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[msnayray2]

Hi all,

I am new to this site and in search of some help. I have a 9 yr old son who has ADHD Bipolar,OCD and ASpergers. He is suppose to be in grade 4 but in 3rd. He is reading and most everythnig else at 1st grade level. He has fits of anger. Throwing things,hitting things. He has not hit anyone,but it has caused him to be kicked out of summer chool. We are to be tested this fall IQ and all,,The school has not placed him in any different claases or schools,he is main streamed. We go to therapy on July 23rd. I have just let him vent in his room,when he is mad. He says I am not going to bed,things like that after about 15 mins he calms down and all is fine. My boyfriend has no patience,not happen) . I do not know what to tell him. He just says over and over that my son is being defiant,does not listen,you repaet over and over do this do that. H has been in our lives 4 yrs and has indured alot with us. It is taking its toll on my relationship. I know counceiling will work. But would like some other answers as well, as this is all trial and error as to punishment. It seems like my son is always and I mean always being reprimanded for something 24/7. If anyone has any suggestions I would so appreciate it.

Thank You so much

[Sheila]

Hi. It sounds like you really have your hands full. It must be difficult for the whole family, and your son is suffering too. If you like, you can give me a call and we can talk. I have some ideas to discuss with you and would like to get more information from you.

 

Wishing you the best, Sheila

 

ACN phone number: (561) 798-0472, in Florida.

[msnayray2]

Thank You so much. I will try and give you a call on Monday afternoon.

Where in Florida are you? I am origionally form Green Cove Springs,Jacksonvillle area. I am going to try something I read online about bhavioral issues. Wish meluck. It stated that give 100 touches per day.When child acts up for exlmple tatrum say time out ttrum. Do not voice to it or leave the room. When it is over start with the time in again AKA touches. Something has got to give. Wego to atherapist in July and I so hope she is up on Aspergers. I have disscussed with the Dr that I do not think we need depakote for bipolar as the symtoms he has alll really follow under Aspergers and adhd. Wish me luck on weaing him off. I wish there was a quicker way for detoxing it out of his system.

Again thank. Look forwardto speaking with you on Monday.

Renee'

[Volant_Vixen]

You have a challenge ahead of you! I can only tell you about the bipolar aspect of things, so I hope it helps at least a little, but the rest of those problems I know little about, so I hope someone else can help you with those.

 

First of all, you are not going to find an easy way to help your 9 year old bipolar son. If this guy you're with loves you, he will listen to you and support what you are trying to do. If he is not doing that now you need to tell him what is expected. Tell him that it's going to be a long, hard journey. If he can't handle it he should go. He'll only make matters worse when you need to concentrate! You need to help your son the best you can and try to understand him and what it's like.

 

I am bipolar myself and wanted desperately to kill myself at age 8 because I was so unhappy. I know what it's like to be like your son is. I felt really really alone and different and melodramatic, but I didn't know why. I couldn't help the things that others called "temper tantrums" and that made me feel guilty and sometimes even evil because I couldn't help the acid words that flew like daggers from my lips. Things affected me more than others and I tended to linger on the past instead of focusing on the present. I couldn't understand how others could be so happy, so quiet, when all I wanted to do was scream! I never fit in. I would cry and cry but no one could understand me, reach me. My own mother never tried to talk to me about how I felt. She just tricked me into the car one day and took me to a therapist instead of going to get ice cream like she promised. Therapist after therapist, no one could help me. I hated her for a long time and it has done terrible damage to my love for her. It's hard for me to believe that anyone loves me to this day because I am so different now. Nothing has ever been normal for me.

 

This condition, if approached poorly, makes one feel that there is no hope, only pain. After a while I just started pushing people away before they could push me away. Almost failed high school. Drugs, bad friends, STD's, car theft---you name it I was into it. Luckily I escaped with herpes and nothing life-threatening. Psych after psych and no one could fix me. Puberty does not help, especially for girls because they have their monthly cycles to contend with as well as the "inner beast" that bipolar is. Uncontrollable impatience, uncontrollable sex drive... these are side affects of bipolar. I didn't believe I had a problem because I was too young to know anything but what my emotions told me, and they lied.

 

Do not fail as a mother for any male that does not understand. Educate him, and if he refuses to understand--out the door with him!!! Your son needs help and looks to YOU to be his strength. Do not fail as a mother as mine failed me. Your son may not be as lucky as I was to find the help he needs on his own. If you or anyone has more questions or just wants to talk, e-mail me. Volant_Vixen@yahoo.com

 

Symptoms of my bipolar: -Insatiable sex drive

-Abnormal crying about the past

-Impatience beyond normal impatience

-sudden volcanic emotional erruptions

-extremely tired after manic/depressive spells

-overly depressed for no reason

-overly happy for no reason

-etc.

 

*****let it be said that due to these abnormalities associated with the condition itself, there are secondary implications of a psychological nature that may result without proper understanding and treatment that may take years to correct and/or may never be corrected! Social development and emotional development plus a low self-esteem were big ones with me, though I'm sure their are many others out there. The greatest thing about learning about myself and my condition was that I never did anything wrong!-- that I am not evil!!! Can you imagine the release that was?*****

 

*****Also let it be restated that it is a VERY confusing illness that professionals are just really starting to learn more about, which means there is a better chance for people now!!! YAYS!!!*****

 

Cause: chemical imbalances, usually associated with the thyroid

 

 

Suggestions: Diet--the body can't function on garbage! Watch "Supersize Me" if you don't think diet is important!

Lighting--full spectrum bulbs! The wrong lighting can make people sick. Like me. I'm sensitive to it.

Medication--I'm on depikote (however you spell it!) and I still know I need something stronger!

Sleep when tired-- it only makes the condition worse to not listen to one's body

Love-- Lots of love and understanding are needed. People who have this affliction can't control it and that

needs to be understood so they aren't getting constantly punished for things they can't control.

They need your help to determine how they really feel about things because it's too confusing for

people like us! There's the manic person, the depressive person, and the real person. It's up to

others to read between the lines as best they can and help that person to understand that their

emotions are tricking them.

 

This website gives really good info on all types of disorders. This is the link to the bipolar page!

 

http://www.pdrhealth.com/patient_education/BHG01PS05.shtml

 

I really hope this helps you and your son!

 

Laura