"Inappropriate" behavior and OCD

[airial95]

Alright - this is really embarrassing to bring up, but I figure if I can't talk about it here - where else can I?

 

I've read about in appropriate sexual thoughts, compulsions, etc... associated with OCD. To be honest, since my son is only going to be 3 next month, I didn't really focus on it. Well, now I'm beginning to wonder.

 

A few weeks ago - he was snuggling up with me and he grabbed my boob. He asked what that was. Very matter of factly I told him it was my breast, and that it's not nice to touch ladies there. He responded with "Can I see it?" To which I told him (again, matter of factly - not making a big to do about it), no, we don't ask to look at ladies boobies. His response: "Pulllllease may I look at your boobies mommy?" (We often tell them no to something if they don't use all of their words and ask politely and correctly - which is what he thought was happening here). I calmly explained again that it's not nice, etc...

 

Admittedly, after the fact (when my son wasn't around), my husband and I got a good laugh about that...but...

 

Since then, this little play has repeated itself several times. Lately, he also tries to place his hand down my shirt constantly, and when he climbs on me, or I'm carrying him, he's always trying to place his hands there.

 

I know at his age there is that curiousity thing, and we've been handling it just like we've always been told. Don't act alarmed or upset, just very calmly and matter of factly move his hand, tell him no, etc... But I'm starting to worry that this has gone on for some weeks now. It happened yesterday when I picked him up at school, and I asked his teacher if this had been going on there. Fortunately, she said no - so it's not spreading to strangers - yet.

 

I know it's embarrassing to talk about - but does this sound like it could be a function of the OCD - or just a curious 3 year old? As usual - I see symptoms everywhere so I'm a bit paranoid...

 

Thoughts??

[tantrums]

Sounds to me like a curious nearly 3 year old with maybe a touch of OCD brought in. The behavior at that age initself is normal. But the perseverating and asking over and over would be OCD coming into play.

[thereishope]

Actually, my 4 year old daughter often touches me, both hands openly on them pushing. I tell her to stop every time. She's had an odd curiosity about breasts (luckily, only mine) for a while. My boys never did that. For her, it's a curiosity thing or maybe she's bored. However, it has not become a ritual of doing it or asking. Like Tantrums said, it may be a mix of curiosity and OCD. The OCD being the ongoing request, almost convinced if he asks enough you might say yes. He can't miss out on that chance. Instead of saying no over an over. Tell him no once (and let him know you will say it once), then if you need to leave the room.

 

btw...my daughter does the dramatic Pulllllease too at times. That's a mix of cute and annoying when she does that.

 

 

Alright - this is really embarrassing to bring up, but I figure if I can't talk about it here - where else can I?

 

I've read about in appropriate sexual thoughts, compulsions, etc... associated with OCD. To be honest, since my son is only going to be 3 next month, I didn't really focus on it. Well, now I'm beginning to wonder.

 

A few weeks ago - he was snuggling up with me and he grabbed my boob. He asked what that was. Very matter of factly I told him it was my breast, and that it's not nice to touch ladies there. He responded with "Can I see it?" To which I told him (again, matter of factly - not making a big to do about it), no, we don't ask to look at ladies boobies. His response: "Pulllllease may I look at your boobies mommy?" (We often tell them no to something if they don't use all of their words and ask politely and correctly - which is what he thought was happening here). I calmly explained again that it's not nice, etc...

 

Admittedly, after the fact (when my son wasn't around), my husband and I got a good laugh about that...but...

 

Since then, this little play has repeated itself several times. Lately, he also tries to place his hand down my shirt constantly, and when he climbs on me, or I'm carrying him, he's always trying to place his hands there.

 

I know at his age there is that curiousity thing, and we've been handling it just like we've always been told. Don't act alarmed or upset, just very calmly and matter of factly move his hand, tell him no, etc... But I'm starting to worry that this has gone on for some weeks now. It happened yesterday when I picked him up at school, and I asked his teacher if this had been going on there. Fortunately, she said no - so it's not spreading to strangers - yet.

 

I know it's embarrassing to talk about - but does this sound like it could be a function of the OCD - or just a curious 3 year old? As usual - I see symptoms everywhere so I'm a bit paranoid...

 

Thoughts??

Edited September 15, 2010 by Vickie

[PhillyPA]

To him a breast is just like an arm or a leg. I am sure that it is not a big deal or anything sexual at all. I would not worry about this. Also, was he breast fed? If he was I am sure that he has a subconscious memory of it (or maybe conscious depending on how long you did it) and it may be a source of comfort.

 

If I had three year old I would not show him my breast. For me that would just be weird. But, I am certain that the fact that he can't see it and that you said "no" is even more appealing to him. Now he REALLY wants to see it.

 

Kids are curious and funny. Not everything is PANDAS. I know it is hard not to read into every little thing they do and think to yourself that it is all related to illness. I think what your son is asking is totally normal. Just a curious kid.

[MomWithOCDSon]

Sounds to me like a curious nearly 3 year old with maybe a touch of OCD brought in. The behavior at that age initself is normal. But the perseverating and asking over and over would be OCD coming into play.

 

I totally agree. Curiosity is natural, and maybe it will have a "half-life" of 2 or 3 days before a curious child will move on to something else of interest. But fixation could be indicative of some OCD in the mix.

[airial95]

Thanks for all the feedback. I originally thought normal 3 yr old curiousity too - but you know how us PANDAS mom's minds work - once they get going, they get "stuck" - just like the kids!!

 

He did breastfeed - until he was 16 months. We weaned because he was so verbal that he walked up to me one day and asked for "boobie".

 

Nancy - unfortunately, this has been going on for a couple of weeks. Which is what has made me question the OCD part of it. I was hoping that if we didn't make a big deal out of it, and just answered his questions straght forward, etc...it would pass in a couple of days.

 

As long as it doesn't become a bigger problem (ie - with other ladies) we'll just keep handling it like we are.

[Suzan]

Both my girls were like this and it took us a while to break it. It was more apparent in my younger dd and she's the one it's stuck with more. She did have some OCD wierdness develop where she would reach up and grab breasts when she was much too old to be doing that (like age 5 and 6 and usually it would be mine but a couple of times friends of ours, talk about embarrassing!). She would say she didn't know she would do it and she couldn't control it. This was the first time I ever had the thought "tourettes" before I knew anything about pandas. I do notice her attention moving back to the breast area when she's in a pandas episode so I know it's related somehow. She's also very upset that she will "mature" and her body will change. I think it grosses her out.

 

My advice is be aware of your personal space and don't let him do anything that makes you uncomfortable (probably dumb advice but I remember feeling bad for wanting to just knock their hands away from my chest area! "Back off my babies!" LOL!). And keep an eye on it, most likely normal little kid stuff but good to be aware of and maybe document so you can remember if you need to.

 

Susan

[Megs_Mom]

What a funny thread! Our dd was also always very fascinated by breasts - especially mine! I thought maybe I fed her too long! I'd lean towards 3 year old wierdness. But you'll know if it goes PANDAS wacky. Have you tried to give him an alternative? I think offering a squishy ball - like the ones you squeeze & they pop out in all directions. Try offering him something like this everytime you are uncomfortable. Same kind of feel, maybe that will satisfy his sensory need?

[pixiesmommy]

I don't think it's inappropriate at all, especially if you weaned at 16 months. I'm sure there is some memory/comfort associated and that is not a bad thing. I can see how it could be a fixation, but inappropriate for a 3 yr old- no way! My daughter is almost 3 and still nurses quite frequently. Pixie nursed until she was 3.5 yrs and then self-weaned. America weans far earlier than most countries. I agree with whomever said that the child has no idea at this age that breasts are sexual.

 

That being said, and hopefully not sounding harsh!, if it is bothersome to you, then it is absolutely appropriate to set those limits and say that it is a body part (just like any other) that belongs to you and that you have control over whether or not it should be touched.

 

ETA- I babysat a very "neuro-typical" 4 yr old who had been nursed briefly as a baby and he would often reach hands/arms down his moms shirt and eventually mine. It's warm, soft and squishy down there, after all! LOL

Edited September 16, 2010 by pixiesmommy

[Stephanie2]

Well, my 5yo does this and has for a long time! Funny thing is that I never told him what they are called b/c I am afraid the work "breast" or "boobies" will turn into a tic and be repeated over and over in public!! He thinks they are called "milk pumps" because he used to see me pumping my boobs when i was nursing his little brother. to this day he still asks to see my "milk pumps"!! I figure if he says "milk pump" over and over in public, ppl will just think we live on a farm...LOL!!

 

Anyway, I do think it is somehow tied into pandas, but i will also say that when I find him "playing with himself" or wanting to play "doctor" with his friends (which consisits of getting naked and checking each other's bodies out ) that this is a sign of yeast. When I treat the yeast, he completely stops this behavior (playing with body parts).

 

But the wanting to see my boobs doesnt' always correlate with yeast, so I'm not sure. I don't know, maybe that is natural curiousity of boys!!?? My husband is a boob man so wouldn't surprise me!! Haha!