When to/ How to tell your child he has Tourettes

[plparke]

My 9 year old son has many tics, eye blinking, throat clearing, shouts, he also appears to be ADHD. He's had the tics off and on since age 7. We do not have a formal diagnosis, it's not been a full year without a pause and when we took him to the neurologist he was temporarily tic free. I have now read many books on the subject but none talk about when and how to have this talk. When i try to bring it up he either gets a little angry about it or he finds a way to weasle out of the discussion. He does not want to talk about it. But it is starting to affect his life.. we are starting to have to do things differently in regards tohim and we don't really give him a good explantion other than "this is better for you".

 

I think it's time to have this talk and i was going to let him also read the book "tic talk". My wife isn't so enthusiastic about this plan. Can someone tell me what i should do?

[ilovedogs]

Honestly, you'll probably get better answers than mine! But here goes: I haven't told my son anything except that he has tics and I gave him a brief description of what they are. When I give him supplements I tell him they are for his overall health and for his anxiety. The reason I haven't gone into too much detail with him is b/c he is 10 and b/c he has major health anxiety. I don't want to scare him so I keep things very basic for him.

I also told him that if kids ask why he does something(a tic) or makes a certain noise that he can tell them it's a tic and that they can ask me(his mom) or their own parents for a better definition or explanation.

I'm sure you'll bet better replies soon! Sorry I couldn't be of more help. By the way, welcome to the boards!

 

Bonnie

[chap]

hi plparke

 

good luck with this, I really identify with difficultly of approaching this sensitive topic with your child! Im sure you'll get some good responses from this board like bonnie Ive only talked in terms of tics. I didnt go into lots of details about Tourettes or what the future might hold as I didnt want to overwhelm her. I did the whole "lots of kids are different, some have glasses like..., some are in wheelchairs , you have tics" conversation. Also, what seemed to help most was when we told her that sometimes her dad had tics.

best of luck...

[Chemar]

my son was 10 when diagnosed and we told him immediately. It was actually an enormous relief for him to know what was happening and, as he himself read more about TS, to understand

 

He also did not hesitate in letting his peers know and asked me to inform all his teachers too

 

we found that this upfront approach really was the best way as it helped relieve a lot of his own anxiety about why he ticced so, and brought about overall understanding from his friends & teachers too.

 

however

having said all that...

 

if your child is wanting to avoid the subject right now, maybe just be patient and wait till the right moment arises. I do also feel a husband and wife should be in unison on something this important so if your wife doesnt feel the time is right...it mayalso be wiser to wait a while.

 

Also, do be sure of the diagnosis before you are emphatic about it....perhaps a this *may* be TS is a better approach

 

I dont know the book "tic talk", but you could also leave it out and perhaps he will begin reading it on his own

 

all the best as you make this decision

[plparke]

Thanks everyone. i appreciate your replys. It sounds like we will be taking it slow.