Is it fair to have kids when you have TS?

[Guest Louise]

Has anyone out there had concerns regarding whether or not to have kids?

 

I mean you have a 50/50 risk of passing it on to your kids - I wouldn´t wish that for my kids?!?

 

Am I making any sence?

 

Louise

[Guest mommy2111]

I find it really hard not to be offended by this post We did not realize my sons father had tourettes in his family until our son was diagnosed. Would that have prevented us from having kids? Absolutely not. He is a wonderful well adjusted child who could care less if he has tics. We will always be sure that he keeps a sense of humor and a good perspective on this. I can't imagine him not having his tics, they are just a part of his wonderful personality.

[Guest buddy]

Hi Louise,

I would never let that be a deciding factor on whether I had kids or not as it is not a disease. There are far worse life threatening conditions out there that would be harmful. TS/tics don't make a person bad or terminally ill, they make us, as alot of people point out, unique and special (although on my bad days I beg to differ ) The only thing that I would be worried about is if I was pregnant (and I have thought about this before, I hope it doesn't sound silly) my tics include tensing my stomach and kind of holding my breath and I wonder if that would have an effect on a baby in the womb.... has anyone ever came across that?

Buddy.

[Chemar]

Dear Louise

 

I certainly do understand where you are coming from and think these are questions that many people with TS do ask themsleves, especially when they have suffered deeply with the TS and comorbid symptoms.

 

When we had our children we had no idea that my husband carried the TS gene.

He had suffered with tics etc as a child, but had internalised much of it and, although I certainly knew he was a bit eccentric, his tics were not obvious.

 

Our first son (now 18) has absolutely no neurological issues, while our second one(nearly15) inherited the full range of TS, OCD, ADD etc.

It wasnt until this son was diagnosed and we started learning about TS that my husband went "aha!" and realised that both he and his dad had all of the above.

 

 

Even with the very hard time that our son initially had when his TS manifest, and with the memories of my husband's own painful childhood......in retrospect I would not have hesitated to have children.

 

Both of our son's have brought such joy into our lives, and the son with TS has brought an immeasurable special treasure to us.

 

But I know if I am honest, when he was at his depth of suffering 5 years ago and kept telling me he would rather be dead than live with TS, I did ask myself if I would have had children had I known the torment that TS could bring.

 

However, now that I know that most of my son's suffering was related primarily to the horrible side effects of the medications he was on, and now that I have seen the blessing that can come from learning to live with TS, and the talents and remarkable abilities that come with it.......I realise that all life is truly a precious gift from God and that He can use all things to work for good.

 

My life would never have been as fulfilled and meaningful as it is with this precious child in it, and I know that God blessed us with him because He had a wonderful plan for my son.

 

So, dear Louise, life can be hard whether one has a disability or not....and it can be wonderful either way too.

It really is all to do with what we make of it.

 

If you have a desire to be a mother, then that is a God-given maternal instinct and you shouldnt let the fear of TS prevent you from experiencing one of the ultimate fulfillments in a woman's life!

Yes, there are challenges in mothering a child with TS.......but the rewards far out weigh them.

 

I sense that you may have had a hard time personally with either your own TS or someone else's and so I do hope you will feel comfortable to share your concerns and hurts and fears here, knowing that there are many of us who have been thru it too and understand.

 

God Bless you

[Claire]

Louise,

 

I read somewhere that 40% of people would not give birth to a child if they thought the child would be 'fat'. So this is a legitimate question.

 

Mommy 2111, I think Louise asked this because she was concerned for what feelings her child would have. Her feelings are legitimate for herself, and it seemed to me you were rebuking her for her honesty. Where else can she turn if not here? Clearly she has it, so she is not judging you or your child.

 

Anyway Louise, I am such a believer in the advancement of medicine and these natural ways, that if this is was a question in my own mind, I would commit myself to learn about all the natural healing methods--and trying them on myself to see if my gene pool allowed improvement. I am betting that with the right path, you will find this. It would be an early gift to your child.

 

I had bad skin as a teen and I have researched the heck out of natural ways to avoid it. I am convinced that somehow my son will never have to go through all the years of horrible teasing that I experienced. It damaged my self-confidence for a long time.

 

Buddy,

I would wonder whether the tension in my body affected my child, but not the physical aspect (think of all the people who jog while pregnant), but the emotional stress I might feel. So for that reason, I would also try to make sure I was as healthy and happy as possible! Compared to the people who smoke, drink etc...I think this is very minor in comparison.

 

Claire

[Guest mommy2111]

Louise,

 

I read somewhere that 40% of people would not give birth to a child if they thought the child would be 'fat'. So this is a legitimate question.

 

Mommy 2111, I think Louise asked this because she was concerned for what feelings her child would have. Her feelings are legitimate for herself, and it seemed to me you were rebuking her for her honesty. Where else can she turn if not here? Clearly she has it, so she is not judging you or your child.

 

Anyway Louise, I am such a believer in the advancement of medicine and these natural ways, that if this is was a question in my own mind, I would commit myself to learn about all the natural healing methods--and trying them on myself to see if my gene pool allowed improvement. I am betting that with the right path, you will find this. It would be an early gift to your child.

 

I had bad skin as a teen and I have researched the heck out of natural ways to avoid it. I am convinced that somehow my son will never have to go through all the years of horrible teasing that I experienced. It damaged my self-confidence for a long time.

 

Buddy,

I would wonder whether the tension in my body affected my child, but not the physical aspect (think of all the people who jog while pregnant), but the emotional stress I might feel. So for that reason, I would also try to make sure I was as healthy and happy as possible! Compared to the people who smoke, drink etc...I think this is very minor in comparison.

 

Claire

Claire,

 

I was simply explaining my personal exeprience with having a child with Tourettes and felt the need to let her know that the wording of "I wouldn´t wish that for my kids?!? " was offensive. I didn't feel like she was judging me or my child, but she was asking the question if it was fair? I was just responding honestly, as she was posting.

[Andy]

There is no history of TS in my family or my wife's family and yet my oldest son has been labeled as having TS. Personally, we feel his TS was spawned not from birth but from vaccination shots since he became deathly ill soon after one and then this issue occurred. I make this point often for I feel this is the direction my family has to look at for treatment. However, if either my wife or I did have TS in the family, we would still have children. I want my child to be tic free as possible but more then anything in the world, I wanted my child. I also happen to believe that TS that runs in families could also be treated without medication since there is a percentage that"outgrows" it, there is an answer in that "outgrowing" that really needs to be researched. Anyway, having a child is a serious thought that should always be thought out no matter who the married couple is. The most important question, I would think is, is there enough love in the marriage to raise a child. Best wishes with making your decision and power to you for thinking it out.

P.S. I mean no disrepect for any single parents out there, I just know how hard it is to raise children with two parents and I can't imagine how a young person can think they could do it by themselves. That is where that comment is coming from and is not directed to any widows or unhappy marriages that needed to cease.

[Guest Louise]

Thank you, everyone for sharing your thoughts on the subject close to my heart.

 

All I know is that I gave felt bad, depressed, angry and helpless because of my tics - I don´t want my child to feel the same.

 

Both me and my brother got it from my father - thats why the risk of passing it on is especially apparent to me.

 

My mother never understood - and stil don´t understand what is is about, but she has always been sad to see that my brother - who has serious tics - has never been able to get a job in his range of education (he went to lawschool)

 

Also I am very embarrassed about my tics, I still don´t understand that I am 28 years old - and still unable to control my body!

 

I am so sorry if I offended any of you.

 

But I am afraid of putting a child through the same kind of ###### I have gone through - just to satisfy my own need to have a child.

 

Thank you for listening - and beeing here.

 

I only found this site yesterday - and it feels like a lifesaver.

 

Lots of love

Louise

[Guest mommy2111]

Louise,

 

This site is a great place to read about other experiences and somehwere you can relate to many posters.

 

I apologize if i was short with you. Its hard not ot feel protective of my child and his TS. I just don't think of it as a disability.

 

Hang in there and look forward to hearing how things come along for you.

[Guest Guest]

Hi Mommy2111,

 

I am sure you have a great kid - and you would never think twice if you had to go through it again.

 

But as you also know, your thoughts change as you start to plan to have kids - all your worries appear - and since I found out that I could pass TS on I have had so many doubts.

 

I have decided to go for it anyway - now I know that I am equipped to help the child through hard times and - unlike my own parents - I have the information.

 

Next week I am going to try acupuncture, I heard several TS´s has tried it successfully - I will let you know

[sgrunin]

I dont think anyone should get offended. I think it was a good and fair question..I have a 10 month old and I think about those things all the time. I would not have changed anything in our decision to have a baby but that was our choice. My wife knew I had tourettes and I worried all the time about if my child would get it.

 

I still worry now about it but I would not ..NOT have a child because of it...Some people might think differently. Some people might think that is selfish. I dont at all.

 

Its everyones personal decision. Maybe you dont want to have kids because of this. Nothing wrong with that. Its your choice either way. There is no wrong or right.

 

If anything maybe you should have worded "I wouldn´t wish that for my kids?!? " a little differently...makes it sound like those who know we have tourettes and have kids are doing the wrong thing.

 

Other than that it was a very good question

 

Scott

[Guest buddy]

Hi Louise

Don't feel bad... I am 34 yrs old and my tics have become worse over the years. When I read about kids "out growing" them, I think to myself "when am I going to out grow them?" I too have a family with them. My Mom and two of my brothers have tics. Ironically, one of them is also an alcoholic as was my Dad. And to top that off everybody smokes, I gave up a year ago and my tics have become worse since quitting. So, I think we must have habitual genes in our family (does that make sense? ) And also like you I am new to this site. I came across it a few weeks ago and it has been nothing but encouraging,positive,strengthening, and a life saver.Everyone on here either has tics/TS, has a child with it, or knows someone who has it. Welcome, and I am sure like me you will be eagerly coming to this site as much as your daily routine will allow you, to read all the new topics and learn more and more and also take with you a positive good feeling about yourself.

Buddy.

PS Sorry, I always ramble on and on....

[Claire]

Buddy,

 

I like your 'rambling', it is quite warm and friendly!

 

I noticed you mentioned alcoholism in your family. One of the symptoms of pyroluria is a tendency toward alcoholism. Pyroluria is also an underlying condition for many neurological issues.

 

I am sure you have seen me post on the urine test for pyroluria. It doesn't take a doctor's signature, and it is only $40, plus shipping. If you have it, you can help your family because since it runs in families, they are likely to have it also. It is so easy to treat, just ~B6 200 mg/day and zinc 50 mg/day and treatment should usually make a noticeable difference within a week. I do recommend testing first though!

 

Direct Healthcare access II, 847-222-9546, you can ask for Ellen--she will send you the kit to use at home.

 

Claire

[Chemar]

Just to elaborate here a bit re the pyroluria and alcoholism link.

 

The individual WITH pyroluria induced tics does not necessarily need to exhibit alcoholism.......even if there is only a FAMILY HISTORY of alcoholism that is enough of a red flag to suggest that maybe proluria is present.

I have also read that any forms of addictive behaviour(including cigarettes and other drugs) may well be indicative of pyroluria.

 

So it is really worth testing for it, Buddy.

 

As Claire has mentioned, the test is relatively inexpensive and simple and the treatment with VitaminB6 and zinc is simple and affordable. Also, some people benefit enormously from supplementing with MANGANESE added to the B6 & zinc.

 

We have heard documented remarkable relief from tics after pyroluria has been diagnosed and treated.

[Guest mommy2111]

Hi Mommy2111,

 

I am sure you have a great kid - and you would never think twice if you had to go through it again.

 

But as you also know, your thoughts change as you start to plan to have kids - all your worries appear - and since I found out that I could pass TS on I have had so many doubts.

 

I have decided to go for it anyway - now I know that I am equipped to help the child through hard times and - unlike my own parents - I have the information.

 

Next week I am going to try acupuncture, I heard several TS´s has tried it successfully - I will let you know

I think its great you have decided to move move forward with having a child. You are right, you do have the information and the tools to handle the possibility of Tourettes being passed on. I thank you so much for your response and wish you the very best of luck with the acupuncture!