OCD Employment Problems for OCD Males

[STAGE DOOR]

I am posting a question but I wonder if this is the right place to post it. I have, after many years, found people, as in this forum, that clearly suffer from the intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that I do.

 

While the suffering of OCD is immense for all of us, it does affect men and women in different ways. Notice that this site in overwhelmingly female, whereas the OCD population at large is relatively split even between males and females. There is an OCD men's site but no one ever posts in it.

 

Here is another difference. A Univ. of Pittsburgh study shows that up to 72% of men who have developed OCD since adolescence have lifetime celibacy, not just bachelorhood, but celibacy. Yet on this website many of the writers, who are female, are married.

 

Once again, I am not saying that females do not suffer as much as males, but the consequences of having OCD affect them differently.

 

Here is an example to show what I am talking about.

 

You will hear many, many OCD women talk about the intrusive fear that they will harm or molest their (or other's) children. But show me where, even on other OCD forums, where a man will discuss that particular fear. If a woman would confide that fear to someone, people are likely to say something like, "Oh, you are just imagining things."

 

However, if a man had this fear, especially a big and masculine one, he know that he must never ever even breath a word of this to anyone, even his best friend. A man can explain to others what OCD is and show them medical literature which will clearly state that OCDers rarely carry out what they fear they will do. Perhaps others will respond by saying they understand and do not believe he is a real child molester.

 

Yet you can be most certain they will never trust their children around him. And you could just imagine what it would be like for a man to talk about these things in the days when he did not know there was a disease called OCD and have authoritarian literature from the medical community, etc. to explain his condition.

 

A security man asked me a question (to use as an analogy for something we were talking about that was unrelated to sex) which was: "What do you call a man who sites in the park and watches children?" The answer was supposed to be "A child molester."

 

But if the question were: "What do you call a woman . . . ? Who would give the same answer? The answer would be: "A woman acting out her maternal instinct," or something like that.

Society looks upon men, and OCD men as well, differently than they do women. And they have different expectations for them as well.

 

How many women get harassed by people thinking they are stalking someone when what they are really witnessing is someone who has to fulfill an OCD ritual of doing or touching something a certain number of times, let’s say in a public library. He cannot explain, "Well I was not stalking that girl but you see I have to touch that book or line them up a certain amount of times of I will condemned to ###### or get cancer."

 

People are not going to think, "Whew! He is just trying to ward off cancer. Strange, but I guess he is not dangerous."

 

Now to get to what I really want to talk about is this: When an older healthy white male applies for a job, and he does not have work experience because of the debilitating effects of OCD, even is has overcome them, how can he explain his lack of work experience to prospective employers?

 

If a person was a minority or handicapped; or even was debilitated by an addiction (after all, many celebrities have this problem, e.g. Drew Barrymore) people might understand, and sympathize. If a woman did not have a work history, especially a married one, or one with children, she just has to say she wanted to devote her life to her family and not one will think she was lazy because she did not have an employment history outside the home.

 

A guy can never say: "I wanted to stay home because I thought raising kids was more important than a career."

 

But what does a male, not part of any recognized minority group, tell his prospective employer why he did not work, or work significantly, during most of his adult life? An interview is not the place to explain OCD. One big problem with OCD, unlike the other mental disorders, is that people assume the layman's or colloquial use of the term OCD, rather than the medical (DSM-VI) use of it.

 

You know many people say (which infuriates me) "I have a touch of OCD because I am a perfectionist." Or they equate OCD with a fastidious person they know, "My roommate is OCD because she wants the apartment to be so neat."

 

Now the interviewer is going to say: "Well! Now I heard everything. He did not work because he had to have his clothes pressed a certain way or have his hair combed just right! What an excuse for laziness!"

 

Now for Blacks, gays, Hispanics, substance abusers, and other groups who have employment difficulties, they have immense media exposure to their problems and huge political lobbies supporting them.

 

Even with other mental health problems like schizophrenia, depression, bipolar, and others there is more understanding. In fact mental health groups tend to focus with these disorders and even not understand what true OCD is, and even regard it as less important to deal with than other disorders.

 

Now here is my problem I am concerned about: How do I cover over my lack of employment on my applications, resumes, cover letters and interviews?

[Wombat140]

Hello StageDoor. Nice to see a familiar face, or not see them as the case may be.