So sorry to hear about your despair. Funny you mentioned your husband saying it's no big deal, while your inside is twisting and turning. The same thing, here, I cannot stop reading and trying to gain control of this. I also read Chemar's reply, which I found very helpful, in fact, I visited a blog for terminally ill children, and immediately felt like a big idiot for worrying SO MUCH. Nothing wrong with fighting to help your child, but yes, we should keep it in perspective, and remember that it could be much worse. Don't give up, keep reading, you will get better and better at managing this. I will pray for you, and all of us with very special children..... Giulia