School Anxiety

[philamom]

My daughter graduated from 5th grade yesterday (wiping sweat off brow). She was on a modified school schedule the entire year. She is terrified of school on so many levels.

 

For the last hour or so she's been crying nonstop about attending middle school next year. I'm about to pop her a Benadryl soon, I think. This is crazy and sooo tiring! Uggh

[cobbiemommy]

I don't believe a Benadryl will produce any lasting harm and may bring her some relief. You need your rest as well.

[michiganpandas]

Next year is my daughter's last year of elementary....all next year and throughout the summer I plan to visit her middle school as often as possible. Maybe this summer you could pop in once per week if it is open and walk the halls...or have a popsicle on a bench outside of the school...or walk around the fields and kick a ball, etc. I plan to do this to make the transition a little easier....maybe you could talk about this with her and come up with a plan.

[MomWithOCDSon]

I think Michiganpandas has a great idea!

 

Do they, by any chance, offer any fun summer school programs or camps at the junior high or on its grounds? That's how we integrated DS into both his junior high and high school facilities, plus gave him a chance to meet some of his teachers in advance. We signed him up for some fun, short-term summer programs in both schools so that when that first day of school rolled around, he could walk into the building with more confidence, and even see a familiar face or two among the adults.

 

I know her school phobia probably makes both of you reluctant to add any "school activities" to your summer, but in the end, it might be worth the effort since it should make returning to the actual school year much easier.

[philamom]

Thank you for the suggestions. We did a 2 hr tour of the school yesterday which is what sparked her reaction last night. She finally received an IEP two weeks ago, after being declined last year. We met with her new guidance counselor and emotional support person. They were great and made every effort to make her feel less anxious. She was able to see where her classrooms would be and met some of her teachers. She is so afraid of vomiting (herself and others), food, lunch, all specials, transitions, substitute teachers, bus rides. But her biggest fear is attending full day. There were times during the tour that she showed glimpses of excitement, but then found out it was full days and has been in panic mode since.

 

We had a very, very rough school year this year. It has been extremely tough on the entire family, and especially my health. I spent almost every day this entire year dragging her in kicking, screaming, crying - all to average 2-3 hours day. The last 6 weeks have been better from adding in a new antibiotic. The abx has decreased her daily nausea and GI cramping significantly, which helped her to attend more. But still far from where she needs to be.

 

We probably will need to stop the abx (doryx) soon due to sun sensitivity. Already having issues with sunburn even with sunscreen. Worried about her GI issues returning.

 

We will be away most of summer - IVIG, week at shore, 3 weeks at Rothman, but hope to add in a few school visits in between.

Edited June 21, 2013 by philamom

[MomWithOCDSon]

Rothman should be of great help, one would think! As you probably know, at least one of dcmom's girls had a similar OCD manifestation (fear of vomiting), and Rothman was able to train them all to get past that!

 

Hang in there, and all the best!

[mama2alex]

I feel for you. DS missed at least half the school year due to Mono and school anxiety, and refused to go at all the last 6 weeks. He was taken off abx in January and it's been a slow, but steady trip downhill ever since. We're hoping to have him back on abx by the end of summer after treating for mold and viruses. I have no idea how he'll be doing in the Fall and no idea if Rothman will help (going in August). I am trying to hold on to hope and you need to do the same.

 

One mom who's taken her child to Rothman suggested I take pictures of school, classmates, teachers, anything that will serve as an exposure to school. I am also going to email the doctor and ask if he has any recommendations on what to bring or do to prepare. Just an idea.

 

What's happening with your health? If you have any suspicion of Lyme at all, please don't ignore it. I did this for a long time (aided by negative western blots) and ended up very ill this winter. It made it extremely difficult to help ds and advocate for him. I tested positive on Advanced Labs this spring and am now being treated for Lyme in addition to mold, and feeling much better.

[michiganpandas]

that is/was my daughter's BIGGEST all time fear...throwing up. We did Rothman last summer. You will watch a lot of youtube videos....our favorites were the "Family Guy Chowder" video and family on a roller coster having a blast until the mom got sick...you'll see those ones for sure! Exposure is the best help, but it's for sure not easy. The school year after sudden onset of this fear my husband had to meet my daughter at school every day for lunch just to get her through the day and b/c the lunch room is a place where throwing up usually happens. For 4th grade (this year and the year after we did Rothman 3 week) we had to basically force her to go and told her we refused to meet for lunch. She had a back up plan for comfort at school (could go help the librarian with a friend) right after she was done eating. It was not easy, but eventually got better she ended the school year with only missing 3 days of school for totally normal things! Best of luck to you guys...the ocd fears are incredibly difficult to see your child have to suffer!