Age Regression/Unable to teach

[kcdc3]

My dd is 10 1/2. I am so frustrated and just wondering if anyone else has these problems and can offer any suggestions. I can not teach her anything relating to cleanliness. This is not an OCD thing. It's not like she doesn't shower or anything like that, but she just does not care about her cleanliness at all. She does not put on deoderant unless I bring it to her and tell her to put it on. I have to lay her clothes out for her every morning and lay the deoderant out with it. Even then, she does not put it on. I have to ask her every morning if she did and then make her go back and do it. She has never been potty trained at night - she still wears the Goodnights and I bet they weigh 5 pounds in the mornings. She just leaves them laying around wherever she takes them off. I have talked till I am blue in the face about throwing them away - she will not do it to save her life. I just found one that has obviously been laying around for a while - in her hamper. She will eat food and if she drops any of it, she will just leave it there (I found wet crackers around her tub). Every morning she leaves for school with food on her - she uses her shirts as napkins, even if I lay out a napkin for her. She never looks in a mirror to see if her mouth is clean. She eats with her fingers (even non-finger foods). Anyone else have this problem and have found ways to nip it???? Does this just go with the PANDAS territory? People must think I just don't try to teach her anything!!

[pixiesdaddy]

We have a DD9 and this was a central facet of her PANDAS symptoms. IVIG resolved some of this for us, but it hasn't been complete.

 

We just tried to figure out where our minimum standards were, enforce that, and let go of the rest. She goes to school looking disheveled some days, but we try not to be picky. If she is managing with the rest of it (attitude, safety, non-violence, etc.), we'll just try to ignore our better instincts about her cleanliness sometimes.

 

Pixiesdaddy

[dut]

Hi - I have a family member like b this (can't name names) and I've come to think it may be an issue, in part, due to sensory processing disorder. You can be over sensitivce to stuff but also under sensitive to stuff. My family member just doesn't 'see' stuff. You can have a xmas tree on top of the car and this person literally won't notice it or will step over objects on the floor but not recall they were there (and big objects like gnomes in the hallway, this is obviously not a hypethetical example!)

 

I could be wrong but it feels as though it does play into that undersensitive way these kids can be with sensory stuff.....

[Joan Pandas Mom]

Hi Kcdc3. I had and still have this with my 15 yr old son, When all of this started when he was 9, he would literally shove food in his mouth. This was all sudden onset too. I remember looking at him thinking what is going on here? Why is he eating like this? Why is he shoving food in his mouth? This is OCD/PANDAS stuff. It is the same with my son now still. Everyday I have to remind him the same you described with your daughter, "Did you brush your teeth, put deodorant on?" I leave deodorant in the car so on the way to school I have him put it on. I think maybe that their minds/brains are so preoccupied with OCD that they could care a less about things like deodorant, brushing, etc. I bet many of the things your d is doing, like leaving the pull up in the laundry is in deed a compulsion. She just can't or doesn't know how to express it. My guess and my 6 years experience with this is that it is a compulsion, there are so many coming at these kids, they don't remember or care to talk about it. Remember too that many times if they feel if they voice it, it will come true. We are all going to get better. Please hold on to that.

[jewels]

Hi kcdc3,

 

I see the same thing with dd and it starts just before infection and can go on for up to 2 months. She reverts back to a toddler, and I follow her around restoring the hurricane that she leaves behind.

 

Is there anyway that your dd could have a second infection that has not been tested for and it's lingering around. Also, read up on PTSD, as this can leave you in a "don't care" attitude. I think these poor children are way overstressed with what they have to live with, it must affect them deeply.

 

And, is this a change in her that you have not seen in the past before she became ill?

[kcdc3]

Hi kcdc3,

 

I see the same thing with dd and it starts just before infection and can go on for up to 2 months. She reverts back to a toddler, and I follow her around restoring the hurricane that she leaves behind.

 

Is there anyway that your dd could have a second infection that has not been tested for and it's lingering around. Also, read up on PTSD, as this can leave you in a "don't care" attitude. I think these poor children are way overstressed with what they have to live with, it must affect them deeply.

 

And, is this a change in her that you have not seen in the past before she became ill?

 

 

She has been tested for everything and the only infection we can come up with is Mycoplasma. Her strep titers always stay low, but she has had encounters with it. As for if this is a change that we did not see before she bacame ill - it's hard to say because she's been ill with this since she was 6. It's like time stopped then and we've never went forward. I would expect a 6 year old to have some mannerisms like she has, but it looks like by age 10 1/2, she would have learned certain things like eating with a fork and basic stuff - under normal circumstances, I guess. I have not thought about PTSD.

[jewels]

The PTSD was mentioned to me by a very good Dr who said many other Drs just see the clinical health side and don't look at the child as a whole. She told me to think of how I would feel after going through this neuro attack and think how much it would affect me.

 

I sometimes forget that even though my dd is only 7 she knows that she's going through a very scary moment in her life that she cannot control. I try to put myself in her shoes and I if I went through this I would be in a shocked state too. The medical tests for PANDAS should come as a package with support for the family but more importantly stress support for the child.

 

Do you have any help or support for her?

[thereishope]

During one of my son's exacerbations, I described his eating as kind of animalistic. Just grabbing food, not caring if chunks landed on the floor, eating with mouth open, if it landed on his clothes...then he went the day with food on his clothes. He also didn't care what he looked like. He avoided baths like the plague. For him, as I look back at it, I see it as just confusion in his mind. It's like he was in zombie mode. Just going through the motions of living. For him, that did go away as PANDAS got better.

[mom2gsd]

Does your daughter have dyspraxia (motor planning) problems? Or are these skills she has lost since being dx with PANDAS? Sounds like my son, it's not that he doesn't want to, but he does not have the motor planning to always carry out, very typical of certain types of dyspraxia. Self help skills are still difficult for him.

[kcdc3]

Does your daughter have dyspraxia (motor planning) problems? Or are these skills she has lost since being dx with PANDAS? Sounds like my son, it's not that he doesn't want to, but he does not have the motor planning to always carry out, very typical of certain types of dyspraxia. Self help skills are still difficult for him.

 

I don't know - I've never heard of that......I don't know if she's lost skills due to PANDAS or not - she's had it since age 6, so it's hard to tell - it's like she's stuck at age 6 in these facets. Could be completely co-incidental.

[momto2pandas]

Ha! I'm 43 and I still don't put on deodorant! But then, my Mom scared me off of it with tales of aluminum or something like that, and I don't really tend to sweat or stink...so I can't say that it's purely laziness.

 

There is a kid in my son's class with sensory processing disoder who has this kind of issue. Today, he smelled incredibly strongly of poop. Don't know if it was a failure to clean properly or an accident, or even if he just stepped in something, but the whole room could smell it and he seemed not to notice or care at all. I know that happens with preschoolers all the time but this kid is 7 years old.

 

Of all of the quirks that I've related to PANDAS over the years, failure to wear deodorant has never crossed my mind as one!

 

My dd is 10 1/2. I am so frustrated and just wondering if anyone else has these problems and can offer any suggestions. I can not teach her anything relating to cleanliness. This is not an OCD thing. It's not like she doesn't shower or anything like that, but she just does not care about her cleanliness at all. She does not put on deoderant unless I bring it to her and tell her to put it on. I have to lay her clothes out for her every morning and lay the deoderant out with it. Even then, she does not put it on. I have to ask her every morning if she did and then make her go back and do it. She has never been potty trained at night - she still wears the Goodnights and I bet they weigh 5 pounds in the mornings. She just leaves them laying around wherever she takes them off. I have talked till I am blue in the face about throwing them away - she will not do it to save her life. I just found one that has obviously been laying around for a while - in her hamper. She will eat food and if she drops any of it, she will just leave it there (I found wet crackers around her tub). Every morning she leaves for school with food on her - she uses her shirts as napkins, even if I lay out a napkin for her. She never looks in a mirror to see if her mouth is clean. She eats with her fingers (even non-finger foods). Anyone else have this problem and have found ways to nip it???? Does this just go with the PANDAS territory? People must think I just don't try to teach her anything!!

[mom2gsd]

My son is the same, when he was dx with asd at age 3, I was told he was very mild and for a year or so he could imitate and do about anything you would ask. Of course back then I had never heard of Dyspraxia or PANDAS, but he regularly had ear and throat infections and continued to slip away, loosing skills every time, and gaining the movement disorder. The doctors told me that this was just autism, but in hind sight I always had that gut feeling, only....no one would listen. Can your daughter follow any and all commands when you ask her?

[kcdc3]

Yes, she can follow commands - right away? No. Second time? Not usually. Third time? Maybe. It usually takes several repeated attempts to have her follow through with any requests.