thereishope Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Thank you to everyone who sent prayers and positive thoughts when I had my freak out moment last week when I thought I might have strep. To recap, my son has been in full remission since Sept 2009. So when I looked in the mirror last Sat and saw white spots covering my tonsil, I had a freak out moment. So, the rapid came back negative, the culture came back negative, and the white spots are now gone. For those that asked, my son's PANDAS behaviors stayed stable. Someone else mentioned karma and how if we continue to help others hopefully our children will stay well. Well, I used to hope that then when Buster and EAMom's dd got sick agian, I knew good karma had nothing to do with it. That was my kick back to reality that no matter how we try to stay in the "good graces" with God or karma, we can lose our kids at any moment. I mean, if Buster and EAMom doesn't have good karma, who does? The reality is no matter how long my son is well, my life will never be normal again. Every time he wants to change his shirt because he decided he didn't want to wear that school, I worry. Every time he washed his hands when it's not after using the bathroom, I question him. But then, I know I can't fully relax and just live life. If I did that, he could slowly drift away and I wouldn't see the early signs. Anyway, again, thank you to everyone. I appreciate it!
Fixit Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Thank you to everyone who sent prayers and positive thoughts when I had my freak out moment last week when I thought I might have strep. To recap, my son has been in full remission since Sept 2009. So when I looked in the mirror last Sat and saw white spots covering my tonsil, I had a freak out moment. So, the rapid came back negative, the culture came back negative, and the white spots are now gone. For those that asked, my son's PANDAS behaviors stayed stable. Someone else mentioned karma and how if we continue to help others hopefully our children will stay well. Well, I used to hope that then when Buster and EAMom's dd got sick agian, I knew good karma had nothing to do with it. That was my kick back to reality that no matter how we try to stay in the "good graces" with God or karma, we can lose our kids at any moment. I mean, if Buster and EAMom doesn't have good karma, who does? The reality is no matter how long my son is well, my life will never be normal again. Every time he wants to change his shirt because he decided he didn't want to wear that school, I worry. Every time he washed his hands when it's not after using the bathroom, I question him. But then, I know I can't fully relax and just live life. If I did that, he could slowly drift away and I wouldn't see the early signs. Anyway, again, thank you to everyone. I appreciate it! i have no words...just tears of this reality...
matis_mom Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Thank you to everyone who sent prayers and positive thoughts when I had my freak out moment last week when I thought I might have strep. To recap, my son has been in full remission since Sept 2009. So when I looked in the mirror last Sat and saw white spots covering my tonsil, I had a freak out moment. So, the rapid came back negative, the culture came back negative, and the white spots are now gone. For those that asked, my son's PANDAS behaviors stayed stable. Someone else mentioned karma and how if we continue to help others hopefully our children will stay well. Well, I used to hope that then when Buster and EAMom's dd got sick agian, I knew good karma had nothing to do with it. That was my kick back to reality that no matter how we try to stay in the "good graces" with God or karma, we can lose our kids at any moment. I mean, if Buster and EAMom doesn't have good karma, who does? The reality is no matter how long my son is well, my life will never be normal again. Every time he wants to change his shirt because he decided he didn't want to wear that school, I worry. Every time he washed his hands when it's not after using the bathroom, I question him. But then, I know I can't fully relax and just live life. If I did that, he could slowly drift away and I wouldn't see the early signs. Anyway, again, thank you to everyone. I appreciate it! Hi Vickie, I totally see what you are saying and have the same feelings sometimes. Right now ds is showing sporadic OCD/anxiety, and I know it could explode any time, but I try to remain thankful for the progress he has made, which has been inmense! Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. I think this disease takes each family into a journey where we learn to trust God and be thankful for every little "normal" moment
Kayanne Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Thank God! I am really glad that it was not significant for your family!
thereishope Posted October 8, 2010 Author Report Posted October 8, 2010 (edited) I fully agree. I have a gratitude for life and for every happy moment and non-eventful moment we experience. When my son does things that I know darn well would have been turned into a meltdown, OCD, etc if PANDAS were present and he just goes on like a "typical" child, I pause and I smile. Even after a year of having him back, that joy never fades. I thank God on a daily basis for blessing us. Hi Vickie,I totally see what you are saying and have the same feelings sometimes. Right now ds is showing sporadic OCD/anxiety, and I know it could explode any time, but I try to remain thankful for the progress he has made, which has been inmense! Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. I think this disease takes each family into a journey where we learn to trust God and be thankful for every little "normal" moment Edited October 8, 2010 by Vickie
KaraM Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Glad you're ok. If it's any comfort, you are not alone. I react the same way you do whenever any of us gets a soar throat. I used to worry about eye rolling at the doctor's - but no more - I'm over that. I also analyze every move my daughter makes - even though she has been relatively stable for the last couple of months. I also try to appreciate all of the normal moments now - not worrying about wearing my shoes into her room or sitting on her bed or pouring milk from the wrong bottle... It's the little things in life that make us happy, isn't it...
matis_mom Posted October 8, 2010 Report Posted October 8, 2010 Glad you're ok. If it's any comfort, you are not alone. I react the same way you do whenever any of us gets a soar throat. I used to worry about eye rolling at the doctor's - but no more - I'm over that. I also analyze every move my daughter makes - even though she has been relatively stable for the last couple of months. I also try to appreciate all of the normal moments now - not worrying about wearing my shoes into her room or sitting on her bed or pouring milk from the wrong bottle... It's the little things in life that make us happy, isn't it... Isn't it amazing how it's all a matter of perspective? Little things most families take for granted are such a joy to us! And yes, about those sore throats, getting all anxious when anyone seems to be coming down with something, going to the doctor almost weekly to check out this or that, and the eye rolling, oh yes! But, as God would have it, that is the way I found out I have Lyme, I've had it two years at least... it probably would have been many more months/years, and I would have wound up in a lot worse shape if I hadn't kept on going back to the doctor on account of my swollen tonsils and red throat!
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