Is this possibly an example of ocd that I am missing?

[pixiesmommy]

The voice of reason in my house is MOST often the 2 yr old.

 

Pixie has actually done stuff like what you describe... she will often scream for something IE: "I am HUNGRY!" and then you are trying to feed her and what she is saying and what she is thinking are two different things entirely, and what she is meaning to say is "I am THIRSTY" but we don't know that until later. And even then she will refuse to acknowledge that she has said the wrong word. She'll scream and scream but since she is saying something other than what she is feeling, we have no idea how to help.

 

We have found that the biggest fits are for things like the strawberries you don't have. It helps us if we remember that it is NOT about the strawberries- it is just a way to release that pent up emotion, for whatever reason. When Pixie gets like that, I just keep talking to her softly, reminding myself that the words she is saying don't connect to anything about the situation right now, and then keep trying to propel her forward to school or whatever.

[ajcire]

Thank you for those thoughts pixiesmommy. I am really going too try to separate what is going on and what she is saying. I guess even though I know better I take to so personal.

 

I used to teach special ed... my class was made up of children with autism and fragile x. I had tons of patience for my students. I need to find it for my own kids

 

 

The voice of reason in my house is MOST often the 2 yr old.

 

Pixie has actually done stuff like what you describe... she will often scream for something IE: "I am HUNGRY!" and then you are trying to feed her and what she is saying and what she is thinking are two different things entirely, and what she is meaning to say is "I am THIRSTY" but we don't know that until later. And even then she will refuse to acknowledge that she has said the wrong word. She'll scream and scream but since she is saying something other than what she is feeling, we have no idea how to help.

 

We have found that the biggest fits are for things like the strawberries you don't have. It helps us if we remember that it is NOT about the strawberries- it is just a way to release that pent up emotion, for whatever reason. When Pixie gets like that, I just keep talking to her softly, reminding myself that the words she is saying don't connect to anything about the situation right now, and then keep trying to propel her forward to school or whatever.

[thereishope]

My son went back and forth who he'd freak out more around and who he would probably calm down for more around. There were times, I called my husband at work and he'd have to drive home to calm my son down or give his meds cause I just couldn't get through. But for my husband, at that time, he'd be fine.

 

But, then, most of the time it was I who had to calm him down when he was having meltdowns or high anxiety. I tended to be the more creative thinker of how to get through to him and bring him back. Even though it wasn't my husband's fault I had more patience and more of knack for it, I did find myself at times being mad at my husband for not being able to help.

 

 

 

I guess I better get a big journal to keep my notes in.... she is in pm kindergarten.. so she just left now.. but before that when it was time to eat she asked for 2 different things and then wouldn't eat them and got hysterical that she only wants strawberries (which she knows we don't have any more of)... my once rational child just threw a fit because she wanted me to make strawberries appear out of thin air. It's broke my heart that even my 2 year old knew she was acting crazy.. he looked at her and said, "but we don't have anymore" Ah when the voice of reason is your 2 year old you know you are in trouble. Then she just snapped out of it, it was done and over and she was back to talking to me like nothing happened... she didn't ask for anything and she just went without eating lunch (she had breakfast so maybe she just wasn't that hungry despite her screaming at me that she was starving and I had to get her strawberries).

 

My dh has been away a lot so not sure but the baffling part is that I don't know if she would have pulled this if he was here or not. She might have started but when he told her to stop she probably would have. Maybe I am wrong now though.. things seem different the past few weeks. People (you know, those well meaning friends and family) keep telling me that it doesn't seem like it could be medical if my kids can control who they do it around.... ah.. my pandas son is way more difficult at home for me than at school... at school they think I am crazy if I ask about his behavior.

[MomWithOCDSon]

Peg, reading that just made my heart sink for a minute. I had so little patience for her but imagine if she holds it in and feels safest around me being herself and then I get all upset with her. I need to find a way to not let this get to me or at least to not let her see it get to me. I guess either way, if it's pandas or just her pushing all my buttons I need to not let her see it is doing that. I need to work harder at making myself be the one person who understands them fully. I wish I could redo so many of our last few days.

 

 

I sometimes think of the OCD like a "thinking tic". Tics can be suppressed for a time, but eventually will explode out, right? So why not the OCD? She feels safer letting it out around you. Is that way off base?

 

I think this is SO true, in my experience, also. My DS holds it together for the 2/3 school day he's currently attending, trying his best to be "normal" around his peers and the teachers, and then he just comes home and loses it! There were times when, like you, the school staff probably thought we were kooks because we would insist on a meeting with them at the top of the school year to try and give them a little heads-up about the sorts of behaviors they might see out of him, and then it would be months and months sometimes before ANY of those behaviors actually surfaced in front of them!

 

My son's IEP case manager had a great analogy for it. Imagine your kid's emotional/intellectual energy capacity is like a glass of water that he's constantly taking sips from throughout the day as he needs to draw on it for handling various situations. Depending on the situation and the state of the OCD/PANDAS, by the end of the day, and even sometimes before, his glass gets to "empty," and there's no opportunity to replenish it just then. So, he's literally out of gas, there is no more. At least not until he gets to come home, allow the dam to burst, hopefully get a good night's sleep, and tackle his life all over again the next day!

[Megs_Mom]

Peg, reading that just made my heart sink for a minute. I had so little patience for her but imagine if she holds it in and feels safest around me being herself and then I get all upset with her. I need to find a way to not let this get to me or at least to not let her see it get to me. I guess either way, if it's pandas or just her pushing all my buttons I need to not let her see it is doing that. I need to work harder at making myself be the one person who understands them fully. I wish I could redo so many of our last few days.

 

 

I sometimes think of the OCD like a "thinking tic". Tics can be suppressed for a time, but eventually will explode out, right? So why not the OCD? She feels safer letting it out around you. Is that way off base?

 

I think this is very accurate. Even at 5, children will do anything to hide OCD. They often know it is not rational, even if they claim it is. This is a good thing in many ways (insight) but is does cause them to do and say almost anything to hide the fact that they don't know why they are doing it. This is called "just right OCD" - something feels wrong, but they don't really know why or what - they just know that they have an overwhelming urge to do or touch something, or walk in a certain way, etc. That is the compulsion. There can be a "thought" associated with it (I have to touch that black square 4 times, or my house will burn down) or it can just "feel really wrong" if they don't touch it 4 times. Kind of how you feel on a long flight, when you keep moving around, and you start to feel like you have to stand up or go nuts. (it's worse than that feeling, but it gives you an idea).

 

When children feel that there is a safe person, they will often "hold it in" for that person, and then let it out. Or they may just be able to hide this better with people that don't notice them as much. And when you teach them about it, and tools to help manage it, they may have what seems like a burst, simply because they are not hiding it as well. Really, you might just be seeing more, instead of their hiding it.