Private School

[JenniferG]

We are seriously considering enrolling our dd9 in private school this fall. Very small class size and contemplating keeping her in 3rd grade instead going to 4th. She has a "placement" screening today.

 

Has anyone considered this? Spoke to Dr. T. And he thought it would benefit her because of anxiety and the fact that she does very well in the fall and then ends up getting sick at Christmas and doing poorly in Spring. I worry that moving her AND holding her might affect her confidence. As most private schools, the academics are more rigorous, but , she will be in 3rd again.

 

I'm so confused.

[airial95]

This is a tough one, and a decision only you can make for your child. I am a big proponent of private schools - having gone to them my whole life.

 

I can only share with you our thought process when choosing a school for our daughter this year (dx with PANDAS right after the school year started). We were choosing a school for her based on what her brothers needs were going to be when he starts K next year. (He is our severe PANDAS kid).

 

He's currently in the EELP pre-K (special ed) through the school district - he's been there for 2 years, and because of his late birthday he'll be there another full year.

 

These were the some of things that were important to us in making the choice:

 

1.) Class size/configuration - fewer students = less exposure, how/where are specials (gym, music, etc..) done.

2.) How well are they willing to work with our IEP?

3.) Attendance policies - are they willing to work with us keeping them home as a preventative measure when strep is going around?

4.) Are the kids allowed to work at their own pace? Our son is exceptionally bright (tested as gifted in some of his early assessments) but he regresses significantly during flares - is the school willing to let him work to his potential when he's healthy (even move ahead) to mitigate the impact when he does regress?

5.) How does staff/parent communication work - how responsive are the teachers?

 

For us - we ultimately chose a charter school - and we couldn't be more pleased. They have allowed my daughter to work above her grade level (turns out she's pretty bright too and we just never noticed - next to her brother; everyone always just called her the "funny one" )

 

They have been wonderful with everything - from the school nurse, to the principal to the teachers. They have been very aggressive with notifying us when there's strep in the classroom, and are going to be assisting us in getting our daughter an IEP this year.

 

As for holding her back - again, you know your child best and what would be best for her. I would think, however, that if she were held back when transferring to a new school it wouldn't be as bad, since the new kids won't know that she was held back.

 

Hope any of this helps!

[LindaMW]

It is always a hard decision to make for our children. My son has been in a private school since the beginning, he is entering 4th grade this year. Now all our Pandas trouble started in the middle of 3rd grade. Again this is just our experience, I know it is different for everyone. He ended up missing about two months of school and unfortunately, the school did not have an EEP or were they able to provide a tutor. So again, it is different for every school district, some do provide a tutor at no cost. That may be something you want to ask about. How do they handle if a child is out sick for any reason. In our case we had to pay for the tutor, along with continuing to pay tuition. That was no fun, plus throw in the medical bills on top of it. Now this year he will be returning, but I now have a doctor who is on board the Pandas train and hopefully will help us.

 

Now on the flip side, it is a little easier with anxiety because the classes are smaller and the teachers have a little bit more one on one, that was good for us.

 

Every situation is different but it is always wise to get as much information as possible, you are doing the right thing. I would ask about all their policies for these extreme cases so you can better make a decision.

 

Good luck with the decision you do make and I hope all is well for your family.

 

Linda

[EAMom]

We are seriously considering enrolling our dd9 in private school this fall. Very small class size and contemplating keeping her in 3rd grade instead going to 4th. She has a "placement" screening today.

 

Has anyone considered this? Spoke to Dr. T. And he thought it would benefit her because of anxiety and the fact that she does very well in the fall and then ends up getting sick at Christmas and doing poorly in Spring. I worry that moving her AND holding her might affect her confidence. As most private schools, the academics are more rigorous, but , she will be in 3rd again.

 

I'm so confused.

 

Number 1 in my book...how does your dd feel about being held back?

 

Also, where is she age wise (ie when is her birthday)? if she were near the age cut off for grades, I would probably be more likely to consider holding her back. If she is already one of the older one in her current grade that is another thing...consider that she may wind up being 1-2 years older than everyone else in her grade (depending how how many people are holding their kids back).

 

My friend with (non-pandas) twins decided not to hold her girls back (Oct birthday, so she could have redshirted them--cutoff here is Dec 1, a lot of people redshirt fall birthday kids). She was glad she didn't since they did fine academically. Also, one of the girls hit puberty relatively early (got her period in 5th grade). The mom was thinking, gee, if I had kept her back, she would've gotten her period in 4th grade...so that was a weird factor that made her glad she didn't red-shirt them. Or, if she is tall for her age, that might be another thing that would make her feel weird about being in an even younger grade. But, that is my perspective...I think "fitting" in is important for many kids. Definitely is for mine, doesn't want to be called out as different, and I think physically different is part of that (too tall or too physically mature).

Edited August 10, 2012 by EAMom

[Nearlydoc]

Our daughter is in a pull out exceptional student class in private school. Our hope is that she can eventually join the traditional class. If that happens we will hold her back.Changing schools is a great time to repeat a grade. No one but the administration, the child's teacher and the parents will know.

 

Private schools have alot more flexibiltiy regarding attendance and the law. It would also depend on the school. DD21 went to a private school with strict attendance policies, but some are more willing to be flexible.

 

We do find that the IEP is not followed as attentively as it would be in a public school nor are there additional services.

 

Hope this helps.

[JenniferG]

Thank you so much! This really helps. My dd is 9. She just turned nine in June. All the girls in her clas will be 10 this fall. And she is really petite 4'1" and 56lbs. She is very tiny when she is with her friends. And this does bother her. We had a tour Monday and brought Meg in today for a tour and a placement screening. They said she would "ok" in 4th (where she is supposed to go) but socially is not ready. They think she would fit in well in their 3rd grade class. She could be more of a leader and build her confidence. That's exactly why we went searching for private schools. She absolutely loved it and asked to go there.

 

Here is my fear......she is age regressing a little right now.....I wonder if/when she "returns" she will be upset and not like it.

[mdmom]

My two cents....

 

See if you can purchase tuition insurance. This really came in handy when my non-PANS (she's got Lyme) daughter could no longer go to school this year because of her illnesses. Just check policy to see if treating for medical illness before policy goes into effect is an exclusion.