Therapist anxiety for parent!

[PANDASmcnuggetsw/fry/coke]

We have met a local therapist who YES, finally does CBT and daughter is to meet him in the next appointment. I also have a set of three appointments in town with a psychiatrist who supposedly does CBT AND SSRis. I'm not sure if he knows anything about PANDAS. I am overwhelmed at the information they require before even seeing the psych! (well the first one I met and like and then he gave me paperwork for the second appt. with her and I liked that) But this other one requires all of this information up front and how do I know we will even like him or that daughter might not like him, or that it just might not be the right fit?

 

Is this how it is done everywhere? With other fields it is more the norm that a potential client can meet you and some things are discussed, but if it is not the right fit, no fees are taken. It is not even the fees that bug me, it is the requiring all of this personal info to someone our family may not even like. And we do not live in a large town either.

 

As I mentioned we are going to Rothman soon and I am wondering about all of these local appts. I have set up. I'm getting cold feet about the local stuff, although I know she will need someone local to carry on with her when we get back.

I was really hoping to compare these two and then decide for CBT.

 

Thoughts? Comments? Experiences?

 

THANKS!

[dcmom]

My honest opinion-

 

If you are going to USF for therapy- I would wait for all/ any appts until after that.

 

YOU will learn SO much about ERP - you will be a much better judge of what your child needs. In retrospect, most of the therapy we have done locally (and we have used top notch, professionals that "specialize in ocd and cbt" was, at best, a waste of time, and at worst- harmful).

 

Good luck- how long till you go to USF, and sometimes they might have recommendations in your area.

[Missmom]

I know...... we have a new clinic in our area and I went there requesting a simple liver function test on my son because of all the abx he has been taking. Just a simple lab-bloodwork, right. Anyway, before they would see my son they wanted all records from our neuro. As to why he is taking so many meds.. I got really frustrated and left there. I did not see the reason to have to divulge my sons entire health history just to get a simple lab test done. I left there and went to a local urgent care and they did it no questions asked. I thought it would be good to give this new clinic some business, but not if they are going to ask for all of that info up front... Won't go there again... I am so tired of feeling like I have to justify all of this. I think you should be able to shop around for someone you feel comfortable with before sharing all of your personal info. Good luck at rothman.

[PANDASmcnuggetsw/fry/coke]

Thanks... this is what I was leaning toward. Just putting things over till we get back. Still bugs me that they want all this info and I have never even laid eyes on the psych.! We leave in a bit over 2 weeks. So this will give me more time to prepare the rest of the family for my abscence.

[lfran]

Hi!

 

Can you either post or PM me about your waste of time/harmful experiences? DS11 just started seeing a therapist at a local OCD clinic (which also does intensives) -- not USF. I've been really pleased, because he is really opening up and talking to her about things that bother him and he is willing to do at least some of the homework. As I said, we just started, and he was given an ERP assignment for this week. It is also helpful to me, to see how someone else approaches him/draws him out/etc and to feel less alone. But it sure does cost a lot in terms of time and money (by the time we drive there, have the appointment, have lunch and go back, it's half a day!) I don't know if USF is in the cards, but I'd love to hear more (with details, if they're helpful) about why your non-USF therapy sessions were not helpful.

 

Thanks!

 

 

My honest opinion-

 

If you are going to USF for therapy- I would wait for all/ any appts until after that.

 

YOU will learn SO much about ERP - you will be a much better judge of what your child needs. In retrospect, most of the therapy we have done locally (and we have used top notch, professionals that "specialize in ocd and cbt" was, at best, a waste of time, and at worst- harmful).

 

Good luck- how long till you go to USF, and sometimes they might have recommendations in your area.

[JuliaFaith]

We are also currently in the market for a CBT therapist. It is so difficult to get started. None of our in-network therapist seem to even do CBT so now am looking outside network. One website I looked at talked about getting your insurance to cover an out-of-network therapist as in-network if they have none in-network that deal with your particular therapy.

 

Went on the International OCD Foundation website and found 4 in our area. My plan of action is to text them with what we are looking for and see if there is a fit, just to get started (CBT/ERP therapy; understands chronic illness; active participation therapy not talk therapy where you relive your neg. experiences). Not sure if this will work but seems a good start. We are on waiting list for 2 therapists (phychologists) with one that accepts insurance but not sure how long their waiting lists may be.

 

A Psych. that our dr. recommended wanted $600 for first visit, with a $200 non-refundable deposit, plus $280/hr. for subsequent appts. And does not take insurance. Just the stress of hearing this makes me need to see a therapist!

 

Your post reminded me that I have not tried local medical college.

 

Good luck on your appt. Will be looking forward to hearing about your progress.

[dcmom]

Ifran-

 

It really boils down to (for us) that our local psychs were not tough enough, because they really did not "get it". So instead of the therapy for an ocd being painful, but quick- it was long, drawn out, a lot of talking, and a lot of stress.

 

A therapist should be having them face their fears directly, and should not be swayed by any BS that the kid offers. There is not a lot of need for conversation (because we all know how the ocd kid can come up with a lot of reasons, excuses, etc).

 

Our therapist at USF had them "doing" and not talking. It was a very no nonsense, up front, honest approach. I cannot say enough about it.

 

When I say our local therapy was "harmful", it was because my kids had to take time off of school to go to the appt (which also made them feel "different"), we paid out of pocket (ouch), and we spent an hour discussing painful issues, and got NO or VERY LITTLE results.

 

At USF, I am not saying it was not difficult, but we got results, which made it worth it. Also it was daily, rather than dragged out weekly for months.

 

USF was covered by our insurance, and we stayed at the RMH- so the whole shebang (ncluding flights) cost us about the same as 5 local sessions.

 

Good luck!

[dut]

JuliaFaith - hi - did you contact Shelley Mackaman? We have yet to get in for our first appointment - couple of weeks or so hopefully. If you made contact what was your impression? She is in network for us (premera) but would be interested in your experiences with her or others in our area.

 

How are things with you, in general?

[JuliaFaith]

JuliaFaith - hi - did you contact Shelley Mackaman? We have yet to get in for our first appointment - couple of weeks or so hopefully. If you made contact what was your impression? She is in network for us (premera) but would be interested in your experiences with her or others in our area.

 

How are things with you, in general?

Hello Dut - Left a message with Shelley M. and a friend recommended her as well. Have not heard from her yet.

 

Will PM when I get a moment.

[lfran]

Thank you. That's very helpful!

Ifran-

 

It really boils down to (for us) that our local psychs were not tough enough, because they really did not "get it". So instead of the therapy for an ocd being painful, but quick- it was long, drawn out, a lot of talking, and a lot of stress.

 

A therapist should be having them face their fears directly, and should not be swayed by any BS that the kid offers. There is not a lot of need for conversation (because we all know how the ocd kid can come up with a lot of reasons, excuses, etc).

 

Our therapist at USF had them "doing" and not talking. It was a very no nonsense, up front, honest approach. I cannot say enough about it.

 

When I say our local therapy was "harmful", it was because my kids had to take time off of school to go to the appt (which also made them feel "different"), we paid out of pocket (ouch), and we spent an hour discussing painful issues, and got NO or VERY LITTLE results.

 

At USF, I am not saying it was not difficult, but we got results, which made it worth it. Also it was daily, rather than dragged out weekly for months.

 

USF was covered by our insurance, and we stayed at the RMH- so the whole shebang (ncluding flights) cost us about the same as 5 local sessions.

 

Good luck!

[PANDASmcnuggetsw/fry/coke]

I cancelled a bunch ofappts and that felt good! We did see a psych today though and I posted a new one about that. He was PANDAS friendly. DCMom,I like the idea of "doing and not talking" that you mentioned at Rothman. I wonder HOW this works when it is is intrusive thought type of OCD?

[Agnes26]

I cancelled a bunch ofappts and that felt good! We did see a psych today though and I posted a new one about that. He was PANDAS friendly. DCMom,I like the idea of "doing and not talking" that you mentioned at Rothman. I wonder HOW this works when it is is intrusive thought type of OCD?

 

This is what we're dealing with, too, so I've been wondering that myself.

[dcmom]

Hi Moms-

 

I am TOTALLY not a therapist, and everything I know I learned from a brilliant doc at USF. However, I knew good therapy when I saw it (and saw results), and then could look to our past and see therapy that was a waste of time.

 

We didn't deal with intrusive thoughts- maybe someone like Nancy has, and can chime in- but I do know of one ERP tool that is used.

 

The basic premise is that you do not have control over what thoughts come into your mind. Most people have some bad thoughts, but let them go. However for the ocd brain they sometimes get stuck, and can be scary or upsetting.

 

Since you cannot control if and when these thoughts happen, you need to work on your reaction to the thoughts. The object is NOT to try to distract from the thoughts, or use relaxation techniques- this is going to make things worse. The object (which is very tough at first, and may have to be done in baby steps, with some "rewards" along the way) is to purposely THINK about the thoughts. You need them to think about, write about, talk about and even sing about the thoughts so much, that they get TIRED of the thoughts. So in the end, if the thought comes into their mind- they think "oh- so what, that boring thought", and most likely the thought will go.

 

The think I loved about our pscyh was all of our issues were "no brainers" to him. He was unflappable, and made our issues seem minor. He also helped to normalize ocd by likening it to other diseases.

 

Good luck!

[PANDASmcnuggetsw/fry/coke]

Thanks DCMom...sounds like "extingusishing" the behavior if that is the correct term I remember from college centuries ago!

Well that is what I was thinking it might be like and this is going to be verrrrrry interesting indeed!

[mdmom]

My son has done a fair amount of CBT and it has not worked, so I understand everyone's worry in finding just the right local therapist. And the therapist would have to see all aspects of the OCD - including the medical piece going on in our kids.

 

We've been through many therapists- some at a world-reknowned pediatric institute. Nothing has worked to relieve OCD symptoms.

 

My son has even been taught to use his "Mental Toolbox" when he has an intrusive thought. He is literally insulted by the idea of a mental toolbox. I cannot blame him.

 

I am hoping to gain more concrete tools when we go to Rothman in Nov. And they will not live in the "mental toolbox" with the rest of the junk he has been taught.