Hi Anna1970,
I know right now it is hard to understand what life may be for you and your son. I wish there was a magic sentence I could type to make it all better and easy to cope with. We are all learning every day and we all started where you are today. It does get easier over time and you will become more at peace with everything. I found it usefull that every time I found myself losing it per se, I would just go to the bathroom and try to regroup myself. If you can find your thing that will allow you a few minutes to regroup you may be able to keep from snapping at him. I wish you the best and I know you are a strong women, you can do this with the rest of us!
No regrets and no sorrows!