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Could it be me?


amrussell

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My son hasn't been diagnosed with PANDAS, but as a mom, I strongly feel that this is exactly what he has. Even my exhusband agrees that our 7 year old should be tested. That being said, I have yet to find a doctor in houston that will even begin testing our son. And our pedi simply hands us referrals for psychiatrists or neurologists that want to medicate our child. She's treated him from infancy and says that it's probably TS and possibly ADHD, although he has not been officially diagnosed with those either. It is my firm belief that you don't treat the symptoms, you treat the cause. But at this rate, we are getting nowhere fast.

 

The real issue for me is that my ex and I share custody of my son, and my ex swears up and down that my son's symptoms, although evident with him, seem more severe when he is with me. I wasn't sure if this was just parental jabbing on his part, until I woke up this morning. I feel a bit under the weather today and my son's behavior was very irrational and aggitated. Needless to say, it was a terrible morning for us both! I always try to start off his day on a postive note, but it was impossible to get through to him. Could his symptoms become worse when he is with me because I am possibly a strep carrier? I hate to think I'm making my son's life miserable.

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Could be, I have heard some moms say their kids react to others strep. It could also be an emotional thing. Alot of these kids tend to take it out on us moms more. I think it is a safety issue. They are frustrated, and know mom is safe, because we love them no matter what. My dd ramps up with my husband too, but I am definitely the one that takes it for the team. Recently the word "back" was a trigger for her. If I said it, she hit me, if my husband said it, she hit me, If the neighbor or stranger said it, she hit me, if SHE said it, she hit ME!! I think alot of other moms would agree the frustration comes out on us more. I think there is a recent post of Drs. that have treated for PANDAS, I am almost certain there were some in Texas. Good luck, we wish you the best.

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I agree w/ Priscilla. I think most of our kids are toughest on mom because we are the ones they are the most sure of, even subconsciously knowing that our love won't fail them. But, also, mom's are the ones who are "supposed to make it all better", so maybe they are angrier with us when we can't do that?

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My dd9 is worse with me than anyone else. I am either a trigger for her somehow or it is because as others have said that she feels comfortable with me to fall apart or angry that I can't fix it (just 2 nights ago she was very upset with me that I did not have a magic wand that would make it all go away). She blames me for everytihng, even if she has a sore throat, it's somehow my fault. Many people (most?) we know would think I am crazy if I told them what I deal with every day and I feel certain they would think I was a bad mother.

 

HUGS to you.

 

Susan

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I am my son't trigger - he cannot stand to see me swallow (food, salivia, any noise - he has bionic ears) he looses it. I'm also the "safest" place to vent or fall apart. So, double whamy.I've been cultured for strep several times (sinuses too), and even did a round of anitbiotics when a while back I had the very slightest positive line on a radip strep. I was thinking of the irony - him pointing at MY THROAT and having rages. But, I don't think thats it.

 

Its like he is simultaneously drawn to me, needs me more than ever, while being replused by me. I think a few of the kids are like that. Its so sad...and so stressful for me to be the "calming one" when usually I'm also the cause of the episode.

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I have also been my dd's "trigger". I agree that I believe it is because of a mothers unconditional love that we are targeted. As sad as it makes me I am glad I was her trigger and the one who she took everything out on. My husband does not have the patience and a very quick temper and her younger brother has already seen enough.

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My son hasn't been diagnosed with PANDAS, but as a mom, I strongly feel that this is exactly what he has. Even my exhusband agrees that our 7 year old should be tested. That being said, I have yet to find a doctor in houston that will even begin testing our son. And our pedi simply hands us referrals for psychiatrists or neurologists that want to medicate our child. She's treated him from infancy and says that it's probably TS and possibly ADHD, although he has not been officially diagnosed with those either. It is my firm belief that you don't treat the symptoms, you treat the cause. But at this rate, we are getting nowhere fast.

 

The real issue for me is that my ex and I share custody of my son, and my ex swears up and down that my son's symptoms, although evident with him, seem more severe when he is with me. I wasn't sure if this was just parental jabbing on his part, until I woke up this morning. I feel a bit under the weather today and my son's behavior was very irrational and aggitated. Needless to say, it was a terrible morning for us both! I always try to start off his day on a postive note, but it was impossible to get through to him. Could his symptoms become worse when he is with me because I am possibly a strep carrier? I hate to think I'm making my son's life miserable.

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I also live in Houston, have an 8 year old daughter and divorced. Her dad just sent me an email as well telling me he doesn't have any issues with our daughter and implied it was my parenting. It is really frustrating to KNOW that your child has something wrong with them and the other parent assumes it's your parenting skills. Have you had any luck finding a Doctor? I'm planning on attending the support group meeting in the woodlands next Thursday. Are you planning to attend?

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My dd ramps up with my husband too, but I am definitely the one that takes it for the team. Recently the word "back" was a trigger for her. If I said it, she hit me, if my husband said it, she hit me, If the neighbor or stranger said it, she hit me, if SHE said it, she hit ME!!

 

i'm sorry,,,but... :lol: ....i needed that.....that is too good...it's like a movie...when someone gets hypnotised and every time a specific word is said they cluck like a chicken

oh..my....still laughing...but i hope you are not hurt or bruised

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I did not get to read the rest of the posts but I can definitely tell you my son would have rages and meltdowns to a much higher degree with my husband . It seemed irrational. I could do or say the same thing as my husband but he was the one that would take the 'brunt' of the rage. So was my husband a '' trigger'? The answer is yes, but it was not his parenting for some irrational reason it was simply him as a human. Now that my son has shown improvement to antibiotics he no longer seems to react that way to his dad. Hope that helps and remember mist of us have been made to feel at some point that our child's difficulties are directly related to our bad parenting which we all know IS NOT THE CASE!!

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My dd ramps up with my husband too, but I am definitely the one that takes it for the team. Recently the word "back" was a trigger for her. If I said it, she hit me, if my husband said it, she hit me, If the neighbor or stranger said it, she hit me, if SHE said it, she hit ME!!

 

i'm sorry,,,but... :lol: ....i needed that.....that is too good...it's like a movie...when someone gets hypnotised and every time a specific word is said they cluck like a chicken

oh..my....still laughing...but i hope you are not hurt or bruised

 

Oh I spent a few weeks looking like I lived in a lions den. Even had a triple line scratch across my shoulder, looked exactly like a lion or tiger swatted me with a paw. My dh and I realized that "back' is also probably the most common word in the english language. YOU CAN'T AVOID IT- I get so paranoid everytime I hear someone say it now. I guess its like Pavlovs theory- I am always afraid of getting attacked when I hear it. I am happy to say that the last week has brought some very positive changes. We are experimenting with returning the word to our vocabulary (I speak wierd to normal people now when I always say "I will return") She hasn't reacted that badly for the last few days. So bizarre, the things that set these poor kids off.

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Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. I feel so alone in this, I'm so grateful for this forum. I miss the baby boy I used to hold in my arms. The things he says to me, hurt so badly. It's so hard to be his biggest supporter, and his punching bag at the same time. I feel like I'm going insane sometimes. I also feel guilty because although I do love my child dearly, I don't like who he has become. And all of this started 8 months ago, but I feel like it's been a lifetime. Hopefully this is one fight I won't lose.

 

Cassi - I still haven't found a doctor closeby. I'm looking into driving to Plano or Louisiana. I'm working on getting him tested for food sensitivities since he had so many as a baby. I literally see him change when he eats soy or dairy. I've also been thinking about getting the bloodwork done by a lab service like, great plains, etc. Right now I'll take anything that will give me some answers. About the support group, I didn't know there was one around here. I'd love to go. Where can I get more info?

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Have you looked into doctor Infante in San Antonio for pandas - his number is 210-704-2187.

 

In regards to the food sensitivies, I have a friend who went this route for her daughter and she is a totally different child (for the better) - She used Dr. McManus at the Woodlands Institue for Health & Wellness, they do all the bloodwork, get you started on the diet help you through the process, etc. They are located at:

26110 Oakridge Drive, The Woodlands, TX 77380

Ph (281) 298-6742 Fax (281)419-1373

www.TWIHW.com

 

As far as the support group meeting, "3BoysMom" started it on this message board. I sent her a personal message through the forum and she replied letting me know that it was Thursday, September 30th 2010 6:00 PM - 7:30 PM

 

Montgomery County South Regional Library - Children's Room

2101 Lake Robbins Drive

The Woodlands, Texas, 77380

 

Hope this may be of some help and maybe I might see you at the support group meeting next thursday

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