helping children with teasing

[ldjsue]

How do people help their children prepare for potential teasing or questions?

[Chemar]

Hi

 

This is possibly the very hardest aspect of having a child who is "different"....

 

For my 14yo son, when his TS manifested around age 10, the change was so very dramatic that he literally "changed" overnight.....and so friends who had known him since preschool were shocked to suddenly see him making odd movements and noises.

The true friends stood by him, but many other kids did tease and mimic him...at my son's request, the teacher allowed him to address the class and explain about TS.......this is something he still does......it really does help.

 

Yes, there are always going to be the insensitive kids who will ridicule and try to bully.....but overall, most show understanding, sympathy and even a kind of respect.

 

When my son was younger, if I needed to intervene, with his approval I did. Thankfully the attempts to victimize him were few, and now he just has such a great sense of humor and attitude, that most kids see beyond the tics and he makes friends easily.

 

 

 

I think the most important thing is to educate your own child about what is happening and so they will be better equipped to educate others.

Also continuously reinforce and build your child's self esteem and confidence...

[ldjsue]

Thank you for your response. It was very helpful. I haven't quite known how to explain the tics to him without making him feel uncomfortable. I haven't wanted to draw more attention to it. Any suggestions?

 

Much thanks.

[Claire]

For starters, I wouldn't put the thought in their head that they might be teased for starters. Just deal with that when it happens.

 

The best prevention in my mind on the playground/at school is to have a strong group of friends. Kids with friends are teased less than those without.

 

A couple of years ago, my son experienced playground teasing from a bully (not for tics, we caught them and stopped them quickly, just some kid kept calling him stupid, though his IQ is 160--remember, they can tease for any reason). We talked to the teacher, but she never intervened. The boy was 2 grades older which made it tougher.

 

Anyway, my son worked on quips back. Funny, abrasive ('chill out', 'whatever'), he just experimented with them Did it stop the boy? No! But it earned him respect among his friends and made him feel less like a helpless passive victim. Being a victim of teasing is not the time to turn the other cheek in our family--passivity leads to helplessness.

 

Education is great, as Chemar says, but logic doesn't apply to every child. Some are pretty messed up, and simply want to make others suffer. My second rule of bullying: I read that bullies pick on a number of kids until they find one where they can get away with it. Be a mother bear and intervene, and they will find an easier target. If all parents did this, they would have no options left. Experiments I read showed zero tolerance works.

 

Claire