vacation...not going well

[FallingApart]

Vacations are always rough for us. So rough, that I only go about half the time. Right now my husband took our children (1 of them is a PANDAS/Lyme child) to his hometown for the 4th of July. I elected to stay home and have surgery. DH says things aren't going well. This isn't anything unusual, but I thought I packed him with all his defenses. I sent all the appropriate homeopathy with him as well as magnesium and of course antibiotics.

 

Can anyone offer some tips and tricks that help on vacation to get your child to calm down a bit and get back to more of themselves? We were never able to accomplish it on our last vacation.DH sounds a bit beaten down and I feel bad for him.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

FA

[pr40]

it is hard to give you an advice when it is not clear what you tried already, what condition your kid is in at the moment, and so on. A signature line with a brief history would be helpful as would other details.

also, can you be specific about the problem? uncooperative? too many tantrums?

[FallingApart]

well, DH isn't telling me everything because he doesn't want to stress me out. We have given her strep and arnica as well as chamomile homeopathy pellets. At home this usually always works fine. But we've seen it fail on vacation before.

 

On vacation she gets very rigid, mad, hyper, sensory, and just very difficult to be around and make happy. She is 7.

[hugs2day]

I dabbled in homeopathy but found I prefered the big guns so I am not too much help with homeopathy. Although I did find that phosphorous 30cc helped my oldest tremendously when in a flare.

 

Sorry your DH is feeling deflated I know the feeling as timing is always bad for us on vacation as well. This might sound kooky but Alka Seltzer Gold calms down our youngest son ( the most difficult) when we are on the road we give with ice chips and it changes his mood. We know it changes the pH in the body and the ice chips keep him occupied probably helping with digestion too. Some forums say it is a detox, I have also heard it helps with lyme symptoms and for us we think it helps with die off and yeast. Not sure which is which but I can give my testimony it helps.

 

The other thing is Ibuprofen.

 

I hope things get better. This illness is so hard on the whole family. Take care.

[MomWithOCDSon]

Beyond the homeopathy and supplements you typically use and maybe some of those (like ibuprofen) suggested here, I might also suggest some behavioral strategies. Since they're presumably visiting some relatives, is it possible to maintain some semblance of her typical schedule, at least in so much as bedtime and wake-up time are involved? If things need to change up, and she needs to implement greater flexibility than she's used to or typically asked to display, maybe he can talk things over with her (on an age-appropriate level) and get her "buy-in" to some extent; offer her a couple of options, maybe, and let her choose? Offer her a "treat" or a particular choice as a reward for going along with something he and/or his family want to do?

 

Might also try valerian root capsules, if the chamomile isn't being adequately effective; we found it helped our DS quite a bit in anxious moments.

 

So sorry! Tell DH to hang in there!

[tpotter]

I have to wonder if your child is being exposed to something by someone? When you go on vacation, is there anyone that he typically goes along who is not typically around him? Or, alternatively, are they trying to do too much, so the stress level goes up?

[JoyBop]

I wonder if its the lack of routine or the fact that you aren't there? I find my OCD kids do better with a daily outline if what is going to happen on each day and give them opportunities to make choices. That way they feel they have more control and less stressed. I also make sure they have enough space/ down time to decompress. It can be stressful if there are many people around and no escape. It's hard to give advice since I don't know much about the child or situation but supplements/meds are only one component. Reassurance and child's own individual needs are key. Good luck to the family this week.

[SurfMom]

Advice.....

 

Let her burn some steam. Wherever you go, look for places with playground...churches and schools. Every town has one. If you are driving more stops will be needed. Days out? More breaks will be needed. Short days.

 

Stick to your routine, especially bedtimes like its the army. Sleep is the key. Be firm with family members that this has to be a non-negotiable.

 

Watch the sweets. I don't think it hypes kids up as much as it causes sugar crash making them irritable.

 

Tell your husband not to worry about her behavior around family members. I am a former educator and tend to have high expectations for my kids' behavior in public and put on their happy sides around family members but right now, I am asking everyone to grin and bear it.

 

Watch overstimulation. What you think will be fun for your child can actually be very demanding, almost like work. Amusement parks, flashy signs, noisy places can make already haywire brains go into overload. Every new situation is loaded with new sensory information which will result in total exhaustion...no sleep, temper tantrums, meltdowns. By comparison, imagine stepping off a plane in Russia at 3AM after a sleepless flight having taken Benadryl, having lost your passport, everyone is shouting at you in Russian, you can't find your luggage, florescent lights are searing your eyes, there is Dutch rock music in coming over the PA, some stranger insists that you eat some grey food concoction that you are pretty sure it goat, and your happy, smiling travel guide is cheerfully leading you towards a tour of Red Square. Same thing.

 

Remind your husband to take care of himself let him run, cycle do what he needs to do to vent and get someone to watch the kids so he can take a nap every day. Encourage him to ask for a little help when it comes to a short break.

 

Thank your husband and thank him again...make him so appreciated that he will be glad for you to cover for you again. It is such a good thing he is letting you do and I know you empathize.

 

Lastly, do not feel guilty and take care of yourself. I wish you a speedy recovery, knowing that any procedure is the last thing you need right now!

 

Good luck and good beer to your husband!

Edited July 4, 2013 by SurfMom