Son resistant to testing

[CareBear]

I have just seen an integrative MD who has ordered several tests for my 7 year old son with TS. (hair analysis, blood test for food allergies and urine analysis for vitamin levels, etc.) The problem is, my son is extremely resistant and defensive and is now saying, "I hardly even blink my eyes anymore! There's nothing wrong with me!" I've had a very hard time discussing his TS and OCD behaviors with him (he hasn't been to a psychologist yet). He sometimes seems receptive but usually denies or explains away his behaviors.

 

Can someone help suggest a way I can talk with him about his symptoms without making him feel like he's "weird" or "different." He actually told me today that he thought I needed to have MY brain tested because I was even suggesting that I let someone take blood from his arm. Anyone else have trouble convincing their kids that the testing will be beneficial.

 

Carrie

[Pandamom]

Carrie,

My daughter has Pandas which resulted in tics, panic disorder, agorophobia and ocd. We got a great book from our psychologist called Freeing your Child From Anxiety by Tamar Chansky. She gives alot of great tips on how to talk to children with anxiety. You can get it on Amazon.com

 

Hope this helps. Tracy

[Chemar]

Hi Carrie

 

that book by Tamar Chansky is excellent (as are all the others!)

 

It is hard to explain these things to very young children and I am wondering if some of the resources available from the TSA may help you http://www.tsa_usa.com

They have a lot of booklets and videos etc to explain TS etc

 

If your child's tics are very mild, you may want to just put the tests on the back burner for a short while until you are able to communicate all this in a way that wont be so upsetting to him

Perhaps also when he comes to understand that he is but one of many bright, talented and great kids who happen to have TS, he may not feel so uncomfrotable with it.

 

Finding a gentle and compassionate pediatric psychologist may also be helpful. Sometimes our kids will heed the advice of others readily even when they are resistant to that same advice from us

[Giselle]

Hi there, the best way I've described my son's tics to him is that they are like an alarm that helps us to see that something wrong is going on in his body - it's like the body is asking for help - the tics are a good thing and that he's special to have this warning system as most people don't. What your son doesn't have yet is the experience to see this is true. My son, who started ticcing at 5 1/2 underwent the testing and when we acted upon the information from the tests - his tics abated. Each time we learn something and adjust for it he gets better and better so now he's totally willing to have a test. I also used HUGE rewards for the blood test. I told him that he could pick out whatever he wanted from Toys 'R Us and he could have the rest of the day off on whatever day he took it - it is a tramatic experience and I used this to sweeten the deal. The doctor ordered a test the other day that required blood and I was super busy and couldn't do it for a few days - he was asking me "When can we do the test?" because he wanted Luke Skywalkers X-wing fighter! Well he got it! I got my test results and everything is getting better. One thing the doctor gives us for when he has a test is a small tube of lidocaine (topical anesthetic) and some cool banages that allow for the cream to remain on his arm so he never feels the prick of the needle. He still doesn't like the tourniquette but before we went the first time I let him know what to expect by telling him exactly what to expect and even put a large rubber band around his arm to show what the tourniquette felt like - he likes to know exactly what's going to happen (control freak like his Mom ). But he was prepared. Before you give him a blood test though try to do other tests, like the urine test - my son had a blast peeing in a cup! He loved the fecal test because the doctor told him he got to poop in a french fry box - which is exactly what the thing is! He loved that - we really made that fun. After those we did the blood test.

 

Good luck,

 

Giselle

[CareBear]

Thanks for all the great advice. Giselle, I loved your descriptions of the incentives for the tests and also the way you explained the tics to your son. Very positive. I think my son is still feeling like he is some kind of freak, but he won't talk to me about it. I'll admit that his door obsession (opening and closing constantly) is driving me nuts and sometimes I come down on him about it. Then I feel just awful. I really don't understand if he truly can't control it or if it is just an unusual fascination. After I get after him to stop with the doors, I notice the eyes blinking and rolling more than ever. Poor little guy.

 

Anyway, thanks again. I'll put all the great advice to good use.

[Giselle]

Carrie, don't beat yourself up - most all of us have done this and feel terrible - and you're right he can't control it. I finally developed a strategy so that I didn't do this anymore. I told my son that I totally understand that he can't help the noise he makes (although right now he's almost perfect now that fire is out finally!) and that I know it doesn't bother him at all so to keep on making it but that I just have to have a Mommy time out - and I do that - I take a very long shower and slather every inch of myself with my aromatherapy body scrub, I shave my arm pits and legs (even my furry toes), and slough away my callouses (gosh I sound all rough and hairy!). It really helps - he knows he's driving me nuts and I think he feels relief when I actually admit it while validating that he can't help it. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm honest with him and when I come back I'm ready to be calm Mama again. I think there must be a certain amount of anxiety for him knowing he's annoying me like "Oh gosh, when is she going to crack, I hope she doesn't crack, gosh I wish this didn't bother her". So by being calm and matter of fact that it does indeed bother me every once and a while and that I need to take a break he knows that when I DON'T take a break I am not going to crack and he's more calm in general. Another great help is I keep a really good book going - I can totally tune out everything when I'm reading so if I need a break I read for a bit, which also helps - I usually have to separate myself out though because if I'm sitting somewhere close I end up getting interupted with a litany of fabricated Star Wars anecdotes! Anyway, find something that works to give yourself a break and if/when you do crack apologize - it helps them to know we aren't perfect either - pobodies nerfect!

 

Good luck, you're a great Mom!

Giselle

[kim]

Carrie and Rough and Hairy (you give me the best laughs Giselle)

 

Have you guys seen that investment commercial about having a healthy nest egg for retirement? In case you haven't, it has this giant egg in a bunch of scenarios. One, is where it's on a tread mill, connected to a bunch of electrodes. I look at that egg, and think "that's me, minus the big crack" somedays.

 

Raising two boys, that are smarter than I am, is hard enough (a lot of fun too though), but throw a little tempermental ticcy stuff in the mix, and it can get really interesting with TWO of them!

 

Giselle is right Carrie, cut yourself a lot slack! These kids are very resilient and I think well aware of who it is, that would throw themselves in front of a herd of wildebeasts for them!

 

Kim

[Chemar]