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cleo

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  1. I just count letters in words and they have to give me an even number and if they dont i will add words to them till i get an even number. I want to ask you is this something that you do all the times or have you noticed that there are days in wich they are not so strong and you might do it less and sometimes not at all? I have another tic for example if im walking ona side walk and there are lines on it that divide the cement block i make sure my left foot steps on them before my right foot , so i will time my steps to make sure my left foot goes on it first, BUT if i know someone behind me is watching me i will not do it because i feel ashamed. Now im pretty sure shame is not a drug=) so there has to be a better solution to this issues then simply taking drugs
  2. I get this has well, i think its a way of testing my self and i believe that its normal , the problem is that we suffer of OCD so we make a big deal out of it and it sticks with us for longer. I seriously think most mans had or pictured them selfes sleeping with another man even tough they are not homosexual , i guess inside they are tryng to test theyr sexuality. This reminds me of hypocondria , a guy reads about deseases and starts to think he has those deseases , or you see a show on TV about a killer and you start to think you are a killer etc.... From most posts i seen on this thread it seems like most people are very uncofortable by this tought and it bring out fear and discomfort to them. This alone should show you that this toughts are not genuine , if thinking something like this was giving you pleasure then its a different story but if its making you uncofortable then it must mean that they are not real/genuine but theyr are an obession. I can look at a tv show that speaks about movie stars and i start to think to my self hey i can be a movie star i have it in me , on the other hand some guy is looking at a tv show on cancer and he starts to think he has cancer etc..... I just think we should try and control our tought and put them into positive things instead of negative things. Like a mental exercise and i strongly believe eventually they will go away and will be replaced with positive toughts instead.If we keep concentrating ont hsi negative toughts then we are exercising our mind to think like that and this doesnt mean that we would act upon them for the simple reason that theyr are making us uncofrtable , but we will keep tormenting our mind with them for no reason.
  3. Yes i do this all the times =/ and sometimes i even hold my breath wile im counting the letters and i have to make sure that the word/letter im counting give me an even number and if they dont ill add other letters to them till i get an even number , other wise i feel like something bad will happen to me in the long run if i dont do this.I have actually gotten so good at this lol that i can just look at most words for a sec and no exactly how much letters there are in them or i can walk in a room take a quick look inside and most of the times i can tell exactly how many people are in the room. I wanted to ask you something , are there moments in wich you dont do this? or is this something you do all the times ? for example if you have something on your mind , like a big event or you are thinking about something that is extremely important to you do you notice not doing this things? Also do you notice that there are days in wich this tics are stronger then other days? sorry for my spelling but english is a second language to me=)
  4. I have been suffering of OCD since i was a kid , has far back has i can remeber and my father suffered of ocd has well. At first i had minor tics but with the years they have gotten much worst to the point that they are controlling my life. I havent gotten any help for them because i dont believe there is anything out there or anyone that can really give me a concrete solution to this problem and to this day i believe that the only person that can solve this issue is my self. I am not gona go into details about all the different tics i have also because they have changed during the years that i have suffered of ocd , its always something different. I have seen many articles on OCD and done lot of reading on it and it look like most doctors believe that there is an imbalance in our brain that is causing this problem.I am not an expert(doctor) but i am the one that lives with this every day and i have noticed in all this years that i had them that this tics are not constant and could be controlled with some very strong will power. Unfurtunatly i dont have much of that=) I always think to my self , for example, can gambling be considered a form of ocd? can eating to much food be considered a form of ocd? doing lot of drugs can it be considered a form of ocd? can anorexia be considered a form of ocd? etc..... If i start playng with the light switch there is ovviously a big problem here and many therapists will consider this OCD, but if i smoke 30 cigarettes a day one after the other or i compulsively eat a lot of food , if i am a sex addict and have sex more then 3 times a day every day then how come this things dont fall under obsessive compulsive disorder? Should i just go to a therapist and have him put me on some drug that might help or instead it might make things worst in the long run? I am extremely confused and uncertain on what to do when it comes to obsessive compulsive disorder. I just bought a new car few days ago and i was terrified to drive the car back home because i was scared i would get in an accident and crush my bran new car , i was not able to sleep the day before because of this. Of course a therapist would tell me that this is a form of OCD , when i take money from the bank and put them in my wallet they have to be placed in perfect order and there are many more tics that i have and some of them are to emberassing to even say =) Anyways i had so many different tics in the years but some of them have gone away and new ones always come in to replace the older ones lol. I am tryng really hard in this time of my life to be able to beet this things with simply using control of my mind and i must say that there are days in wich i am able to do this, can this be a sign of hope? For example when i read something or browsing the net i always end up counting letters in each word till i get an even number =/ and this sometimes gets so bad that i have to stop reading or ill get extremely anxious. In the past few weeks i have been able to control this things , for example yesterday i was browsing this site and i started doing this and i told my self to simply STOP IT and do the opposite try to become obsessed into not counting the words and i was able to do it for the rest of the evening. Now if OCD was really caused by an imbalance in the brain how come i was able to control it , even if for a short period of time ? If i break a leg or if i have a cancer or if i was suffering of down syndrome im sure i would not be able to just snap out of it for even a few hours , those things are real problems that cannot go away no matter what i tell my self. I keep tryng to battle this stuff everyday and hopefully one day i will be able to completly come out of it by just using the one thing that is causing them , the mind. Like i sayd before im not a therapist or an expert and the only person i know with OCD is my self so i cant really make an honest conclusion to this problem , but i strongly believe that people that have OCD must have somethings in common that trigger this condition. I have always been since i was a kid , very insecure and always had a weak character and i think this two factor have something to do with my OCD. Sorry if you cannot undertand some things but english is a second language for me and i cant type in it to well=)
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