What could this be?

[mar]

First of all I just want to say ds is doing great with tics. He actually rarely had a problem with them this whole winter which was one of his main tics in beginning. Yeah eos lip balm!! Anyway ds is turning 12 in May so don't know if this is puberty or a combination of something. I will mention two occasions. For example he will come home from school and has these plans that he is going by friends six houses down to study or do something and he does not even know if that mom says okay yet and then he knows I have to leave in 10 min to pick up dd from school. I am ready to leave and yes the friend is saying come over but yet did not ask mom yet and I tell him when we get back he can go over he flips out. I say I'm leaving and let's go . I open laundry room door and head into car and this is after telling him let's go five times . He hits laundry room door and opens it and it all angry comes into car crying and asides I slapped door in his face when he was still on couch. And then you are the only mom in the world that acts like this and crying. I state my case and say I can not and will not leave you to go to friends if the mom has not said okay. We will be back in 20 minutes and I told you you can go then. Tears coming down angry face and I am the only mom ever to behave this way. I have learned to ignore after I have stated my case or at least try bc he will keep going and arguing. I take the insults and drive and then within 15 to 20 min he calms down and acts like it never happened. Ended up not going to friends because friend had to study alone and that is ok for that mom to say that!! But I am evil and was perfectly fine rest of day! Then today. Ds Has chosen to shave head at school for childhood cancer which I am really proud of his decision . Dd tells him before dinner that you are going to look weird. Dd is 8 and ds has the long flip to the side kind of hair. So this is one of the first times dh sees this bc he always hears my story but not around. During what is supposed to be a nice family dinner ds says she is saying that he will look weird and stupid and that she is dumb and doesn't know anything not even two times two( dd is having a harder time then him with multiplying) . So bickering begins I come out of washroom at that point and say seriously this is dinner stop the fighting and let's eat nicely. Ds starts getting teary eyed and said its her fault and then saids you always talk her side even if she would hurt sometime you would back her up. Before this I told him she is young and by her saying weird she meant different. It is going to be a change . I was really shocked with his comment especially since a lot of you know I have been all about ds from the age of 7 helping him and bending over backwards at a drop of a dime every time he needed help. Dd suffered more with being in the back for awhile while I helped him. Dh looked at me and I gave him that look of you see what I mean. I walked into the other room and bc dh was there everything fell silent and went away and ds was all fine and acted like nothing happened. My point is if things don't go his way he gets angry at me and turns into this different person and tears come and will keep arguing till I walk away and then fine after awhile. But he always has this blame on me that it's me who is causing this and making him mad. I have learned to walk away and that is what works but do bring it up to him later at times because this cannot be ignored. He has told me he gets real angry at times and can't control it and that it hard for him. Any feedback would be great. The crazy part is he is the sweetest kid and has a heart of gold. Actually dd is more of my way or the highway type of kid and he is opposite . I wish I could help him control his outbursts. Why am I always the bad guy at those times and then the best mom ever who helps him feeling good as he says and tells me to not stop what I am doing!

Mar

[Chemar]

Honestly Mar...it sounds like a typical pre-teen to me!

 

Yes, kids with neurological stuff like TS can sometimes be more explosive in their reactions....so if you do feel it is getting out of hand or actually interfering with his life...cognitive behavioral therapy may be helpful in helping him learn self control.

[Pilbara]

Sounds a lot like my son, I'm the worst Mum in the world if he doesn't get his own way, he cries at the drop of a hat and has just started slamming doors. All very normal in my world. I've read Steve Biddulph book Raising Boys. He has a webside www.raisingboys.com.au there are some interesting articles you may want to go through. It's an Australian site, but no doubt useful to boys around the globe.

[mar]

Thanks for replies. He is at that age. You forget how one was at that age and all the changes and then all the restrictions with diet. Wow if I had that combo who knows what I would of been like. He had ranch dressing for first time in 4 years with contains eggs!! And did well and he has been having soy in diet here and there for months and doing good. He just tried a waffle with soy flour and did okay. Back In the beginning he would be congested within twenty minutes and tell me never to give it again!! Took them to movies the other day and let him have the popcorn for first time and butter which who knows what is in there! All happy and exciting but then towards end of movie wants the icee slushy and I say no have your water. That is pure sugar and dyes. Dd would not do well nor do I want him to have it. I once again am worst mom bc every kid has it!! I try to throw in the sugar and things are not good for your gut and you have done so well don't go back. He is getting older and smarter and the fights about food are not fun. I see his point but once I give in its like he just wants it and I am not going down that path again. I would like him to remain eating healthy and hope it doesn't bite me.

Mar