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  1. Hello folks, I was reading some forums today while at work and came across this. I am 30 years old and have s pretty severe case of OCD. I have battled this disease for almost my whole life. I can remember having OCD thoughts at the age of 10. Cleaning out urninals in public bathrooms, re-walking step after step, and touching things hundreds and hundreds of times. I have done this infront of family, friends, and strangers. I am happy to say that things get BETTER! I was diagnosed at the age of 16 by a therapist who to this day I consider a gift from God. I never wanted to admit my problems but they were pretty hard to deny when I was constantly compulsing infrony of people. My mother was the first to pick up on it and she herself was seeing a therapist for the divorce my parents were going through. Her therapist recommended I go see a friend of hers. I remember telling my mother that if he brought up the word OCD I would leave the room. I reluctantly went and saw him. When I got into the room I remember how cool he was. He just sat and listened to me. At first it was a pretty casual convesation and then we started getting into my feelings. As we did this I burst into tears and it was like a sudden relief. While my OCD did not subside I was temporarily relieved. He told me that he understood me and that he could help. I was at the point where I felt there was nothing that could be done. Just going to sleep at night was the best part of my day because I no longer had to deal with it. It's important to note that at the beginning stage of OCD depression can sink in. This for me was temporary but very real. It sucked! I was lost and after my therapist told me what he thought I was willing to try anything. Just admitting there was something wrong and that I needed help was half the battle. People with OCD feel as though something is wrong and they for the most part know that there actions and or thoughts are not real but they can't help but believe them. The feeling of anxiety and depression is one of the most scary things I think a person can deal with. It's very real. I would at times hold back and not tell family and even my therapist things that were bothering me out of fear that if I did it would come true. I can relate 100% to everything your child is going through. Sometimes it would take me hours to get out of bed, or I would drive the same route multiple times to get my worries to subside. I have ran around my neighborhood block an unbelievable amount of times just hoping to run from my problems when in reality it was my number. People don't understand that. Almost all people with OCD have a number. Mine was 3. But what happens when your number doesn't work? You compulse. And it's terrible. If it didn't work the first time then I had to redo it twice more to make the number 3. In my mind the first time wasn't good so I would repeat it and then have to do it again because the first was intially supposed to be good. Confused? How do you think we feel! LOL. Here's an example: If I got out of bed and had a thought that wasn't good I would get back into bed and get out again. Then do it again to make 3. If the 3rd time wasn't good I would do it 5 times and then 7 and so on. I would wash my hands to the point that they would crack and need lotion. This is all because in my mind things were going to come true if I didn't. Again I recognized that they would not but I just couldn't stop. I worked a program with my therapist and leatned so much! First off, he told me to give my OCD a name. And talk with it. I would visualize a stop sign and when I was compulsing I would visualize the stop sign and say "STOP! This is ridiculous nothing will happen and move on" The scariest time for us is immediately after that, because we have beaten the compuslion but now we are just obssessing which is far worse. We compulse to get rid of the obssession. For me it was important to win a few small battles, once you beat some small battles it's easier to beat larger battles and you can move on. Practice makes perfect and you have to know that it gets worse before it gets better. I was doing both therapy and medication and it made A HUGE DIFFERENCE! It's improtant to note that OCD comes in waves. Sometimes it's good where you won't really notice it for a long time. And then sometimes it hits you like a frieght train. There are also triggers. Somethings trigger OCD and sometimes we don't even know what it is. I can sympathize to all of you because you feel helpless. I can tell you from personal experience that having a good support group around you is HUGE! Make yourself available for your child because them just releasing how they feel is therapeutic. There is life with OCD and you will get through this I promise. I was as bad if not worse that what you were describing to your child and I have no shame in telling complete strangers about my fight with this mental disease. I to this day will go see my therapist as a refresher. As a matter of fact I am having a hard time now, my first in almsot a decade. Now what I mean by that is that I still deal with it daily but it's at the point that I just simply beat it and it only bothered me for seconds. It gets easier once you learn to fight it. In the beginning of the fight it seems like you can't beat it and it will be there forever. IT WONT!!! You are doing the right thing!
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