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Another friend lost


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my little girl had a friend for the whole summer. i was so excited cause she never had one. well this one is gone too, since my daughter could not stop obsessing about the little girl copying her. the girl dumped her and i am broken hearted once again. i think i feel the pain more. when will things ever get better for her. ugh

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Some kids are mean. I'm a middle school teacher and I have seen mean kids but I have also seen wonderful acts of kindness and friendship. I would look for a social skills group in the area One that has organized activities so she can feel included . If your school has an aftercare program that may be a way for her to make friends sometimes girls are nicer 1on1 when they don't have so much pressure from others.

 

Melanie

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she is not able to attend school. i have had her in so many classes. she starts out excited, but her confusion and ocd are so out of control that she can not maintain the classes. so sad since she is athletic, musical, and wonderful. this sickness prevents her from so much. she in non functional. sad.

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Wilma, I am sorry for this set back, but I have to tell you how very happy I was to hear that your girl had a friend all summer! Take some time and go back through your posts from last year. From what I remember around Christmas and New Years last year - your daughter had so much difficulty getting through the day and the nights were unbearable. I am wondering if your daughter is at a point in recovery where she is ready for some cognitive behavioral therapy to help her cope with her obsessions. Perhaps you have tried that in the past, but this might be a good time to reintroduce it - especially if she liked having a friend. Maybe she will see it as a way to develop her role as a friend?

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she was doing well with the friend because her ocd seemed to be better, but like with all other meds, and supplements...it seems to stop working. her ocd skyrocketed and she started to annoy the little girl by saying the same thing over and over. there was no way my child could stop. she had no control over the thoughts. it was futile trying to help my child stop. her brain was taking over. i am wondering now, if i should call the mom to explain. i have not told her anything. perhaps she will have the little girl give the relationship anther try.

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First, I want to say that your post was so sad to me. My three year old daughter is starting to experience the same things with her friendships. It is an area that makes me so sad as I am thinking about her future. Her preschool friends already notice that she is gone for weeks(during the start of an exacerbation) and they kind of move on to different friends. She is a little too "close" to them, always wanting to hold their hand or reaffirming that they are friends. I assume that this will get worse as she gets older. But, she is a very loving girl and sensitive to others reactions to her. It does make my heart so sad for her and others with PANDAS who have these challenges.

 

I definitely think that you should call her mom and talk to her about it. We are all different and have different things to give to this world. Maybe it would be good to have the friend and her mom over together.

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my little girl had a friend for the whole summer. i was so excited cause she never had one. well this one is gone too, since my daughter could not stop obsessing about the little girl copying her. the girl dumped her and i am broken hearted once again. i think i feel the pain more. when will things ever get better for her. ugh

I think the Mom's do feel the pain more. I was always looking anxiously out the window to see if DD9 was playing with the neighbourhood kids, or sitting by herself in her own distracted little world, or screaming and crying that the others were not behaving properly and that she wouldn't put up with it. It has taken 5 months of lyme/bartonella treatment but she actually has some friends in her class. She can play appropriately with the kids next door and not rage about misbehaviour. She said to me the other day that it was easier to make friends now, but I don't think it bothered her too much when she was sick because she was too distracted and raging to truly notice.

 

I agree with the idea of joining girl scouts. I think it helps them to understand social interaction, and there are lots of different types of kids there - some may be more understanding of your daughter's problems. My daughter made one of her best friends at Brownies. The girl had been DX with high functioning aspergers and they got along like peas in a pod. It was kind of crazy when the friend came over to visit, with lots of upsets, but happy times too.

Edited by rowingmom
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