CHILD SERVICES & School Psychologist

[dcmom]

I am not veering from the topic- what I am saying is that if you have your own psych, who is only thinking of your son- you will be more protected.

 

Do I think, as parents, we should be able to go to the school for help- yes I do- but to be honest, pandas is too complex for them- I think it is best to involve them as little as possible. And, with a psych and medical doctor on board, you walk in in a position of strength, you tell them what your son needs.

[T_Anna]

<<And, with a psych and medical doctor on board, you walk in in a position of strength, you tell them what your son needs.>>

 

Sorry, I misunderstood, many apologies.

 

DS15 is not attending school. I enrolled him last June when we received the Cunnigham results and I was optimistic that he would be back in school this past September.

 

Over the next few days, I will see how serious this threat is, if I feel it's real, I will politely withdraw him from school until he is able to return.

[mama2alex]

I agree with retaining a lawyer now, before anything happens. It sounds like there is more than a 50% chance they will call CPS, so better to be ready for the worst.

 

I also wonder if you should consider sending him to Rogers, NOT for the long-term benefits, but to diffuse this situation and protect him. I have heard from others that the doctors at Rogers "get" PANDAS and will provide any medication/supplements your doctor recommends. Then once he's home, you could tell the school that Rogers recommended he be home-schooled for a time and get the school out of the picture. Just an idea. Honestly, this sounds like a dangerous situation, so I would not hesitate to take any measure possible to protect him from CPS.

 

For the first year my son was ill, this was our worst fear. Things got contentious with our public school and I think we are just lucky they didn't call CPS on us. After that year, we enrolled him in a small private school that I knew would be on our side. The private school "got it" and that has been a huge blessing, taking stress off of me, and off our ds.

[qannie47]

Hey T.anna, I agree with you...it was some kind of threat. A very twisted one in my opinion. I did speak to a counselor who would be in a position to call cps and has......her comment regarding yours was, "Cps is so bogged down, even if they would call, cps will ask if the child is in eminent danger and the answer will be no. And when that happens, cps will file the report and tell them to call back when they feel eminent danger is involved". She said, this is sadly to truth about that system. They are so over run with so many cases/calls that they have to prioritize and pretty much only look into the cases that are very severe.

 

I still cant believe that they even thought to try and go down that road though......

[T_Anna]

We are at a private school.

 

The only items on the table at the moment are whether or not I officially withdraw his enrollment.

 

I don't think the principal or assistant principal have a clue about cases like BCH. Neither does the school psychologist, but he's an idiot.

 

The reason it is so much easier for BCH is because they are covered by their twisted patients rights and the fact that they already have custody of the child (by being in the hospital).

 

Putting DS in an inpatient facility to placate a private school?? I'll take my chances, thank you.

 

T.Anna

Edited December 13, 2013 by t_anna

[qannie47]

Forgive me if I don't have your whole story or understand private school legal rights. So private schools do not have to follow laws handed down by the Supreme court for example? They just get to make up their own rules? I guess that would not surprise me. Being practical, if your ds is not able to attend school withdrawing his enrollment seems to make sense of many levels, some reasons for which you already stated. Have you made any decisions yet? So sorry that your are having added struggle right now.

[4Nikki]

I sure hope that not right. I was under the impression that both public and private schools had to follow the same rules at least that is what we were told regarding admitting DD in a private school and they had no resources for special ed. due to mandated state and federal requirements.

We had the exact opposite experience regarding getting a physiologist involved with DD. It took almost a year for us to get the home visits started and we think the visits were very helpful. It took a lot of work on our part to make sure the visiting physiologist understood DD condition.

Edited December 16, 2013 by 4nikki

[LNN]

Here's the latest update on the BCH case http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/12/15/justina/vnwzbbNdiodSD7WDTh6xZI/story.html?s_campaign=email_BG_TodaysHeadline

 

One thing that is very clear is that we as parents need to understand how to better play the game. The red flag throughout this BCH story is how the parents' "in your face" behaviors worked against them. I am NOT blaming the parents here. I'm saying - learn from their mistakes and take a deferential tone for political reasons. Recognize that the people now involved may have a legal obligation to report the situation regardless of whether your son remains enrolled. But the words they use if/when reporting can be influenced by your behaviors toward them. If you "suck up" and thank them for their concern, seem to welcome the "help" they want to give, their words will likely be less accusing. You have stepped on a bee's hive. Be calm and careful in your steps to de-escalate the situation. Use the words they need to hear.

 

I agree with DCMom - get a private psychologist on board to represent your son's interests. There's one who treats lyme patients in Brewster NY http://www.lymefamilies.com/ - she may be better suited than many to understand how a medical illness can manifest as psychiatric symptoms.

 

I would start lining up professionals to represent your perspective. The school has fired a warning shot - as much as that feels like a threat, it may be a favor. It's a warning of storm clouds and I'd proceed under the assumption CPS will become involved. Get your ducks in a row for that call or visit.

[PowPow]

Wrong thread, sorry

Edited December 15, 2013 by powpow

[T_Anna]

<<If you "suck up" and thank them for their concern, seem to welcome the "help" they want to give, their words will likely be less accusing. You have stepped on a bee's hive>>

 

This made me smile. I am the queen of sucking up. I serve as the PTA president and had deliver holiday gifts, fundraise etc. We help organize the dinners and attend. I guess that is the only reason l kept DS enrolled and met with them as often as I did. This same psychologist offered to come once a week and chat with DS, we were so open, we even sent his wife a jewelry armoire for the holiday because we weren't paying him.

 

Yes, I am getting things lined up.

 

But I am not confrontational and neither is DH. I KNOW it's not my fault because they purposely excluded the other psychologist that I've worked with. It's a small religious school, only 500 students in the HS. It is sad that the two professionals, female and make psychologists cannot work together.

 

People can be vicious and evil. They can have their own warped agenda.

 

Did BCH take away this child because the parents are aggressive and foreigners? I don't think so. There were many others, they couldn't all have had poor people skills.

 

T.Anna

[4Nikki]

I just read part of the story and I'm not sure but there appears to be a conflict between doctors opinions and the story seems to imply BCH is abusing the system because they think they are right about a diagnosis and feel the need to protect the child. I'm sure there is much more to this story still to unfold including the parents taking the hospital to court for using the system to prevent them from performing their right as parents and caring for their child in seeking a second opinion. Everyone in the story and side stories are after the best interest of the child. Using loop holes in the system sounds pretty risky on the hospital part and should eventually bite back pretty hard, This is because not only are they potentially damaging the child, they are damaging the parents. It's one thing to abuse a child, it's another thing to use the system to force your opinion. I would say keeping malicious records is prudent and necessary, if you feel people in the system, think they need to be passionate about your child's care. In our DD's case, if doctor's had this much passion about finding and treating DD's illness I would welcome it. But we haven't found any that know what they are doing. It's been all guessing so far. DW and I know what works and what doesn't work. We keep records of what medications have been given what works and what doesn't work.

[qannie47]

T.anna, what exactly are they asking you to do? I am confused. It sounds like they want you to go down the Psychology road, but it looks like you already have...with the cbt and the fact that they have blown off your psychologist...Were they specific about what they think you have not done or what they think you should do?