Do I have OCD?

[abigail]

OK,

 

So I am starting to think I am a pure O OCD. But it only happens within failed desired relationships.

 

Ok so this is my story. I had been with my BF for about 4 years when I met this guy at a concert. Things were a little craazy and ended up giving him my number. Went to another concert with this guy with a friend and got to talk and get to know him and found I was REALLY attracted to him. But I did email him the next day and let him know I was in a relationship and decided we'd just be friends. So 5 months go by of just emailing back and forth and thinking about him. (I was on the rocks with my bf for about 6 months before I met this guy).

 

So I decide to go for it, I asked this guy to go on a trip to another city with me and figured no guy with a GF would ever agree to do something like that with a girl, and when he agreed, I figured it was safe, that he liked me and he was single. I broke up with my bf and told this guy and then he told me he had a GF! the trip was already planned so I went anyways thinking I would just be good. Well sh$t happened... as things do when two people are left alone. Two months later the guy wouldn't make a solid decision on staying with his gf or not. Well long story short... It didn't work out... He pretty much stayed with his gf. Very very disappointing to me...

 

But now its been months, but I CANT stop thinking about the situation!! I mull over things said, done, how they could of been done differently. I mean you name it I have thought of it over and over and over and over... EVERY SINGLE DAY! And the thoughts are invasive I can't make them stop. I think about it when I wake up, I think about before I goto bed and sometimes I even dream about it. I try to check my thoughts but they still keep coming around.

 

This has happened before with a guy I REALLY liked but couldn't have and I did the same obsessive thinking for about 6months! Until I met someone else I liked. And it only happens when it fails... I mean If I meet someone and it works out and everything is good I don't obsess about anything.. Just when I can't have what I really desired... do I obsess?

 

Is this OCD? How do I make it stop? It makes me very depressed having to re-live the situation everyday in my head and it make me feels crazy....

 

Or is this normal couping with a bad event??? For some reason I don't think this is normal???

 

Are there any tips or tricks to control the thoughts? I really want to get over this, But I can't control these repetitive thoughts in my head! I was thinking of maybe seeing a hypnotist? To make me stop rethinking this over and over and over again?

 

I just want it to STOP!

[CarolynN]

Hello and welcome,

 

Well as to your question regarding whether you have OCD I unfortunately cannot answer that for you. But I did want to share with you what I have done for my unwanted thoughts. Here is a copy of a post I replied to a person calling herself "desperate". Anyhow I hope it helps http://www.latitudes.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=2623 .

 

Hang in there. There is hope for unwanted thoughts.

 

Carolyn

[MJZ]

Hi there,

 

This kind of obsessive thinking is extremely annoying (and I know because I've had it too). About two years ago I met this girl which I really liked, and before I knew it I was in love. Not that I'm the type of guy that falls in love very quickly, but this was really an exceptional case, I've never been so much in love before in my life. I also thought she felt the same about me so we started going on dates and all but then she told me that she really really liked me but she missed the 'spark' that's needed, so she just wanted to stay friends.

Needless to say, her not feeling the spark set my mind on fire into thousands of painful sparks and for about 6 months I had something familiar that you describe: the obsessive thinking about that one person, thinking what could I have done to make it go better, thinking it over and over and over again.

 

Now I'm no expert on the matter but I don't think this is what you call OCD; OCD is when you obsessively make some sort of useless action (like switching on and off the lights 7 times, closing the door 7 times before you go out) and that sort of thing.

I think the thing that you describe is simply called being lovesick, nothing more to it; it can become obsessive, thinking about the person all the time, and sometimes it can drive you crazy, but not some sort of OCD.

 

Anyway, hope I helped.