Dandelion Exposure Therapy

[butterflymom]

==

Edited February 3, 2016 by butterflymom

[philamom]

That is one giant leap you made! Way to go! My daughter has also had a lot of these strange irrational fears over the years. For my daughter, what I would do next is to see if she would like to make some kind of small habitat (homemade tiny bed) for the dandelion, keeping it in the baggie of course. Maybe make it a fun project to create it a beautiful home. Then see if she is willing to bring it into the house, room, exc.

 

Also, do you know what is driving the fear? Sometimes it's so hard to figure, especially when they're not willing to discuss it. Do you think its the feel of them? Maybe she's worried about allergies?

Edited May 6, 2011 by philamom

[LNN]

Yes, awesome job - both of you!! Make sure you celebrate her success - it must've taken a lot of courage and trust on her part.

I second philamom - try to get the fear articulated. You may think you're making great progress only to later find out that the OCD fear morphed on you and her mind, in finding a way to touch it, negotiated with OCD and let it devise a new ritual in order to allow her to touch the seed. But if you can get her to utter the fear, some of the spell will be broken and you have a better chance of addressing the root of it, not just the outward ritual.

 

My DD and I play a guessing game. Are you afraid the seed will swallow the house and then burp house juice over the whole neighborhood and smother all the squirrels? (I make up absurd things to get her to laugh) and hopefully after being so ridiculously wide of the mark, she takes pity on me and either confesses the fear or gives me hints so I can get closer to the mark. The root fear is often something I never would've imagined, but once I know it, I can totally understand how it could be terrifying. Then, we're able to develop funny songs and our own anti-OCD "rituals"/exercises that address the fear, not just the compulsion. It can still morph, but it helps her learn to talk about it and name the fear (something she has trouble with even in non-OCD situations).

 

I don't have specific next steps for the dandelions - sounds like you're on the right trail and you're more likely to know what she can tolerate next. If she's able, she may be able to sit with you and make a list of steps she'd like to accomplish in the next week/month (some not too overwhelming timeline). Maybe more seeds in the bag, or just sitting at the table with only one seed out of the bag, a closed bud - where you can see the silk but it's still safely wrapped inside the bud, or eventually a full puff in a windless room...and remember the rewards at each step, even just for trying.

 

Again, congratulations to both of you for your hard work. Sounds like some ice cream is in order!

[philamom]

This is geared more for younger kids, but my daughter will still draw pictures of her fears. If your daughter is afraid dandelions are taking over the world (like my lawn at times lol) you may draw a picture of people stomping on them (we like to add funny/strange faces) and then a picture of herself accomplishing the task. Or if she is afraid of touching them, you could draw pictures of what the dandelion may feel like (feathers, cotton balls). You could make a dandelion patch with cotton balls glued to straws in a shoebox lid. If she is afraid they will make her sneeze, you may need to address the fear of allergies/sneezing. Or is it possible, she may be afraid of bees that they attract. Just some thoughts..

 

A good activity book (with places to draw your worries) is "Worry too Much", A kid's guide to overcoming anxiety by Dawn Huebner.

Edited May 6, 2011 by philamom

[Jordma1211]

You don't know how relieved I was to read this post!!! My 9-year-old daughter has the same exact fear to what sounds like the same extent. It started around 18 months as well, and we have no idea why. We've even tried therapy, which really hasn't helped. She dreads Spring and will avoid going outside at all costs during the high "fuzzy" days. She calls them white fuzzies and it has gone from just the dandelions to any white fuzzies flying around. We are at a loss of what to do. She hates being terrified of them and thinks she's the only one in the world who is. Every year we pray that her fear is gone, but it never is. We are still trying things, and I will let you know what works if anything. Please do the same!

 

My daughter has a very weird irrational fear of dandelion clocks. These are the white fluffy dandelions that have gone to seed, not the yellow flowers. Yes, the ones that all children love to pick and blow and kick. She has been terribly afraid of them since she was 18 months old. She is now 8, and it is a problem every spring. She screams hysterically and will run away, even into the street, to get away from one. She calls them "black flowers" and finds them menacing and is afraid one will brush her leg.

 

We have checked out every book from the library about dandelions and read it (there are actually a lot of them). We have watched time lapse videos on you tube of dandelions closing, transforming, and opening into seed clocks. She's okay with this, sitting in my lap, since they aren't real. I have picked one and pulled it apart and attempted to approach her with a few seeds in my hand. She freaks out.

 

Tonight I took a snack baggie outside, and put ONE dandelion seed in it. It was the tiny seed, tiny stem, and the fluff on top. I brought it in and put it under our microscope, which the kids have been pretty interested in, as Grandpa just got it for us a month ago. So, she was willing to look at it through the microscope, and we talked about how the fluff hairs were all shiny, white and silky, like a silk blouse, or her white stuffed dog, or a cotton ball or pom pom. She was willing to hold the snack baggie (this was REALLY big). . . . I think she felt the baggie protected her from it.

 

However, she would not run her finger over the seed in the bag. I thought that was enough for tonight. I think tomorrow I will put TWO seeds in the bag and see if she can hold it. At bedtime, I had her repeat things after me, like "Dandelions won't hurt me." "Dandelions are fluffy like my stuffed animals." "Dandelion seeds are babies that want to grow into new flowers." Etc. . . .

 

This is the weirdest, most irrational fear I have ever heard of, but I figured many of you can relate.

 

Any other ideas for helping her with this?

[butterflymom]

=

Edited February 3, 2016 by butterflymom

[Jordma1211]

I tried to respond to the post again, and it didn't look like it came up. In case I'm repeating myself, sorry! No, neither of my children have been diagnosed with anything. I had googled fear of dandelions (as I'm sure you've done a million times!) and your post came up. I was so excited to see it, I quick joined the board just so I could get in touch with you!! My daughter, has already asked about being pen pals. She was so incredibly happy to see that she wasn't the only one. I actually just now had to pull her out of camp because they were flying around everywhere. I can't believe how much this affects her. It's so horrible because I feel like there's nothing I can do. One therapist tried the baggy, and it didn't really work with her. She wouldn't ever go any further than them in the baggy. Anyway, my email address is jordma1211@gmail.com. Please email me and I'll send you our mailing address. I am so happy I have someone to talk about this with, who understands!!! I'm hoping we could help each other out, and maybe our daughters will be able to help each other out as well. Here's hoping!!!

[JRA410]

Hello, all.

 

Wow, was I surprised and relieved to read this! I am 39 years old and I also have the irrational fear of dandelions, even as an adult, even though I know there is nothing they can do to hurt me. I've been that way now for a long time... almost as long as I can remember. There was a time when I didn't feel that way, but I barely remember that far back. I'm not sure what happened to cause it. I think another kid may have startled me by touching me with one or blowing the seeds into my face and eyes, but I can't remember for sure. All I know now is I will go ten miles out of my way to steer clear of them. I don't like being near them. I don't like to look at them. I don't like the thought of feeling them (even though I adore stuffed animals, feather boas, and other fuzzy items). I don't want the seeds touching me, and you couldn't pay me enough to pick one!!!!!! I also don't like any other plant that resembles one. There is one plant called Yellow Goat's Beard I think, and it looks the same but much bigger! I think I'd be petrified of those!!!! Luckily, I've only seen them in pictures. It's odd though, sometimes the fears are not as strong and sometimes very strong. I can look at pictures of them, even sometimes touch the picture, but I find them so repulsive I can't do it for long. We had a cookbook once with a picture of one on the front. I ended up cutting it off and throwing it away. One time in college, one of my friends brought one very near for a few seconds when we were doing an outdoor assignment. I managed to reign in the fears so as not to look like a "sissy" in front of my friends. But then last year I got out of the car one evening just after dark only to find one knee-high and almost touching me on the leg as I opened the car door. I screamed at the top of my lungs and scared the neighborhood. However, if I'm on the lawn mower or the golf cart, they don't bother me as much. My dad has always tried to get rid of most of them, especially near the house. We've gone through gallons and gallons of weed killer. The neighbors know about it and they know that we won't tolerate their having a yard full of them for them to spread all over, so they keep them under control, too. They're almost gone now, but in the early spring when they're really bad, I will definitely alter my outdoor plans if there are a lot of them around. It is probably important that I also explain that I have been legally blind, but with a minor amount of usable vision, since I was born. I also have some pretty significant allergies and asthma now, but we didn't know about that when I was younger. I've often wondered if any other people felt this way. I couldn't imagine in a world of millions of people I'd be the only one. The rest of my fears are pretty logical.. tornadoes, fires, etc. This is the only one that is really unfounded.

[JoyBop]

Congrats on taking those first steps to overcoming her fears!! I can totally relate. My son is terrified if feathers and most of all chewing gum. Apparently its called chichelephobia and Oprah Winfrey has it too. Some fears can be articulated, but others are just irrational and have no reason or rhyme. I think those are the hardest for families to deal with. You are doing an amazing job!!

We started a CBT program with a therapist who has helped many PANDAS patients. They are doing the program called "talking back to OCD " by John March. You can buy it on Amazin and do the program on your own as well if you are not working with anyone. You may find it helpful.

[JoyBop]

Sorry somehow posted this twice.

Edited June 2, 2013 by JoyBop

[peglem]

My daughter does not have a dandelion fear that I know of, but she has just come up w/ a strategy for approaching things she fears: she films them. It seems to make the experience less real and more like watching a video.