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unwanted sexual thoughts, help me!


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#1 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 02 September 2004 - 04:11 PM

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.


#2 Guest_Guest_colleen_*

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Posted 17 September 2004 - 10:15 AM

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

hey since march of this 2004 i too have been having unwanted sexual thoughts at first i thought i was liking in ###### i would wake up with panic attacks and i was so scared, i felt like a completely different person. i have sexual thoughts with any man i see and it is driving me crazy sometimes i feel like i want to take my life so the pain can end if any one else has this ocd problem please let me know and also if there is any solution to this horrible problem.

#3 Guest_Guest_colleen_*

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Posted 17 September 2004 - 10:16 AM

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

hey since march of this 2004 i too have been having unwanted sexual thoughts at first i thought i was living in fear i would wake up with panic attacks and i was so scared, i felt like a completely different person. i have sexual thoughts with any man i see and it is driving me crazy sometimes i feel like i want to take my life so the pain can end if any one else has this ocd problem please let me know and also if there is any solution to this horrible problem.

#4 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 21 September 2004 - 04:58 AM

I have felt exactly the same as you, I dont understand why its happening to me and it causes me so much pain that I have wanted to end my life aswell. I dont know what to do and I'm really scared. I want to get on with my life but I have this hanging over me and interrupting my thoughts. Please tell me if there is anything that I can do to make it stop.

#5 Guest_mike_*

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 10:52 PM

Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.

yes I have had these same thoughts. I have homosexual thoughts although I have no attraction to men. It is very distressing to me. I have had success with medication but espec ially exposure therapy. Looking and thinking of these images on purpose and then the thoughts become less bothersome. It does work. Exposure therapy is a way to go. Find a therapist that specializes in OCD and you can share your intrusive thoughts. They have heard all kinds and thoughts. When the thoughts come remember they are just fleeting thoughts, they mean nothing!!!! Trying not to think of them creates frustration ans stress and make the thoughts more common and much more powerful.
Any other questions or help please email me at michaeljconnelly@msn.com

#6 Guest_S.H._*

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Posted 26 September 2004 - 05:57 PM

Hi everyone-

well, I am another person who is plagued by recurrent, anxiety-provoking, life-and-soul crushing sexual thoughts related to OCD. Here's the crazy part, I have somehow made it through medical school being as sick as I am. For example, I remember seeing genitalia of cadavers in anatomy lab and having sick thoughts--- it was a nightmare. Other thoughts of homosexual-nature, everything. I dont know how I've made it this far. Now, I'm doing a rotation in the ICU it's gotten worse than ever. I am on the verge of quitting and losing everything that I've worked so damn hard for.

I guess that I am just looking for people who have the same experience as me so that I could be of support to them, and, in turn, have some support in return. My email is digg_for_fire@hotmail.com... it would be great to hear from those of you out there. good luck to all and I hope we can win the battle together!

#7 smilemona

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Posted 13 November 2004 - 02:13 AM

Hi~

If you're looking for some support with your stressful obsessive-compulsive thinking, I have a great book recommendation.

It's called Loving What Is by Byron Katie and it's available on Amazon. It teaches you a 4 step process you can use when you're stressed about the thoughts that are showing up in your head - whether sexual or not.

I'm not claiming that it's a cure for OCD. What it does give you, though, is a chance to understand your mind a bit more and possibly find more peace by questioning what you believe. Once you understand the thoughts that you're having, it can be less frustrating and scary the next time they come around.

I use this technique with myself and others and while I haven't worked specifically with anyone who has been diagnosed with OCD, I have seen it help people with addictions and other repetitive thoughts that were really bothering them. If you're dealing with stressful thoughts, this process can definitely help.

Here are two websites where you can get more information:

http://www.thework.org and http://www.letsdothework.com

I hope you find something that helps.

Love,

~Mona

#8 Guest_BlueCharlieBrown_*

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Posted 21 November 2004 - 04:39 PM

hey since march of this 2004 i too have been having unwanted sexual thoughts at first i thought i was living in fear i would wake up with panic attacks and i was so scared, i felt like a completely different person. i have sexual thoughts with any man i see and it is driving me crazy sometimes i feel like i want to take my life so the pain can end if any one else has this ocd problem please let me know and also if there is any solution to this horrible problem.

Hi brothers, whats up? :D Firstly I want you all to relax.Having thoughts about anything(bad, ugly, wrong or whatever) is totally normal and it never means that you desire them.The reason why they keep on coming and never stop is that all the time you try to get them out of your minds.Just relax and let them in, there is no point to try to get away from them.Nothing is "wrong" over here.I know it seems kinda hard to have thoughts about homosexual relationship for a heterosexual man, but they are just thoughts.Desires and thoughts are totally diffrent.Even it is normal to have desires about men sometimes.Or being curious.And you allways should know that your sexual identify cannot change neither you want it or not. :) So no need to get nervous.Take care, see you later on these pages. B)

#9 Guest_M_*

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Posted 22 November 2004 - 12:25 PM

Hi, this has been driving me crazy too. I am 26. I have had three long term heterosexual relationships and now am suffering from debilitating unwanted thoughts of a homosexual nature. I have been diagnosed with OCD and after all it is "the doubting disease". So it started a few months ago where I just suddenly thought "is my mate attractive". Massive panic..... And its gone from worse to worse. What if all this time I've just got it wrong?? What if I am gay?? Do I have to give up my current girlfriend who I'm completely in love with?? I constantly check my reactions to men. Do I find them attractive - what is attractive?? Do I want to sleep with them - no. But how do you know unless you've tried?? For f#cks sake - does this mean I have to try everything on the planet just to check if its good?? It goes on. I try and check my reactions to women. Deep down I know its ok as just being in contact with my girfriend is enough to "reassure me". But then - maybe I'm bi-sexual. Does this mean I have to get rid of her?? What if I stop liking women and start being turned on by men?? What if I think about it for so long that eventually I just decide to be gay? Getting out of hand now. Thinking about it all day, dream about it. Its taking over. If I feel a bit turned on randomly in the day I question whether its because theres a man near by? Trying to write thesis at moment but thats just not happening. Have got some SSRIs in the car. Not keen to start taking them but am thinking enough is enough. Can't get CBT - 15 month waiting list.
Just thought I'd share my experience with you.

#10 n0105094

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Posted 27 May 2005 - 09:08 AM

Hi, this has been driving me crazy too.  I am 26. I have had three long term heterosexual relationships and now am suffering from debilitating unwanted thoughts of a homosexual nature.  I have been diagnosed with OCD and after all it is "the doubting disease".  So it started a few months ago where I just suddenly thought "is my mate attractive".  Massive panic..... And its gone from worse to worse.  What if all this time I've just got it wrong?? What if I am gay?? Do I have to give up my current girlfriend who I'm completely in love with??  I constantly check my reactions to men.  Do I find them attractive - what is attractive??  Do I want to sleep with them - no. But how do you know unless you've tried?? For f#cks sake - does this mean I have to try everything on the planet just to check if its good??  It goes on. I try and check my reactions to women. Deep down I know its ok as just being in contact with my girfriend is enough to "reassure me".  But then - maybe I'm bi-sexual.  Does this mean I have to get rid of her??  What if I stop liking women and start being turned on by men??  What if I think about it for so long that eventually I just decide to be gay?  Getting out of hand now. Thinking about it all day, dream about it.  Its taking over.  If I feel a bit turned on randomly in the day I question whether its because theres a man near by?  Trying to write thesis at moment but thats just not happening.  Have got some SSRIs in the car. Not keen to start taking them but am thinking enough is enough. Can't get CBT - 15 month waiting list.
Just thought I'd share my experience with you.

 


First off...take a deep breath and relax. I too have suffered from the same exact thoughts. You begin to question your actions and beliefs even though they occur naturally like being attracted to women. All of a sudden you find yourself asking the questions "why am I attracted to boobs or why aren't gay men attracted to women" and because you are now analyzing it...your natural abilities disappear for some reason. Why, I don't know but that's how my brain has percieved it. I have had the exact same thoughts as you...I have always been completely heterosexual, have never had any desire to well you know, do stuff with guys (nasty! but completely okay if you so desire). However, my obsessive thoughts get into the mix and I think "what if I am but just don't know it" or "what if I am just ignoring it" Here is what you have to think about, it is okay to have those thought, to find other men good looking, or even sexy. We are all human and sexuality is the most complicated thing that even the best doctors can not fully explain. I went to a shrink to talk about this stuff and he educated me on human sexuality...he said that there is no one who is completely straight or completely gay...we all end up somewhere in the middle. For men, it is more difficult because if we show any "signs" of playing for the other team we must be...and that does not help us who suffer from obsessive compulsive thoughts. But really, it is okay, you love your girlfriend and that is all that matters. One thing I do when obsessive thoughts come into my head is just replace those thoughts with one sentence "obsesive compulsive" . This helps becuase now I know why I do it. Also, it helps to understand human sexuality and that it is okay to have thoughts...it is human nature, the problem is, people who suffer from obsesive thoughts turn them into emergencies as opposed to simply dismissing them like other people can. Talking to my shrink about this stuff really helped me and has almost cured this type of thinking...knowing the cause is half the battle...please talk to someone about this...you will be doing yourself a favor. It is all about the way you think of things...your turned on in the office and you think is there a man near by? but is there a female near by also? Instead of obesising on the negative turn it around and look at the positive. Will you always be turned on by your girlfriend every second you are with her...of course not, now that would be wierd! I hope other people respond to you and that this post helps you. Good luck and it is okay.

#11 nak

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Posted 12 February 2006 - 11:11 PM

Hi, this has been driving me crazy too.  I am 26. I have had three long term heterosexual relationships and now am suffering from debilitating unwanted thoughts of a homosexual nature.  I have been diagnosed with OCD and after all it is "the doubting disease".  So it started a few months ago where I just suddenly thought "is my mate attractive".  Massive panic..... And its gone from worse to worse.  What if all this time I've just got it wrong?? What if I am gay?? Do I have to give up my current girlfriend who I'm completely in love with??  I constantly check my reactions to men.  Do I find them attractive - what is attractive??  Do I want to sleep with them - no. But how do you know unless you've tried?? For f#cks sake - does this mean I have to try everything on the planet just to check if its good??  It goes on. I try and check my reactions to women. Deep down I know its ok as just being in contact with my girfriend is enough to "reassure me".  But then - maybe I'm bi-sexual.  Does this mean I have to get rid of her??  What if I stop liking women and start being turned on by men??  What if I think about it for so long that eventually I just decide to be gay?  Getting out of hand now. Thinking about it all day, dream about it.  Its taking over.  If I feel a bit turned on randomly in the day I question whether its because theres a man near by?  Trying to write thesis at moment but thats just not happening.  Have got some SSRIs in the car. Not keen to start taking them but am thinking enough is enough. Can't get CBT - 15 month waiting list.
Just thought I'd share my experience with you.

 


First off...take a deep breath and relax. I too have suffered from the same exact thoughts. You begin to question your actions and beliefs even though they occur naturally like being attracted to women. All of a sudden you find yourself asking the questions "why am I attracted to boobs or why aren't gay men attracted to women" and because you are now analyzing it...your natural abilities disappear for some reason. Why, I don't know but that's how my brain has percieved it. I have had the exact same thoughts as you...I have always been completely heterosexual, have never had any desire to well you know, do stuff with guys (nasty! but completely okay if you so desire). However, my obsessive thoughts get into the mix and I think "what if I am but just don't know it" or "what if I am just ignoring it" Here is what you have to think about, it is okay to have those thought, to find other men good looking, or even sexy. We are all human and sexuality is the most complicated thing that even the best doctors can not fully explain. I went to a shrink to talk about this stuff and he educated me on human sexuality...he said that there is no one who is completely straight or completely gay...we all end up somewhere in the middle. For men, it is more difficult because if we show any "signs" of playing for the other team we must be...and that does not help us who suffer from obsessive compulsive thoughts. But really, it is okay, you love your girlfriend and that is all that matters. One thing I do when obsessive thoughts come into my head is just replace those thoughts with one sentence "obsesive compulsive" . This helps becuase now I know why I do it. Also, it helps to understand human sexuality and that it is okay to have thoughts...it is human nature, the problem is, people who suffer from obsesive thoughts turn them into emergencies as opposed to simply dismissing them like other people can. Talking to my shrink about this stuff really helped me and has almost cured this type of thinking...knowing the cause is half the battle...please talk to someone about this...you will be doing yourself a favor. It is all about the way you think of things...your turned on in the office and you think is there a man near by? but is there a female near by also? Instead of obesising on the negative turn it around and look at the positive. Will you always be turned on by your girlfriend every second you are with her...of course not, now that would be wierd! I hope other people respond to you and that this post helps you. Good luck and it is okay.

hi, i have ocd too and have sexual thoughts that i dont want in anyways. I have a loving husband and beautiful son one can ever imagine, and still im occupied with these stupid disgusting thoughts. you mentioned that "your shrink said noone is completely straight or gay"what do u mean by this?? i mean its more confusing to think that way. One is one way..by nature God has made men to be attracted to women and women to be attracted to men. how awful it would be that you call yourself hetrosexual, and yet you believe you are not completely that? that's more disgusting. I think the better approach is that its true everyone gets those thoughts and they are natural but it doesnt mean we get it because we stay somewhere in the middle..that would upset the natural law of mother nature, not being sure who is what, and just be hanging in middle. So when we get thoughts like those, we can just think these are just thoughts and deep inside we know we would never do such disgusting acts nor we are attracted to the thoughts we get, for ex hetrosexual men getting thoughts of homosexuality. They know they feel disgusted to think that way but still they get those thoughts, so it doesnt mean they are getting those thoughts becauase they stand in the middle, they get thouse thoughts naturally, and they just have to learn that those are just thoughts and they are not acting upon it nor they are that way. and by just letting them come and not thinking about them make them go away themselves.
I will appreciate if you would comment on this , or make it more clear to what your shrink said. thanks it was just confusing to me.

#12 insanexcore

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Posted 10 September 2006 - 11:10 AM

ohhh man, that's so crazy, I had no idea so many other people had the same problem. However, I'm really lucky, because I know someone who has OCD too, and I can always talk about it. It's really helped to see others have the same exact symptoms as me, because then I know I'm not 'weird' or 'disgusting'. My main problem is always having sexual thoughts, but I'm not really compulsive. When I was about 7 years old I would obsessively wash my hands, and that was right after my parents got divorced. Now, I just have obsessions, not so much compulsions, and I always remember havign them. Thank you guys for talking about this, it really helps. (:

#13 DLL

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Posted 12 September 2006 - 01:06 AM

i agree, seeing other people that had similar thoughts helped me slightly, but i still can't get the thoughts out of my head. im on 5-htp and and its helping some but every day is a struggle. i keep having these obsessive thoughts, or "fears" about homosexuality. just certain situations make me freak out and get scared , like when a guy has his shirt off or if i see roomates boxers or what have you. it really pisses me off, because i never ever had homosexual thoughts before. i hate the thoughts, and would give anything to go back to the way my mind was before. i'm not having desires or anything, just thoughts and fears and questions of DO I REALLY LIKE GIRLS? or i'll think about how horrible my life would be and it just drives me nuts....i went to a dr about it and he said i have severe anxiety (which i already knew) and some ocd ... my whole anxiety thing started this past spring (2006) after i had a huge panic attack which landed me in the hospital. i had been smoking a pack a day for three years, smoking more pot in a week than most have in their lives, and drinking every night i stopped cold turkey on all of those for a good 2 months or so, and began to drink again, nothing real serious, but the anxiety and panic attacks remained occaisionally. also, now every word i hear on tv that is semi-sexual or can be turned into a sexual word catches my attention and freaks me out/scares me.....i still drink all the time, and my dr says that my alcoholism is lowering my serotonin levels, making me more susceptable to ocd and anxiety. another example of my ocd/anxiety is last saturday, my friend was being an idiot and sprayed some kind of keyboard cleaning stuff at me, and it kind of got me in the ear. we read the label and said it could be fatal to inhale, and i freaked out inside and couldn't stop worrying about it, even tho almost nothing of it touched my ear, simply amazing. the same thing happened last year when someone sprayed orange cleaner at me and some got in my drink, i drank it and swore i was like poisoned and couldn't stop worrying about it....these type of worries seem to go away with assurance that they aren't real, but still i have other thoughts that i can't stop worrying about on occasion. i just don't understand why this homosexual thought thing won't completely go away, and why some days its worse than others....im a sophomore in college at a big university, so you can only imagine how horrible every day is for me....any help would be awesome

#14 chemar

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Posted 12 September 2006 - 06:12 AM

Hi

although this is all way out of my area of knowledge, yet I can sympathise with what you are all going thru and my best advice would be COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT)

http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

Having to live with the constant battle against your own thoughts is exhausting and counter productive.
Although 5HTP helps many people with OCD because it helps to elevate serotonin levels, yet it isnt always the right supplement for all people, and for some it can have a negative effect. It should also NEVER be taken with anti-depressant medication SSRI's and needs to have adequate Vit B6 to compliment it.

Inositol is a mild vitamin B supplement that many people also find helpful (again vitamin B6 is essential to compliment this.) and some people find samE or methionine (an amino acid) helpful too

However, I cant stress enough that for severe OCD that is interfering with normal life, it really is important to see a psychiatrist who you feel comfortable with, and undergo CBT. There are also self help books and websites related to CBT

Correcting chemical and nutritional imbalances, and avoiding aritificial foods (like coloring and nutrasweet/aspartame, splenda/sucralose) etc goes a loooong way to helping, but solid psychotherapeutic intervention is an avenue of help that I really recommend for this kind of OCD

When life brings you to your knees....you're in a good position to pray!

click here for: The Treatments that have Helped My Son

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#15 thoughtsofthemind

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Posted 04 November 2006 - 03:13 AM

I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!




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