unwanted sexual thoughts, help me!

[Chemar]

there is a very good website at psychcentral.com with forums that may be helpful to many here

 

 

http://forums.psychcentral.com/

[Helpme]

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me.

[MyMindsPlayinTricksOnMe]

The same thing has been bothering me for about a week now. I kept having strange thoughts about family members who I know I'm not attracted to. Then all of sudden they began to emerge into me thinking homosexual thoughts about men. This scared me because I have had sexual encounters with women,I still find women attractive to me,and I have a girlfriend who I love. I dont want to do any of the things that I'm thnking because I find it disgusting. Having some type of sexual relationship with my cousin?Disgusting! I then began to think to myself "Do I still like women?" "Have I turned gay?" But,I have no such desire to lead a homosexual lifestyle. Things like this have always been a problem for me, I've had thoughts of violence which have stayed on my mind for just as long.It seems that recently I have been thinking strange thoughts out of nowhere.Sometimes I just want to get rid of it and end it all. I also havent sought professional help to tell me if I have OCD or anything of the sort.I'm afraid that if I go to seek help they will just tell me I'm gay and that is something that I dont want at all. I haven't been able to function properly as of late.I have not been able to eat,because the homosexual thoughts are just constantly racking my brain. All I have been able to do is sleep 4 or 5 times a day. If anyone has gone/is going through what I'm facing right now,someone to talk to would be greatly appreaciated. Thankyou!

[makeitstop]

hey,

I just started feeling this way and I cant believe i found this website. For a couple years when i was in middle school learning about gays, i thought i was. I couldnt get thoughts of being a lesbian off my mind. I prayed for the thoughts to go away and eventually they did. I have a lot of gay friends and i have tendencies here and there but nothing to be ashamed off bc its human and you just have to accept that they are just obsessive thoughts and that you have this entity that wont leave you alone. Ive always had a high sexual stamina. My sophomore uear in college i found out about downloading porn and masterbating- i got hooked and i felt awful about it. I got addicted to it- bestiality the works. I would get so stimulated my heart would race-i felt awful about it, i still watch it too though. I try to tell myself that its healthy and ok- guys do it and its fine, no one tells them they are sick.

Then, I did a report on sex trafficking and child trafficking for a paper and then i couldnt get the ###### thoughts out of my head about children. Ive always hated molesters and pediphiles, i could never understand why they would harm children. Then i did that paper and its all i could think about. Then the evil being came in my head and reptitively said youre a pediphile youre a pediphile. I would tell it shut up and leave me alone. I was coaching a girls team at the time and I loved these girls, i would never think of something like that about them. That stupid paper! The evil being would come to me and say things and I felt awful with these thoughts of these girls. It went away for a while, but now it wont leave me alone. Everytime i see children. And im great with kids- im a kid myself and ive always been so good with children. And now ######, im totally freaked bc of this stupid thought in my head. Listen, we are not pediphiles, we know its bad and i think its a fear factor or something, our minds can be very powerful and controlling. The fact that we know these are bad thoughts are a good sign. I think this entity thinks the worst things- fearful things and repeats in your head, its xxxx up. I am scared to and i wish i could erase it all but i think the best thing to do is remind yourself that you dont want these thoughts they arent who YOU ARE. YOu are good people and its the fears of evils of society or fears that you fear yourself that repeat in your head - not what person you are. Pediphiles are really xxxx up- they have a lot of emotional problems and have to act on them.. you dont- you are not sick people, please you arent. we are just people with stupid repitive thoughts that freak us out. Let me know what you think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me.

[Chemar]

Hi everyone

 

I understand that this topic is allowing people to talk about issues that are bothering them and that is fine, but I do just want to request that everyone abide by the forum guidelines and please do not use graphic language or descriptions that are outside of the acceptable norms for such a sensitive topic

I have had to edit a few posts recently to conform to the guidelines

 

I would also once again like to refer you to the Forums at PsychCentral where there is a very active group of members and a resident psychologist who can answer questions.

They have free online chat sessions with the psychologists too

http://forums.psychcentral.com/

 

I just feel that for many of you, PC will have a lot more answers and experience to help you with these issues

 

Chemar

Forum Moderator

[cleo]

I get this has well, i think its a way of testing my self and i believe that its normal , the problem is that we suffer of OCD so we make a big deal out of it and it sticks with us for longer.

I seriously think most mans had or pictured them selfes sleeping with another man even tough they are not homosexual , i guess inside they are tryng to test theyr sexuality.

This reminds me of hypocondria , a guy reads about deseases and starts to think he has those deseases , or you see a show on TV about a killer and you start to think you are a killer etc....

From most posts i seen on this thread it seems like most people are very uncofortable by this tought and it bring out fear and discomfort to them. This alone should show you that this toughts are not genuine , if thinking something like this was giving you pleasure then its a different story but if its making you uncofortable then it must mean that they are not real/genuine but theyr are an obession.

I can look at a tv show that speaks about movie stars and i start to think to my self hey i can be a movie star i have it in me , on the other hand some guy is looking at a tv show on cancer and he starts to think he has cancer etc..... I just think we should try and control our tought and put them into positive things instead of negative things. Like a mental exercise and i strongly believe eventually they will go away and will be replaced with positive toughts instead.If we keep concentrating ont hsi negative toughts then we are exercising our mind to think like that and this doesnt mean that we would act upon them for the simple reason that theyr are making us uncofrtable , but we will keep tormenting our mind with them for no reason.

[samantha]

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

 

 

Hey how are you?

I know exactly how you feel.I started getting ocd when i was 20,and it feels like it just happened over night.It started off with seeing family members naked, then imagining dogs having bum sex, to having this guilt feeling when i was around kids, i cant exactly pinpoint what i was thinking but i know they were discusting thoughts.the thing is that i know!!!that that is not really me.I love children,and i dont want to have intercourse with them, and I dont want to see my parents naked.But its only a thought.There is a brilliant report, if you type into google "having bad thought" there is an article that really helped me.It says exactly how I feel.It does feel good knowing that other people feel like me.Just remeber that those thoughts arent you.

Keep strong

love samantha in dublin, ireland

[Chemar]

Hi Samantha and welcome

 

I would once again like to recommend the forums at PsychCentral for these deep issues, as there are not only more active members there who deal with OCD and a whole range of other situations, but there is also a qualified and helpful psychologist, Dr Grohol, who administers the site and can provide much more insight and help than we can here.

They have a free online discussion via chat format with Dr Grohol and other psychologists each friday afternoon at 2,30pm EST and also the forums themselves are filled with supportive and helpful members who truly understand what you are going thru

 

here is the link to that community

http://forums.psychcentral.com/

 

all the best to you

Chemar

[scaredtina]

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi, I know its been a while since you've been on here and im hoping that you check this site often. I have just recently began experiencing the same thing as you are. And i was wondering how you were doing and what steps you have taken? I started taking adivan for the anxiety and celexa for the depression, i have also started counseling. Things are still so so but better than they were when this first started, im not so sure how counsling is going thou but im going to continue(only on second session). Please reply and let me know if hope for this really exsists.

[TwoIfBySea]

Albeit this being a personal ###### for the lot of us, it’s rather comforting to read that people are going through a similar thing as I with deviant sexual intrusive thoughts. This is a part of me that I have always been disgusted with. I’ve seeing a therapist about this for some time now and glad he’s shown me some insight onto this and how it relates to OCD.

 

These homosexual intrusions started with a dream I had once when I was about 20. I’m now 28 and am finally learning to understand how to cope with them, but it was at the expense of a serious relationship I once had with marriage potential. At first, they started as simple thoughts which deeply bothered and disgusted me. Being scared of what I don’t understand, I set out to explore it a little further, on my own without the help of a therapist. I acted on these thoughts in a manner consistent with someone who has OCD, by taking physical action on them. I was very disgusted with my action, and knew then and there in my early 20s that I am very heterosexual but clouded with these delusions. I was able to control them for a long time; they were just thoughts. There would be rare occasions where they would draw me to internet pornography, or reaching out to someone with similar interests. It was an inner battle of disgust vs. uncontrollable subconscious thought. The good thing was I never needed to take physical action again because I know where I stood, I was very convinced of who I was. I had them licked; or so I thought.

 

Later on, I had gotten into a serious live in relationship with, what I thought at the time was a good woman. These intrusive thoughts and impulses completely vanished, not out of repression, but they just disappeared. Behind my back she was scouring my computer, for no good reason. She found evidence of these impulses on my computer which was well before we were together. Naturally, she was very concerned and brought them to my attention. I was very offended by this maneuver, because, it sounds silly, but looking into my computer was like someone intruding on my own head. I had a lot of information in there, stuff I write, and stuff about my intrusive thoughts. It was a veritable journal of my psyche. Now I was at a point in my life where I had accepted what was going on in my head, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t how I know I’m going to live my life. I love women and I damn well know that’s all I want. But now I was being judged by someone close to me that just wouldn’t take the time to understand what was going on or listen to me. In a nutshell, she never got over it and drew her own conclusions. That is a pain I cannot describe in words. It took a year, she brought it up constantly in arguments and I had to end it once and for all. But her constant suspicion and lack of understanding of me was a major setback in my battle over this. I had come a long way prior. I dived into a deep depression, started drinking a lot, slacked off terribly at work and became more obsessive compulsive. I thought I had lost my mind for sure.

 

Finally I am beginning to come to terms with it again, and my life is back on track. But what ails me the most, is how I should handle this with my next relationship? I’m getting serious with someone and not sure how to approach it. Eventually I would like to get married and have children. I’m not one to hide the truth and firmly believe that trust is a critical asset. Thankfully the conversation has never came up, but eventually it will and I am loathing it.

[leigh]

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

yes i think unwanted thoughts about loved people..

[The Quirkster]

I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 21 (I'm now 24) and persistent sexual thoughts have plagued me for a long time. I also experience violent thoughts as well. It seems to me that the more repulsive a thought is, and the more strongly the thoughts make you feel, then the more often they will come back.

 

I have been doing CBT for over a year now. As my doctor says, you take two steps forward and one step back. Personally, I'm in the one step back part. But although I know that I will probably have my OCD all my life, with medication and CBT I can learn to live a normal life, eventually. At the moment, I'm struggling (see my "I'm Struggling" post. Fitting name, don't you think?), but OCD can be treated.

 

I strongly recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT. It will help you to cope with your OCD.

[LBC 4 LIFE]

Buddhist mindfullness. Consciousness. These things do help. Recognizing that the problem lies in your brain, not in WHO YOU ARE as a person sexually or otherwise. We are all completely unique and this stuff we obsess over is bullshit. easy come, easy go, and forget about it (easier said than done, I know, but it is possible and it is the first goal.) Also, we have been presented with an oppertunity to grow. We have the chance now to make choices about how we really want to live our lives, and abandon the rest even if it does pop into our heads every now and again. and another thing, I tend to believe that everyone has a lower and higher self, if you know what i mean. NEVER feed the lower self with self-destructive compulsive behaviours. Deep down you know which thought is your HIGHEST though. Always go with these thoughts and feelings. After all, you only live once and life is amazing when you get it right. Always remember that, and NEVER give up. OCD has a way of making the thoughts seem very real, but if you attach a label of OBSESSIVE THOUGHT aka MEDICAL CONDITION or however you want to look at it (something apart from yourself, even if it is coming from the bowels of your own brain) sooner or later you will be able to cast them away as quick as they pop in and just move your mind onto something better for you and the people you associate with. It takes a strong mind to battle something like this, but after you defeat it which you will, you will be that much stronger. Don't confide in people who have no chance at understanding. Their advice or opinions on the matter may only make it harder for you. Go, Be courageous. Stay Gold!

[Chemar]

sorry LBC 4 LIFE........ but you are trying to apply only philosophical answers to what is KNOWN to be a problem with BIOCHEMISTRY in the neurological system

 

Yes, positive affirmation, meditation, prayer etc, are wonderful and essential tools in life............but to try to suggest to people who have diagnosed neurological conditions, caused by a chemical imbalance, that this can be controlled purely by people's thoughts and atitudes is somewhat insensitive to the people suffering, and IMHO is a rather simplistic view of a very complex problem

 

In my experience, people with OCD etc NEED to confide in therapists who are qualified and compassionate and who can specifically guide them, via CBT, to a better way of dealing with their OCD

 

However, even CBT alone is not going to correct the chemical imbalances known to exist with OCD (usually deficient serotonin levels altho other neurotransmitters can also be out of balance, as well as other physiological disturbances)

 

some people find help with medications, but because of the many unpleasant side effects that can occur, more and more are finding relief from a combination of therapy (CBT) PLUS nutritional supplements to elevate serotonin

 

and where prayer, meditation and positive thinking are also vital elements in the treatment, they are but a part of the whole

[LBC 4 LIFE]

Sorry Chemar but I do recognize OCD as a clinical issue. However, I think that YOU would be oversimplifying a complex matter by calling it a "seratonin imbalance." Yes, this is the medical explanation for OCD. But even if you just want to talk about science, there have been various studies in recent history about the relationship between positive thinking and changes in brain chemistry (good news for OCD sufferers!) Some people find that OCD meds cause them nearly the same amount of grief as their disease ever did, and underlying emotional disturbances go untreated. Lots of people smoke pot and yes it relieves anxiety for the time being but it may only make matters worse in the end. Prescription treatments can often adversely affect an already delicate brain chemistry. Yes, some may find that meds help, but I just want EVERY victim of this disease to know that they CAN be strong and WILL overcome. For any illness, hope is the natural and most effective remedy, don't kid yourself.