Is OCD a big problem in my relationship?

[love88]

Im not really sure where to start because I'm new to forums and i had really never thought of them but maybe i can find some help or at least talk to someone who can relate to my problems...my main problem is my relationship right now, it seems like it is hanging over my head and thats now how a loving relationship should be...its not how i want it to be...i feel like i could jus sit in my bedroom all day and never come out because i am ashamed of the way i am and i am scared that i will never be able to change and that it will always affect my relationships forever...

 

ever since i was little i can remember obsessions and compulsions

 

the first problem i can remember is that when i had to do my daily chore of feeding my cat that i was always scared of the cat food getting on my hands and that i had to wash my hands and i know it is normal to wash your hands after touching something like catfood but i was scared about it and i felt anxiety over it if i didnt do it and i didnt want to do my chore because i didnt want to feel the anxiety of making sure i was clean after i did it and that no one would get sick from me touching the cat food and then touching them or something of that nature

 

i also remember when i read a book i would read sentences over and over because i was afraid that if someone asked me if i read the book that if i hadnt read every word of the book then i would be lying

 

i also had a huge fear of AIDS in middle school and i would worry every day about if i touched blood and using public restrooms and i would come home from school every day and have a set of questions that i would ask my mom and she would have to console me about them, she even threatened to take me to the doctor and get an AIDS test, this is before we knew that i had OCD

 

those are JUST A FEW of my problems that i had in the past...

 

Now the main things i deal with are making sure that things are plugged in tightly because im scared that they could catch on fire

 

turning light switches on and off repetitively until i feel ok about it, until i feel it is done right, especially before i go to bed or before i leave somewhere because i am afraid that i will be worried while i am gone or cant get to sleep because of it

 

also i worry about if curling irons or hair straighteners are turned off, i unplug them even if i know they are off just to be sure

 

i check the stove over and over if i use it so usually i just avoid cooking anything in the stove because i dont want to worry

 

washing my hands until i feel clean after i have touched something i think might infect me or make me sick or make someone else sick after i have touched them

 

there are other things but those are just a few examples that affect my daily life

 

my main concern right now though is my boyfriend, he doesnt know that i have OCD and we have been having other issues anyway but my OCD makes our problems worse i think, i dont know if i should tell him or not because i dont want him to think im trying to get him to feel sorry for me and im already insecure, im worried that if he knows that i have OCD then i will just feel more insecure about our relationship because i will feel inferior. we have had a pretty good relationship up until about the past month. he has a really fun and silly personality and i have always loved that about him but he says that for about the past month that i have been trying to change him and that i get mad everytime he is just trying to have fun and be himself. we have had other problems in our relationship besides this but i think my obsession with the fact that him not being serious=him not caring about me has alot to do with our problem and i get carried away in thinking that if he is not serious all the time and completely focused on me then he doesnt care about me anymore and is getting tired of me, i mean...i guess that can be a normal thing, but i feel like it relates to my OCD because i havent been taking my medicine like i should and just the normal effects of OCD, now i feel like if i dont want to have fun all the time then he will not want to be with me and if i am not in the mood to joke around he will think that i am trying to change his personality and we have argued and argued over this fact WITHOUT him knowing that i have OCD (Should i tell him?) i told him that i have some problems that are not his fault and that may be why i have been acting differently for the past month but that i dont want to tell him and i just dont know what to do because i dont want to feel like i am on edge at all time when i am around him and everything that happens i always talk myself into believing that it is my fault...even if it isnt...i am SOOOOOO confused, if anyone has any advice for me, please help me! i need the advice of someone who knows what it feels like to have OCD or someone you love has OCD...i would greatly appreciate it if you have any words of wisdom...

Sincerely,

Confused Teen (18)

[Chemar]

Hi and welcome

 

there are both prescription and natural ways to help control OCD and I hope you will see a physician or psychologist who can guide you on this. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a very helpful treatment too.

 

If you are not on a medication for your OCD you may want to consider 5HTP, an over the counter treatment that boosts serotonin, which is deficient in people with OCD.

Please note that 5HTP cannot be used with medications like SSRIs (Paxil,Luvox,Prozac etc) as they have a very serious interaction

The medications tend to have side effects but in general 5HTP is well tolerated

 

As to your relationship, HONESTY is essential in a relationship and I personally feel you should tell your boyfriend that you have OCD. How can he understand some of your behaviours if you dont let him know what is causing them?

 

Please do try to get professional help for your OCD. It is so unneccary for you to suffer with it when there are ways of dealing with it.

As an extra bit of info...try to avoid junk food and food with artificial coloring as well as any artificial sweeteners like Splenda(sucralose) or Nutrasweet(aspartame), plus MSG etc, as these are all triggers for OCD

[love88]

Hi and welcome

 

there are both prescription and natural ways to help control OCD and I hope you will see a physician or psychologist who can guide you on this. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a very helpful treatment too.

 

If you are not on a medication for your OCD you may want to consider 5HTP, an over the counter treatment that boosts serotonin, which is deficient in people with OCD.

Please note that 5HTP cannot be used with medications like SSRIs (Paxil,Luvox,Prozac etc) as they have a very serious interaction

The medications tend to have side effects but in general 5HTP is well tolerated

 

As to your relationship, HONESTY is essential in a relationship and I personally feel you should tell your boyfriend that you have OCD. How can he understand some of your behaviours if you dont let him know what is causing them?

 

Please do try to get professional help for your OCD. It is so unneccary for you to suffer with it when there are ways of dealing with it.

As an extra bit of info...try to avoid junk food and food with artificial coloring as well as any artificial sweeteners like Splenda(sucralose) or Nutrasweet(aspartame), plus MSG etc, as these are all triggers for OCD

 

Hi there

 

i am now taking zoloft for OCD and Strattera for ADD. i have seen a therapist ever since i was a passenger in a serious car accident about two years ago and my mother thought i had brain damage or something to that effect but my therapist also helped me with my OCD and i have also seen a neurologist who diagnosed me with ADD. i have never done any cognitive behavioural therapy though. i would like to know more about it though. do you have to see a specialist or do you do it on your own?

 

i know that i should be honest with my boyfriend and i did tell him that i had a problem that had nothing to do with him that may be causing part of our problems and he doesnt understand why i wont tell him what it is but it is just embarassing for me and im ashamed to tell him i know that i shouldnt be but i am and i think i will feel really insecure around him if i dotell him and his whole family will want to know too and i just dont think i am ready for that...i told him that i would tell him when i felt comfortable..i dont know if that was the right thing to do but im just scared right now...we are doing better now but i am still worried...

 

thanks for the tidbit about sweets...i never knew that and i will keep it in mind...

[Chemar]

Hi again

 

the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is usually done by a psychologist, but once you have learned the techniques etc it is something you are then able to put into practice on your own. It is really important to feel comfortable with the therapist and to like their approach...some can be a bit "controlling and domineering" and that is not conducive to success........much better to have a gentle personality who has compassion and understanding

 

It helped my son tremendously when his OCD and Tourette tics were really severe. Since he has been on the natural treatments and stopped medications, his symptoms are almost non-existant

 

Hope your boyfriend will be understanding and helpful once he knows the challenges you are dealing with. Being able to share burdens as well as the good stuff is what distinguishes a true deep relationship from something more superficial!

[love88]

Hi again

 

the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is usually done by a psychologist, but once you have learned the techniques etc it is something you are then able to put into practice on your own. It is really important to feel comfortable with the therapist and to like their approach...some can be a bit "controlling and domineering" and that is not conducive to success........much better to have a gentle personality who has compassion and understanding

 

It helped my son tremendously when his OCD and Tourette tics were really severe. Since he has been on the natural treatments and stopped medications, his symptoms are almost non-existant

 

Hope your boyfriend will be understanding and helpful once he knows the challenges you are dealing with. Being able to share burdens as well as the good stuff is what distinguishes a true deep relationship from something more superficial!

 

Hello

 

if i went to a psychologist to get the therapy, would i have to get a prescription for it in order for the insurance to cover it because thats how i got the therapy before? when i got in the car accident, i got settlement money and the doctor prescribed therapy for me so i dont know how that works.

 

i think it would be a big help for me from what ive heard of other ppls experiences and i plan on looking into it

 

i hope he will too..thanks for all the advice