonin and/or other chemical adjustments in their brains along with psycho therapy and/or counseling to help them God hears all prayers but does not always answer with miraculous physical healing. Often His touch is felt in other ways. No less miraculous! I urge everyone to seek both spiritual and medical/psychiatric help for OCD. I would not want anyone reading here who HAS prayed and sought divine intervention and yet still struggles to have to suffer even more guilt than they are already burdened with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Lee Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Hello. I am new here in this group. However, I too have been shocked at how many people feel the same way I do.I have been terrified many times over thoughts that I have had. Like many of you, I have had thoughts of guilt over thinking sexual thoughts pertaining to young children. The thing is, usually the thoughts that I have aren't even actual thoughts. I can see and be around children with very little or no sexual arousal, but cannot however get over the feelings of guilt and shame that come from worrying that I could be of harm to them. Having the potential within myself to be of harm to a child is of course, taunting, but possibly just as horrifying is the thought of ever wanting to do anything sexual with a young child. Sometimes I test myself to make sure that I'm not attracted to it, by thinking sexual thoughts about children on purpose, to see if it gives me sexual arousal or an erection. On very rare occasion, I will experience a slight erection at the thought of engaging in a sexual act with a child; but at the same time I will experience EXTREMELY powerful amounts of guilt and disgust over my reaction to thinking that way. I would assume that it is in human nature, to have a physical reaction to thinking sexual thoughts of any nature, but it drives me insane nonetheless. I was sort of wondering if anybody else experienced any physical arousal when thinking the thoughts that they are so worried about. I would like to know that I am not alone in that. Although I do experience these compulsive thoughts and have the occasion reaction of an erection, I also feel that I know inside that I would never want to be involved with a child at all sexually. I identify as a homosexual male. I have had urges of sexual nature for males for as long as I can remember, adult males in particular, and the amount of arousal and personal satisfaction that I achieve from thinking of males my own age or older is very strong. I feel no guilt in regards to those feelings. If on occasion I have feelings for females my own age as well, (which very rarely happens,) I also embrace those thoughts as being completely healthy and normal. It's when I get so disgusted by the thoughts of doing sexual things with kids, and getting even the slightest semblance of physical arousal at the thoughts that my mind tortures me with, that I begin to cry, hate myself deeply and seriously consider suicide. I too, wish that I could just feel normal again. I have long periods of times which I am not plagued by these thoughts, but when they hit, for the amount of time that they do hit, they hit me very hard. I feel certain, CERTAIN that I would rather die than engage in a sexual act with a child. I also know that if I ever felt so much as remotely attracted to a child, and achieved satisfaction from that attraction, then I would most certainly commit suicide. Furthermore, the thought of ever actually ENGAGING in a sexual act with a child alone, makes me feel disgusting and sick. Which is partially how I know that I could never ACTUALLY do anything like that. Like many of you, as I have collected, I do however feel stuck in a pattern of thinking thoughts that I find to be disgusting, which makes me feel horrible about myself as person. Please get back to me. I second guess myself all the time. The slightest thoughts can seriously disturb me. There was a time recently when this young boy's sister, (or the young boy himself, referring to himself as his sister,) asked me via myspace to commit a sexual act with them. I of course said no, but attempted to tell the boy that if he was having sexual thoughts for other males then he could talk to me about it. I wanted to help him come to terms with himself because I didn't necessarily believe that he was indeed his "sister." He was somebody who when I was in the 8th grade, he was in the 6th grade and I found him to be attractive. Now I am in the 9th grade and he is in the 7th grade, but still I wondered if I was just telling myself that I wanted to help him come to terms with himself, when really I was trying to "lure" him in or something. I just feel so dark. In the end, I told his sister, (or him, whoever the case,) that I would not do anything sexual with them, and advised them not to try and tempt people sexual online or anywhere else, because there are a lot of sick people out there who look to hurt them. I feel disgusting. Thinking about the email I got from him, and the arousal that I did at first get from it, (even though he is in the 7th grade and I am in the 9th, which may not seem like that HUGE of an age gap but to me it is,) I just feel completely sick and disgusting. If somebody could PLEASE help me that would mean the world to me. I really REALLY want to stop feeling like this. I might talk to my counselor at school about it today if she is there. It's difficult to talk about an issue like that because I know that I will be wondering if deep down she is wondering if I am a monster or something, which very well may also be what some of you are wondering right now. While I was sexually active once when I was 11 with a 9 year old, and again when I was 12 with an 8 year old, (both males,) I am soon going to be turning 15, and can assure you that basically since turning 13, for the last 2 years, I have been trying to seek help for how horrible I feel over this issue. I've called suicide hot-lines, talked to friends online, and talked to the occasional trusted friend on the phone in regards to this issue. I can also assure you, that for the last 2 years, upon realizing what I actually did, I have felt genuinely horrible for the things that I did with those 2 kids. I have tortured myself with it almost every day for 1 1/2 years, and off and on for the last 6 months or so. I feel intense guilt. I feel awkward when around kids, although like I said, not sexually aroused. It is when I play out fantasies to "test" myself, that I begin to feel the slightest bit of arousal which as a male, of course, reaches my penis. It sickens me. I've cried about it tonight a lot. I feel quite suicidal over this issue, but am passionate about not letting it end my life. I have hope that I can get over this for the future. I only hope that it doesn't actually mean that I am a "monster," or molester/pedophile. Or that I may one day be one. I would honestly rather end my life. Thank you for reading. Sorry if this is too wordy. I wanted to be as accurate in describing my situation as possible. Please offer me whatever insight/help/advice that you possibly can. I'll do my best to get back to you. Hey needinghelp, I've suffered similar problems but I've thought about it alot in psychological and logical terms, and from reading justme07 and carolyn N's conversation on this board, I've further sealed and concluded my stance on the topic. I will summarize their conversation for you. Justme07 had a child, and begun thinking of sick thoughts about hurting her child. Carolyn N. explained that it is because our beautiful human minds are capable of preventing these actions from playing out, and these worrisome thoughts are actually the epitome of care. I believe that it is true. By being so fearful of something so dangerous, it means nothing other than your mind being overly active on useless things such as these. Mine is the same way under anxiety. Because we suffer from overly active minds, we bring in the possibility of 'what could go wrong'. This is probably due to our flowing stream of thoughts as well as our good will to prevent ourselves from hurting others. I also learned from Dr. Drew (the guy on loveline) that although you may obtain sexual arousal from imagining scenarios of children in your mind, it does not necessarily mean you have potential to become a pedophile. As teenagers, we are easily sexually aroused, whether you are watching or thinking about gay, straight or pedophiliac acts. By dwelling in negativity and hopelessness it is impossible to remove yourself from this world of darkness, but by understanding that you would never act out upon it will eventually remove these thoughts from your conscience. For the time being, exercise, interacting with friends, and participating in activities can temporarily remove these thoughts. Personally, I do not believe that people can be inborn sickos unless they have a chemical disorder, but it seems like you are a levelheaded person and are eventually capable of dealing with these issues yourself (very different from someone as far-removed as a molester or pedophile). Before I came to these realizations, weeks or months after my anxiety (from homesickness or travelling subsided) my brain chemicals were still ruined, but understanding these positive concepts is a true remedy. Humans are masters of adapting to situation and creating perspectives and beliefs. I believe that you can eventually overcome and destroy these thoughts even when they show themselves in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weareallokay Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!! Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me. HI guys. I can definitely empathize with you both. It is a daily struggle to live with and defeat OCD, but the most helpful piece of advice I've found is to just believe in yourself that you are not the person the OCD wants you to think you are. You have to take a leap of faith and go with this. I started knowing that this was the answer when I realized that me sitting around and worrying about it all day was not helping (trying to rationalize it doesn't work because they are irrational thoughts). I repeat phrases to mysself to help reassure me "I am a good person" "This is just my imagination and I do not believe what it is telling me" this is an amzing site that I continually go back to for re-affirmation: http://www.ocdonline.com/articlesphillipson.php and the book Beyond Reasonable Doubt by O'Connor, Aardema, and Pelissier is a great help as well. Take care! We all can beat OCD, it does not control our lives we control it as long as we continually make the difficult choice to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Apples Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 woah.. look at the views this topic got.. right now i see 39204 views. so many people have the same problem as we do damn let me talk about myself. im 20 male from india. i watch alot of porno, and now i seem to have got hooked to it. also my relationship with the opposite sex has diminished, i cant find the courage to go to college. i find myself running scared. its affecting my career and also my family life. i keep going to them porn websites, cybersex rooms and reading erotic stuff, watching some crazy videos. its all filled in my head. and im acting out of that what is stored in my memory. and i dont find any easy solution to discarding all the old stuff. and i spoke to some folks. they say you can never erase your memory. you will always have them in your head. and that is experience. all your experiences are stored and the brain has no delete function. i gotta live with it i understand, i try to stay away from porn. but its so compulsive. is anyone like that?? please message me, maybe we can talk things over. i believe in the educational stuff, not the miracle cures, and this sort of stuff needs to be dealt with on a day to day basis. i had other addictions, i was into drugs and went thru a rehab. im away from all types of narcotic substances for 15 months. and i know the nature of the mind of an OCD. i can observe my own conditioning. its a whole mess. please somebody talk to me, we can't do this alone. i'm looking for someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michflgurl24 Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 Hi, I was just reading all of your blogs, and I was so amazed on how many people have obsessive thoughts of sexual thoughts. I have it really bad to where I have sexual thoughts about everyone I look at. I have a boyfriend and I love him, but we broke up for a little bit, then we got back together, and after that, i have been feeling guilty and ashamed about me dating another person while we werent together. I have sexual thoughts about almost everyone I see. I don't want to have these thoughts. It makes me feel really guilty and ashamed, and then I am obessesing over "well if I am having these thoughts, then I need to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. I also have obsessive thoughts that I feel like I am losing interest in my boyfriend, but I don't want to lose interest in my boyfriend. All these sexual thoughts make me think this way. I have had ocd since I was like 10 years old. I never really told anyone til I was 20 though. I tell my boyfriend all the sexual obsessive thoughts I ever have because I feel like I have to tell him. I also picture every person naked, but I don't want to have these thoughts anymore. I get so aggravated and I sometimes feel like there is nothing that will stop this. I count, wash my hands, and do rituals all the time. I said something to someone one time about my 11 month old nephew. I told him something that he did, and I told him I was thinking about it, and I obsess over it, and that person took it the wrong way and told me I could get in trouble for that. After that, I was obsessing that they thought I was going to do something sexual to the nephew. So after that I was obsessing that I was thinking sexual naked images about the nephew, which I don't want to think about sexual thoughts about anyone, but my boyfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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