Teenagers Say the Darndest Things

[MomWithOCDSon]

DS, a week away from his 16th birthday, penned an email tonight to a younger boy who's suffering from PANDAS. He was responding, in particular, to this other boy's anxiety over school, perfectionism and related issues.

 

When he'd finished his email, he came upstairs to share with me and DH the ideas he'd shared, and a key insight was born from this experience.

 

He reminded me and his dad of how, when he starts feeling overwhelmed and complaining of feeling "stressed," DH and I frequently advise him to just slow down, do some deep breathing, "re-LAX," we say. DS finally articulated that, for him, this never works. When he forcibly slows his body down while his mind is spinning, the disparity between his "stiller" body and his racing brain is emphasized, and the anxiety builds rather than subsides. So if he's sitting, breathing deeply, etc. because this is the "cure" that's been described, rather than walking, pacing, maybe even sometimes rapidly bouncing or juggling a ball, etc., he feels MORE at odds with himself rather than LESS. Now that he's said it out loud, it makes sense to me, but that concept completely escaped me before.

 

So his advice to this other boy was that, when the anxiety gets to him, to DO something . . . turn his brain to something productive and focus-worthy, even if he doesn't finish whatever it is he starts. That in the mere act of corralling his racing brain with activity, rather than trying to enforce an artificial "stillness," the anxiety will dissipate.

 

I thought that was worth sharing.

[Ozimum]

That makes so-o-o much sense! Clever boy! My DS now tells me to "calm down!" Cheeky!

[JuliaFaith]

Momwith...I hope you realize your son is amazing! Thanks for sharing!

 

Ozimum--Totally, have heard this recently from my 15 yrs. old! His Psych. today said it is perfectly normal for his age.

Edited February 22, 2013 by JuliaFaith

[Mayzoo]

Mine is 11 and tells me to "try and be patient please mommy".

[3boysmom]

OMG, I think my son figured that out as well, he paces and we say "sit down and relax" and he says "that never works" and then he grabs his basketball and shoots hoops and runs drills until he is soaked with sweat. Makes sense, how come I didn't make that connection? Tell him thank you.

Edited February 22, 2013 by 3boysmom

[cobbiemommy]

My son paces when his brain is in a swirl. He needs to be busy. My mother used to tell us kids, "Do something, even if it's wrong!" She probably did not mean it that way, but when I get stressed I try to stay busy (this is when things get a deep cleaning!)

 

Your son is pretty smart!!

[Mary M]

I love when our kids can "label and define" the feelings associated with PANDAS. It helps us all "put it in perspective".

[StillHopeful]

Wow! It makes a lot of sense. Will share with my son. He gets hyper when he has anxiety lately and doesn't know what to do with himself. I too am always telling him to calm down, breath deep. Guess I should tell him to jump around, exercise and keep moving. Thank your son for us.