unwanted sexual thoughts, help me!

[Chemar]

I would strongly recommend that you seek the help of a professional on this.

 

the board here is not equipped to deal with issues such as this

 

I would again like to point to the Forums at PsychCentral

where more help is available in the form of peer support as well as live chats with professionals

 

again I stress that anyone having or acting on sexual impulses toward children should seek immediate professional help. Even if you would not act on these impulses, the torment they are causing you is reason enough to see a therapist/counsellor etc

 

hoping you find peace

 

I just wanted to bump this post up as those being plagued by these thoughts really should seek professional help and also via support from others

 

the forums at PsychCentral really are better equipped to help with this than we are here

 

with hopes and prayers that all who read here will find help and peace

[sporte]

I've come across this forum a few times over the last few years, and I've always found it to be a huge comfort to me.

Like a lot of you, I've also had sexual thoughts that I've been forced to live with, to deal with.

 

When I was in Year 12 (or senior year - american equivalent, im Australian)), I began having sexual thoughts toward a 9 year old girl whom I was extremely emotionally close to.

I saw her standing there, naked - that's how it pretty much started..

I considered her like a sister - her family and my family were very close, but our relationship began to turn into an obsession - I started calling her baby, spending more time with her than her brothers, I had pictures of her all over my locker, her drawings that she did for me were plastered all over my room...

 

And the funny thing is, for a long time I was blind to it.. I couldn't see the wrongdoing in having pictures everywhere or spending so much time with her..

I never hurt her, thank god.. I dobbed myself in to my school psychologist, who prohibited me from communicating with anyone below the age of 16 while i was at school, which meant no catching the bus home...

I'll never forget, one day while my psych was looking for someone to help me, she called me into her office and told me to get out of the house, to not be around when this girls family came over.. I went straight to the toilets and cried for about fifteen minutes..

That was the time I realised that this wasn't a game.. it was the real deal...

 

My psych then found me a really good forensic psychologist, who I'm still seeing today..

 

Writing this at the moment, it all still feels like a dream.. even though all of the above happened over 3 years ago now...

It's a nightmare that I'll never be able to wake up from.

 

The thoughts didn't stop there either... they then grew to involve all kids.. I'd walk past a kid anywhere between 3 and 16 in the street and have a sexual thought about him/her...

Nowdays, the thoughts aren't as bad - my psych taught me some great techniques, one being covert desentsitization - basically allowing the thought to happen, letting it run and not fighting it, and then intervening with a negative consequence - like getting caught by the parents - it worked for me..

 

I know, deep within myself, that I would never act on these thoughts... I'd kill myself if I ever did.

The worst thing is, when you're alone with a kid and the thoughts pop up - I tested myself once, babysat a friend's 3 year old for about half an hour - I had a thought, but I could control it - but the sickening, disgusting feeling I had afterwards was enough to have me fighting back tears.

 

I hate this so, so much.

 

People who I tell this to.. they see it as an attraction.. first thing they say to me is 'you had feelings for her/them' but thats not true at all.. i never did.. but its the only way they can understand it, so I guess i've become kind of numb to what they say/think/believe over time...

 

I'd never wish anything like this upon my worst enemy... but...

 

At the end of the day, I think I can say I'm very, very glad I took the path I took. I'd hate to think where I'd be if I hadn't spoken up....

 

I hope I've been able to help someone with my story - thanks for listening...

Anyone wants to talk, feel free to drop me a line...

 

Cheers,

 

sporte

[crystal]

I would strongly recommend that you seek the help of a professional on this.

 

the board here is not equipped to deal with issues such as this

 

I would again like to point to the Forums at PsychCentral

where more help is available in the form of peer support as well as live chats with professionals

 

again I stress that anyone having or acting on sexual impulses toward children should seek immediate professional help. Even if you would not act on these impulses, the torment they are causing you is reason enough to see a therapist/counsellor etc

 

hoping you find peace

 

I just wanted to bump this post up as those being plagued by these thoughts really should seek professional help and also via support from others

 

the forums at PsychCentral really are better equipped to help with this than we are here

 

with hopes and prayers that all who read here will find help and peace

[michflgurl24]

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

 

 

Hey,

[michflgurl24]

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

 

 

Hey,

 

I have the same problem, i have the bad unwanted sexual thoughts that I can't get out of my mind and i have umwanted thoughts of other thoughts that I just don't want and don't want to think of. In fact I had this unwanted thought that I was in denial and I wanted my boss, and I don't want that thought, infact, I don't even like him and I am having thoughts about that. I hate these thoughts, I wish it would go away also.

[tonganheat]

I've read majority of the replies on this and I must say I so respect what everyone has gone through and what everyone is trying to do to cope with this terrible thing. I'm not sure if anyone has tried to look at this from a religious stand point. Here's a real awesome quote from Prophet from long ago that still applies today. Just to give a little back ground on this it's the Lord speaking (need I say more?): "And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weaknesses, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, for my grace is sufficient for ALL men that humble themselves before me, for if they humble themselves before me, and have FAITH in me.... THEN WILL I MAKE WEAK THINGS BECOME STRONG UNTO THEM!"

 

In a nutshell, we all have struggles that we all must face personally and overcome. But remember my friends, you are never alone. The Lord tells us that we all have weaknesses so we can be humble. But he also gives us the amazing promise that if we trust and have faith, then he'll make weak things become our STRENGTHS! I so testify that this is true. I feel a sort of connection with you all as I have had a life long battle with this problem. My sincerest love and empathy go out to all of you that have this.

[Linseyap]

I have had this going on for quite a while now and I literally had tears reading this, knowing I'm not alone! And thanks for that quote above, I'm a Christian so a lot of my bad thoughts are related to that and I've been praying about it a lot.

 

I didn't realise it was OCD, I always say I used to have it because most of my symptoms have gone, I used to do a lot of routines which I haven't done in years but I guess it never fully goes away.

[Mr_Shepherd]

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

 

I can relate. This has just been killing me for the last 2+ years. I've gotten to the point where my life is just pure misery. I've thought of committing suicide several times just because I can't take it anymore. I think just how f***d up am I? Why? Why do I think sexual thoughts like this? Disturbing, twisted, and distressing...At first I was limiting my contact with others just so that I could better manage my situation. I was also wondering how people didn't know that there was something incredibly wrong with me. The worst part of how this manifested though...is that it manifested during a deployment while I was away from my friends and family. What a f***g nightmare. I am so scared to look at people sometimes because I know it's coming. I just don't want to think it. Somedays are harder than others. Like today for instance was just terrible. I wanted to die. But that's not really true. I just want the pain to stop. I am just in an unbelievable amount of pain, and distress from these thoughts. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 1/2 years. Before I left on my deployment, I was convinced that I had found my soulmate. I was so thankful that she was the love of my life. To feel that...To be at the peak and all of a sudden be plunged into this abyss of constant misery...I just. I'm just losing it. I can't tell anybody I know. I don't want them to know. If my girlfriend knew the truth about what goes in my head, I'm convinced she'd leave me. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. I look into the mirror and see my reflection but I can't reconcile it with the monster that these thoughts convince me that I am. ...Yet somehow every other aspect of my life is going how I had intended. I'm out of the service, I have a very nice job, I'm still with my girlfriend, and I have no debt and more money than I expected. Yet all these things are inconsequential when weighed against how much pain this...what is this exactly?! OCD?! Am I just some sick disgusting nut job?! ...Aaargh. I am so frustrated, and scared and depressed at the same time. I can't imagine talking to some stranger and telling them what I'm thinking.

 

###### even I don't want to think about what I'm thinking. To actually verbalize it to someone else?! No way. I've been thing that I should just get my hands on some OCD meds and see if there's any result. I know that that's not going to be easy though. I'm sorry I rambled...I'm just..!!

[Mr_Shepherd]

I've read majority of the replies on this and I must say I so respect what everyone has gone through and what everyone is trying to do to cope with this terrible thing. I'm not sure if anyone has tried to look at this from a religious stand point. Here's a real awesome quote from Prophet from long ago that still applies today. Just to give a little back ground on this it's the Lord speaking (need I say more?): "And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weaknesses, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, for my grace is sufficient for ALL men that humble themselves before me, for if they humble themselves before me, and have FAITH in me.... THEN WILL I MAKE WEAK THINGS BECOME STRONG UNTO THEM!"

 

In a nutshell, we all have struggles that we all must face personally and overcome. But remember my friends, you are never alone. The Lord tells us that we all have weaknesses so we can be humble. But he also gives us the amazing promise that if we trust and have faith, then he'll make weak things become our STRENGTHS! I so testify that this is true. I feel a sort of connection with you all as I have had a life long battle with this problem. My sincerest love and empathy go out to all of you that have this.

 

I almost cried reading this. Thank you. I haven't been going to church faithfully. I think about praying all the time but I think that it won't help me. I've prayed before but I'm still suffering. I am sometimes so upset that I question God and wonder why he let me be so happy just a few years prior. I was so happy, so in love, so ready to get married, and devote my life to my girlfriend and having a family. She was my everything. Now I don't know anything. I question my feelings about everything including religion, myself, and my relationship. And that just makes me miserable.

[Mr_Shepherd]

Hi,

 

I was just reading all of your blogs, and I was so amazed on how many people have obsessive thoughts of sexual thoughts. I have it really bad to where I have sexual thoughts about everyone I look at. I have a boyfriend and I love him, but we broke up for a little bit, then we got back together, and after that, i have been feeling guilty and ashamed about me dating another person while we werent together. I have sexual thoughts about almost everyone I see. I don't want to have these thoughts. It makes me feel really guilty and ashamed, and then I am obessesing over "well if I am having these thoughts, then I need to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. I also have obsessive thoughts that I feel like I am losing interest in my boyfriend, but I don't want to lose interest in my boyfriend. All these sexual thoughts make me think this way.

 

This is EXACTLY what's happening to me. I'm sorry but I am thankful that others know what I'm going through and that I'm not alone. I'm still suffering but I feel a little better. I have no desire to leave my girlfriend. I love her so much. I used to cry thinking about what misery I've brought her. I always told her she's the world to me and I meant it. I devoted myself to her and our relationship and I was never happier and then...this ###### started. So yeah you are not alone.

[jody64]

oh yes i know how you feel also i also a christian for oever 20 years and ive been struggling with this problem off and on for a long time,and the lord is the answer,but you must work on it daily.i hate those perverted sexual thoughts.but porn is my biggest weakness.most every woman i see i have sexual thoughts in my mind about them.and i hate that,and ive cried many nights about it.but thank the lord for this site because its soothing to fellowship with others with like dissorders.

I have had this going on for quite a while now and I literally had tears reading this, knowing I'm not alone! And thanks for that quote above, I'm a Christian so a lot of my bad thoughts are related to that and I've been praying about it a lot.

 

I didn't realise it was OCD, I always say I used to have it because most of my symptoms have gone, I used to do a lot of routines which I haven't done in years but I guess it never fully goes away.

[mom2a]

May I ask if you do anything naturally to help yourself??

 

When my son was having intrusive thoughts we had to clean out his foods and figure out what was behind the ocd behavior. Milk was his big trigger, infact even today, if my son has dairy, the thoughts come back within 20 minutes! Yours may not be dairy, but it's worth figuring out so you don't have to live like this!

 

Omega 3-6-9 can also be beneficial. I strongly believe though that the supplements are an added bonus but knowing your triggers are a MUST to feel better!

 

Take care!

[Chemar]

mom2a

in many cases intrusive thoughts are related to OCD /serotonin imbalance.

We have a sticky thread here re natural ways to treat OCD and also to sites with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy info

http://www.latitudes.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=1963

 

where dietary and supplement changes make an enormous impact in improving things, therapy is also a valuable tool. Although my son has never had the level of intrusive thoughts discussed on this thread, he was enormously impacted by aspects of his OCD that had unwanted thoughts in other areas. Getting his serotonin/endorphin levels elevated as well as the CBT really helped him cope. We feel cleaning up his diet of all chemicals and supplementing correctly played a very important role in the synergizm that has led to his OCD being so much more stable, and so calming those intrusive thoughts

[sarge]

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

hi

everyone has some sort of ocd whether it be counting things or cleaning all the time, its nothing to really worry about.

Your unwanted sexual thoughts, are just that and there are many ways of dealing with them, you have made the first step by having someone to talk to, you can use many different ways to stop it thought stoppers eg. an elastic band etc.

But since you have identified that it is a problem u want to solve then well done at least that way you know it will go no further and u wont get into trouble

[sarge]

hey,

I just started feeling this way and I cant believe i found this website. For a couple years when i was in middle school learning about gays, i thought i was. I couldnt get thoughts of being a lesbian off my mind. I prayed for the thoughts to go away and eventually they did. I have a lot of gay friends and i have tendencies here and there but nothing to be ashamed off bc its human and you just have to accept that they are just obsessive thoughts and that you have this entity that wont leave you alone. Ive always had a high sexual stamina. My sophomore uear in college i found out about downloading porn and masterbating- i got hooked and i felt awful about it. I got addicted to it- bestiality the works. I would get so stimulated my heart would race-i felt awful about it, i still watch it too though. I try to tell myself that its healthy and ok- guys do it and its fine, no one tells them they are sick.

Then, I did a report on sex trafficking and child trafficking for a paper and then i couldnt get the ###### thoughts out of my head about children. Ive always hated molesters and pediphiles, i could never understand why they would harm children. Then i did that paper and its all i could think about. Then the evil being came in my head and reptitively said youre a pediphile youre a pediphile. I would tell it shut up and leave me alone. I was coaching a girls team at the time and I loved these girls, i would never think of something like that about them. That stupid paper! The evil being would come to me and say things and I felt awful with these thoughts of these girls. It went away for a while, but now it wont leave me alone. Everytime i see children. And im great with kids- im a kid myself and ive always been so good with children. And now ######, im totally freaked bc of this stupid thought in my head. Listen, we are not pediphiles, we know its bad and i think its a fear factor or something, our minds can be very powerful and controlling. The fact that we know these are bad thoughts are a good sign. I think this entity thinks the worst things- fearful things and repeats in your head, its xxxx up. I am scared to and i wish i could erase it all but i think the best thing to do is remind yourself that you dont want these thoughts they arent who YOU ARE. YOu are good people and its the fears of evils of society or fears that you fear yourself that repeat in your head - not what person you are. Pediphiles are really xxxx up- they have a lot of emotional problems and have to act on them.. you dont- you are not sick people, please you arent. we are just people with stupid repitive thoughts that freak us out. Let me know what you think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!

Hi i know exactly how you feel ive been like this now for 2 years and it is killing me, i just want to die everyday because i feel sick and disgusting for having these thoughts. I am a woman and i have a lovely boyfriend who is everything that i could want, but im plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts, i have thought about children, and my own family. It just makes me feel sick when i think stuff like this. I know that they are just thoughts but when the thought comes into my head the urge to think about it is so strong that i have to think about it if you know what i mean, and what i do be trying to do is make myself realise that i dont really feel like this and sometimes i cant. When i do realize it then i start to feel really guilty for having such terrible thoughts about my family, and that makes it start up all over again. I really need to stop this now because i want to have a normal happy life, my boyfriend knows that i have ocd, but he doesnt know about the unwanted sexual thoughts, i have also had thoughts of thinking that i wouldnt care if someone died and have told him about this, that problem isnt as bad as my current one, but it still happens to me sometimes. Im also afraid to have sex sometimes because those thoughts come into my head then also and i do be afraid that i like them, i know that i dont but you know yourself that when the thoughts come into your head it doesnt feel like that. Please help me, it does make me feel a bit better knowing other people feel the same as me, but i even feel guilty and worried after writing this because i have put all my worries into words for the first time and it is after making it even more real now for me.

Hi

I know sortta how u feel not exactly....here in britain we are I dont know whether to say lucky enough to have a program for this sortta behaviour...unfortunately the only way to access this course is to be arrested and tried by a court...however as a human male (as sometimes my colleagues and myself are often assumed not to be human for our job) i totally feel for you as yes we all have these thoughts and feelings at times its about knowing how to control them and shrug them off if u like the internet is the bain of every humans existence although alot of us wouldnt be able to seek the help or advice we r looking for in this setting...everyone at the time these thoughts/feelings become over powering are going through alot of different things in their lives i understand this and have most likely been im terrible situations themselves as children etc as you have identified that this is wrong and terrible is a great start whilst on the internet think about them as your victims this however does not make you a peadophile as many of the men i work with are led to believe this is government and media for all countries labelling people...which i see as very wrong within my job i come accross both peadophiles and sex offenders there is a big difference if u have not however commited an offence u are neither

The defintion of a peadophile is someone who CANNOT and i can not stress that enough have a sexual or non sexual relationship with an adult they will only find children attractive....a sex offender is often someone who has made a mistake for example downloading child porn or had sexual relations sith someone under age but regrets what they have done fully and know they were worng accept it and put into practice wayz of stopping this from happening again

every1 at some point has gone into porn starting form "soft" become desensatised so moved on and then again until they become so desenseatised they have to go onto child porn beastiality etc often many men do not even realise they have downloaded inappropriate images until to late.

 

I putmy hands up to every1 here for making this sort of forum possible and PLEASE donot think you are alone in this everyday someone is goin through the same thing the difference is you are tryin to get advice on how to stop it before it escalates.

 

Im sorry I had to put my two pencein but as I read through I hear somany voices shouting for help and advice scared that they are these monsters who should be strung up when u r noraml humans there are just things happening in your lives that have brought you to the edge and this is a release.

 

Find someone to talk to sit them down and talk and you will find it helps otherwise im willing to listen not jude and help in anyway I can

 

 

SARGE