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Every 5 years I quit smoking. Then I smoke for 1 year.


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Just a vent here. Truly. I have a habit of quitting smoking for about a 5 year stretch....Then I start again.

 

Call it Pandas, Sensory Issues, ODD. Whatever, when it hits the fan I smoke.

 

Coming off my last 1 1/2 year stint of my love for Marlboro Menthyl Silvers 100 for about 1 week now...I can't help but think, "Really!!! After all I have been through??? I am supposed to give up my one vice when I still have ONE child to get through the wreckage???"

 

"I have to cook gluten, Dairy, Egg free and not smoke?".

 

To please the WORLD I have to give up my one thing that gives me piece of mind for 1 1/2 minutes ten times a day??? UGGGh.

 

Yes. I have pinky promised my Pandas child and I have done it.

 

It is just that right now, when my food allergy child, on a play date ate gluten two days in a row that aggravates me, and begs the question, "Who really wants to live to 90 anyway???".

 

Q

Edited by qannie47
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Funny - I quit in 2006 and cheated here and there and really quit for good in 2010. Then we got our PANDAS dx and I'm back to my parliaments. Its been over a year now. I can't forse me giving it up anytime soon.......

 

I know I have to eventually though......

 

I'm 40 now.....

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I love that you can be real here. I appreciate and value that. i could have put all my frustration, anxiety and anger towards something else. But instead i took up the easiest most familiar vice I knew: smoking.

 

Its the only thing that helps me through the really uncertain times. I see it for what it is, I am hurting myself but I am also too weak to stop right now.

 

And to know I am not alone in this makes me feel a little better.

 

GOOD LUCK qannie! You are doing a wonderful thing and I know you will be able to kick the habit. I am rooting for you!!

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One person's cigarette relapse is another person's too-frequent burger king drive through, or 10 am glass of wine (not that I know anyone who would do that)

 

Ahh, yes. The wine, although mine tends to be between 9pm to midnight. As soon as DD hits the sheets.....

 

My MIL had good luck stopping smoking with hypnotherapy.

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