Going under...fast

[OOpswrongplanet]

Hi...My name is Carla I'm 17...I've been dating this guy with Asperger's for 2 years now give or take....I've broken up with him once already..because he was so controling and I met another guy...But I ended up getting back with him..His name is Brian..and he is the most amazing person I have ever met...he really is...Hes opened my eyes to soo much...Tho we've just started kind of talking about his "AS" since I started working with kids that have autism..they are in preschool..and they are the best..tuff at times..but thats what makes it for me. no two of them are alike..I love it...

 

But there are alot of similarities in brian...of course...but..sometimes I feel like I'm beating my head into a brick wall with brain..We have been on the rocks for awhile now..I feel that I need a break..but I don't want to hurt him..everytime I mention it ... its like his whole world is ending...he starts to cry...and sometimes yell...actaully it kind of changes from sobbing to screaming to given up then back agian..he hurt me once..he started to bang my head against the car window... I know he didn't mean to hurt me he would never do that...it just if we could work things out maybe it would be diffrent...but every time I bring something up he starts crying or he throws something in my face....and its gotten to the point where I have started to yell at him about it...Like when he starts to cry I say "stop acting like a baby" and after I say it I feel sooo bad..but I'm so frustrated..because I want to talk about something and it never gets solved b/c he starts crying and what I have to say takes back seat to him being upset..So I pretend like its okay to make him feel better....and it just happens over and over again... And space is a big issue also he flips out when I go out with my freinds and not him...he acts like I'm betraying him..and I'm not..I just want to hang out with my freinds..becuase they mean alot to me... I have to give him 5 min luectures why I have to go out with my friends....and he gets sad because he says "all he does is work and come home..and I get to go out with my freind" its not that he dosn't have freinds they all work and when they arn't working they are doing stuff he dosn't like to do...but I don't wnat to not see my friends because he can't see his..and I bring him sometimes..but not in certain situations with certain freinds...because I know that some bad happend befor and I'm not gonna do it to him agian...but I don't tell him that...

 

Okay well I'm sorry this is so long..and I understands if no one has the time or patients to read it....but i've just had it up to my eye balls with this and some much more...if any one knows what I'm going threw or has any advices pleaz im open to anything at this point...(im sorry if i offened any1 in this I didn't meant to I just need help..I don't wnat to lose him)

 

~Caral

[Sheila]

Hi, Carla. Probably, as you say, he does not mean to hurt you but he is hurting you, emotionally and physicially.

 

You sound like a sympathetic person, and it's great you are working with autistic kids. I'll bet they love you!

 

You should be looking for a boyfriend who will let you be fee to make decisions and see your friends without you having to worry about an emotional outburst. He is also physically abusing you which is totally unacceptable.

 

You can't change him yourself, and you surely know this by now. He also can't change himself without professional help and possibly medical intervention.

 

You won't be able to continue helping little kids if you are in a destructive relationship. It might be good for you to see a counselor and explain the situation to get advice on how to get through making this break.

 

Best wishes--let us know how you are doing, Sheila

[shelli]

well the reason why i joined this site is becuase im feeling the kind of frustration with my boyfriend, we are both seventeen and i also feel up to eyeballs, sometimes i feel like giving up, and he will always burst into tears and once even bit me on the forehead! i know he doesnt mean to hurt me because he loves me. and i sometimes feel like a right ###### when i get frustrated, becuase i know its not his fault that he acts the way he does. but i cant help but feel like giving up sometimes. its good to know that some1 else is going through the same kinda thing. how is it going now? have u gone your seperate ways? or are u still working through the problems? xxx

[Chemar]

hi Shelli

I just wanted to welcome you to the Forum and hope that someone with more knowledge re aspergers/autism will be along soon to chat with you