How to I speak to son about all this?

[mar]

My question is how to I talk to my 7 year old about all this. He knows about his tics and has talked to me about it but if I bring anything else up like for example "how are you feeling" he shuts me down and saids he is fine. If I ask him if anything is bothering him he once again denies that anything is wrong. He gets upset and tells me to stop asking him, that I am making him mad by the questions and watching him. How am I supposed to take him to doctors and help him when he thinks he's fine. Do you speak to your children about the anxiety or ocd? Do they tell you? Or is it basically you notice it and take them to doctors. I keep reading the therapy for the OCD would work but if he won't even talk to me how will he talk to anyone else. I feel like I want to help so much but don't know how to handle this if he won't talk.

[faith]

mar,

my feeling is that you should take his cue and only talk when he wants to. my son is the same way, does not like me to bring things up, and by doing so it makes it seem as though this is troublesome to you, and you don't want him to think that. my son would get upset in the beginning when he would see me crying or sighing or even hearing me pray under my breath. If your son seems fine and happy despite the tics, I would not pressure him. I'm sure he does have some anxiety, but best not to feed into it. I know its hard, but try to worry where he can't see it. as he gets older, you'll see you can talk more openly, sometimes if I feel I have to talk about something with him concerning his issues, I ask him if we can talk about something or if I can ask him something while he is in bed, usually he likes me to lay down with him for a bit, so that can be quiet time for talk and prayer.

 

Faith

[Chemar]

Hi Mar

 

yes, it is far better to not push talking about it all unless the child initiates it

 

with Tourette Syndrome, focusing on the tics actually seems to trigger more

 

it is real hard as a parent to pretend you dont notice...especially when it is a very alarming or loud tic.....but often that is what one has to do in order to make it easier for the child

 

same with the OCD.....my son made me promise years ago not to ask about it unless he invites it

 

when my son was much younger, I got some of the excellent booklets designed for kids from the Tourette Syndrome association and just left them out so that he could read if he chose to

 

as Faith has mentioned, that special one on one time is often a great way to communicate...and it is enough just to let your child know that he can always talk to you about anything whenever he feels he needs to.

[mar]

mar,

my feeling is that you should take his cue and only talk when he wants to. my son is the same way, does not like me to bring things up, and by doing so it makes it seem as though this is troublesome to you, and you don't want him to think that. my son would get upset in the beginning when he would see me crying or sighing or even hearing me pray under my breath. If your son seems fine and happy despite the tics, I would not pressure him. I'm sure he does have some anxiety, but best not to feed into it. I know its hard, but try to worry where he can't see it. as he gets older, you'll see you can talk more openly, sometimes if I feel I have to talk about something with him concerning his issues, I ask him if we can talk about something or if I can ask him something while he is in bed, usually he likes me to lay down with him for a bit, so that can be quiet time for talk and prayer.

 

Faith

 

 

Once again I want to thank you and Chamar for your reply's. Your right he does see that something is bothering me (my sadness)and it is making him uncomfortable. I will proceed as you two stated. It's just that every once in awhile I get so overwhelmed and just wish he could tell me everything that he's feeling so I could figureout whether it's axiety, OCD, or ADD. But I know he is young and probably doesn't even know or understand what is going on. I was doing so well in the last couple of weeks but now have the overwhelming sadness because I am so used to solving everything and with this I feel so helpless. His tics are very mild. His lips look good, just opening his mouth. I just know by the look in his eyes that something is going on. I with I could read his mind.

 

I am still so confused wit hall the doctors. Should I start off with a pediatric neurologist?

[Chemar]

Mar, there is no reason why you should not see both the neuro and the naturopath

 

the neuro can hopefully provide a more definitive diagnosis, but usually the only treatments they offer is medications

 

the naturopath can hopefully help you with the more intricate aspects of healing rather than just masking symptoms with a prescription med