Need immediate feedback please

[RNmom]

We love our son's home bound teachers.

DS14 is now 6 weeks post PEX.

He is just starting to show improvement.

We have made the somewhat "radical" choice to keep him 100% home bound for three months post -PEX until his immune system rebuilds itself.

 

Of all things, one of ds14's home bound teachers has 3 young children - 2 of them are back in school - and today one is sick with a fever and runny nose...

(AND, BTW, another child is being worked up for PANDAS: tics with strep infection last spring. But they are currently with the same doc who could not diagnose our ds14 PANDAS 2 years ago...)

 

Here is my question: There is a potential for untreated strep in this sweet young family. There is certainly an illness going on in it now. This teacher canceled today's visit (very thoughtful) but mentioned that they do not go to the doctor right away for things and that she was going to "wait and see" how her child's illness progressed.

 

I remember making a joke last summer to a member of our family (who is a physician) that "there is such thing as routine illness in our family."

 

Since PEX no one has gotten into our house with so much as a "slight sniffle."

 

This home bound teacher very thoughtfully suggested we talk about this issue. I am grateful to her.

 

Now, how do I proceed?

 

Let her come to our house as long as she feels fine? Require that her kids be well too? Make her get strep tests on her sick kids?? It is awkward as she did share that they do not go to the doctor right away for illnesses. I get the impression they give a lot of time with illnesses for "things to work themselves out." (BTW, if they do have a child with PANDAS that approach has some implications...)

 

I did give this teacher some medical articles and good internet sites about PANDAS. Also, our current docs info... She wants to learn more for her possible PANDAS child.

 

How do I balance all these needs, keep my son's needs first (which includes protecting his health and his education), and be helpful to this mom?

 

Do I nip this potential problem in the bud and ask for another homebound teacher? I know this one would understand. (She said that she does not want to create problems.) I have to talk with her and make a decision fast. Input from this forum would help me think things through.

 

No pressure on anyone to be "responsible" for my final choice - I just truly need to "talk this through...." Thanks in advance to anyone who might respond :-)

[Fixit]

maybe if its just this week...you can ask for another or skip this weeks lesson until you had time to digest how you want to procede....

it seems like this connection just came to you and you might want to think it over....

 

you will be hard pressed to not have any exposure....

you go to the grocery store...and touch things...

it is hard...

i feel like you ..in that i may do the same thing and be homebound if i do a big gun...i mean after all this time.research, crying, worrying.distress, money..it almost seems a small price at this point...

 

i would like to hear others thoughts on this too,

especially those who have done pex

[norcalmom]

Personally, I'd get another teacher. The whole point of keep him home is to avoid and minimize this type of contact. You probably have less strep (and illnesses in gerneral) with a group of twenty 14 year olds (sitting at induvidual desks facing away from each other), than a family with 3 kids under 10 - one will always have something!if she thinks she has a pandas kid..and possible untreated strep in the house "working itself out" ..no way!!

I'd assume whatever is in her house is a good chance will be in yours.

[matis_mom]

That's a tricky situation. Here are some random thoughts that are going through my head...

- Since strep is transmitted by dropplets, could she wear a mask?

- Besides the kids being sick now, it could be the case that she is the carrier (as has been the case for many of us parents)

- Did you ever consider homeschooling?

- Could you buy a box of rapids and give it to her?

 

I would do what I could to keep a teacher that understands the situation, and try to help her with her own situation, but of course your son is first priority. Maybe you can just take a two week break or something?

 

If she does come, don't forget the hand sanitizer, especially since she'll be touching his pencil/books/etc.

 

Hope I'm not confusing you more here!

[thereishope]

Talk about stress! I have a question about her possible PANDAS child. Did she tell you if she knows her child had strep and, if so, got treated or does she think the strep healed itself. Perhaps nicely remind her that parents can carry strep without symptoms and it may be in the family's best interest to rule out strep in the parents as well.

 

Realistically, you cannot make her test her kids for strep whenever they are sick. You could try to follow rules like you prefer her to stay outside your home for 48 hours after her kids have a fever to try to see if she gets one. But, if you do this, you need to discuss payment too and make sure she doesn't expect payment since she cancel due to rules established by you.

 

It's a tough decision.Last year my PANDAS son's teacher admitted she was prone to strep. Talk about stressing me out. However, I couldn't change classrooms or anything. Luckily, he did not get sick last year.

 

You can change teachers as suggested above. This would be a good idea if you feel it is too much stress for you. If it's going to add to constant worrying, it's not worth it.

 

If she stays, you can also establish a rule of hand sanitizer before classwork. At least that may help a little.

 

Good luck with your decision.

Edited September 15, 2010 by Vickie

[dcmom]

Here is my 2 cents:

 

Both of my girls had pex. I kept them both home for 2 to 3 weeks after- that was much longer than the doctor's recommendation. It is impossible to protect them from everything- you will drive yourself crazy. In the end, one did get sick a few weeks after pex- from her sister. It was not the end of the world for her- she did start into an episode- we immediately did a steroid burst, and she was well again.

 

BUT- if you are going to the trouble of keeping him home- I absolutely think you should change teachers. Even for your sake, you will not be able to relax at all if you are worrying about this- you have other stuff to worry about.

 

I have come to the realization that- to protect my kid's health- I have to be a constant, outspoken, advocate- and completely shed my normally nice, calm personality. This way- I do the best I can for them- and I don't stay up at night thinking I should do things another way. I don't worry about hurting other's feelings- this is my child's well being. It sounds like you will be stressed with this teacher around (and your son may have increased risk of exposure)- do what you need to do for your family.

[RNmom]

Thanks to everyone for your quick replies! Each post was helpful in a different way:

"Fixit" you are right about "all the time, research, crying, worrying, distress, and money..."

"Norcal mom" that was exactly what my husband said when I called him this afternoon!

"Mati's mom" I loved how you would try to keep a teacher who understood the situation.

"Vickie" YES! This IS stressful!!!

"dcmom" Thanks for understanding - even when you chose differently for your two girls. BTW, your story is the best example of why I believe it is so important to be aggressive with the younger PANDAS kids. They seem to "bounce back" quicker. I often talk with another PANDAS mom of a 14 y/o who is post PEX and also healing very slowly. Neither of our kids are functionally able to go to school right now anyway! But, they are slowly getting there...

 

The last thing in the world any PANDAS parent wants to see is a "relapse." After I talked to my husband I also talked with the school counselor. She surprised me by saying that we absolutely need to change teachers. Her words were: "You need someone who can be reliably, reasonably, well." I am going to call our teacher first and finish the conversation we started today. I half wonder if she won't be relieved by this decision too. She was very eager to learn about PANDAS - so our contact will not be wasted however. In fact, her husband said he thought she was assigned to our family "for a reason and that was to learn about this disorder for their child." I did share this forum and some medical literature with her. I will follow Vickie's advice and mention about "parent carriers."

 

Thanks again everyone for helping me out with such a stressful situation! I will let you know how we work things out. Gratefully, RNmom