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What I like about that line above, is that it emphasizes what you directly control - your own reaction to the behavior. A major problem for me was my own frustration. I could regularly see that I was not patient enough. But, if the OCD drives us nuts, it is even worse for the child, and he's just a child - without adult faculties. So intellectually, I always have to tell myself "cut him some slack, it's not really him." What I am talking about is not what behavior is allowed or not in the house, but about our reaction to them, in particular the severity of consequences for behavior that we impose. We shouldn't treat each child identically, but rather according to their needs and abilities. I don't draw a distinction between rages caused by PANS, and "behavior". It's all behavior, I didn't think that I can truly separate the two as long as PANS remains.