Having company

[Cum Passus]

Hi All,

 

Just looking for support here. My father-n-law is coming form CA for a week or longer. This will be the first time we have had anyone in the house since the DX, and I'm nervous.

 

If you all have some helpful hints on how to keep my stress levels down for a week please let me know.

 

Thanks to All in advanced,

C.P.

[Caryn]

C.P.

When we visited our in-laws I shamelessly brought Sheila Rogers book with me and left it out. I was really surprised how much everybody was willing to help even though they didn't know a thing about TS. On the few nights my dh and I went out and my mother-in-law babysat we would catch her reading the book when we walked in the door. She loved having it as a resource. They also did a few really cool things for us before we came that we never even asked them to do. For one they emptied and cleaned out a mini-fridge for us and my son knew that he only ate out of his special fridge. Wow. That was awesome for everybody. Maybe if you have your whole house set up for your child you could set up a mini fridge and cabinet space just for grandpa. I bet he would be really touched by your efforts. When my dh and I took the kids on a vacation recently I packed him a few of his favorites that are on ds avoidance list and he "secretly" indulged. It really made him feel great that I thought of him. I think that sometimes our child's dx causes us to focus so much on making his or her home life easier that we don't often recognize the sacrifices of those around us who comply and don't have special needs.

Just my two cents.

Caryn

[faith]

Hi C.P.,

I wouldn't be too nervous, although I'm not clear if your father-in-law is aware of the issue? or are you hoping he won't notice? That is what I am always up against, because I have not shared this with any of my family, although my mother knows the issues and what we are doing to help him, but she does not understand what it exactly is and I have just said he has to strenghthen his neurological system or he gets nervous habits. Usually he does great, and she has not really seen anything when we are together. My mom is an older gal and gets so worried about my son. When this was a real problem during the last holidays, and we were so down, I actually had to make excuses and did not join my family for Thanksgiving. I praise God it is much better now.

 

My only advice is to not focus on it, or even talk about it, just relax and enjoy his company and let him enjoy the kids. If your son is having a bout, call him out to do something for you so he will not be so focused on him one on one. As far as his diet, well, you are a healthy eating family and everyone is focused on good nutrition .

 

Faith

[Cum Passus]

Thanks Caryn & Faith,

 

My father-in-law has TS too. He just has not been a part of my kids lives that much, and I know he did not believe his own son (my husband) had something wrong with him as a child. I just worry he will get irratated with the noise now and then.

 

Thanks again,

C.P.

[Frazer]

My grandpa still cant stand me. You said he isnt a big part of your family anyhow...don't let his problems be your problems. I rock...I know it...I don't need grandpas approval. He can go for a walk if stuff doesn't go the way he likes it.

[Guest]

I'm curious about what others have done about scents & company? Do you ask that company not wear scented products in your house or how do you handle that? Chemar, others?

 

Carolyn

[Frazer]

I'm curious about what others have done about scents & company? Do you ask that company not wear scented products in your house or how do you handle that? Chemar, others?

 

Carolyn

 

Just tell them flat out no scented products. This is your house.

[Chemar]

welcome to Latitudes, Frazer

 

yes, Carolyn, I do most emphatically tell company, teachers etc that perfumes and scented products are detrimental to my son's health and I request that they not use them. It is even documented in his 504 educational plan.

 

As an aside, yet still on perfumes, studies have shown that the musk compounds in perfumes etc are in mother's milk and so being transferred to babies nursing......musk xylene in particular as well as other of these compounds. The list of potential negative effects in babies was alarming!!! never mind what those things must be doing inside of women who wear perfumes.

 

I stopped using perfumed products when I first met my husband as he had extreme sensitivity to them (he also has TS/SID)

Real glad I had already eliminated these from cosmetics and household products before our kids arrived

 

 

CP, it is real hard dealing with people who dont get it, and especially when it is family one cares about. All you can do is be consistent and very firm in a gentle way. It is your child's wellbeing that is at stake!