problems with OCD

[cleo]

I have been suffering of OCD since i was a kid , has far back has i can remeber and my father suffered of ocd has well.

At first i had minor tics but with the years they have gotten much worst to the point that they are controlling my life.

I havent gotten any help for them because i dont believe there is anything out there or anyone that can really give me a concrete solution to this problem and to this day i believe that the only person that can solve this issue is my self.

I am not gona go into details about all the different tics i have also because they have changed during the years that i have suffered of ocd , its always something different.

I have seen many articles on OCD and done lot of reading on it and it look like most doctors believe that there is an imbalance in our brain that is causing this problem.I am not an expert(doctor) but i am the one that lives with this every day and i have noticed in all this years that i had them that this tics are not constant and could be controlled with some very strong will power. Unfurtunatly i dont have much of that=)

I always think to my self , for example, can gambling be considered a form of ocd? can eating to much food be considered a form of ocd? doing lot of drugs can it be considered a form of ocd? can anorexia be considered a form of ocd? etc..... If i start playng with the light switch there is ovviously a big problem here and many therapists will consider this OCD, but if i smoke 30 cigarettes a day one after the other or i compulsively eat a lot of food , if i am a sex addict and have sex more then 3 times a day every day then how come this things dont fall under obsessive compulsive disorder?

Should i just go to a therapist and have him put me on some drug that might help or instead it might make things worst in the long run? I am extremely confused and uncertain on what to do when it comes to obsessive compulsive disorder.

I just bought a new car few days ago and i was terrified to drive the car back home because i was scared i would get in an accident and crush my bran new car , i was not able to sleep the day before because of this.

Of course a therapist would tell me that this is a form of OCD , when i take money from the bank and put them in my wallet they have to be placed in perfect order and there are many more tics that i have and some of them are to emberassing to even say =)

Anyways i had so many different tics in the years but some of them have gone away and new ones always come in to replace the older ones lol.

I am tryng really hard in this time of my life to be able to beet this things with simply using control of my mind and i must say that there are days in wich i am able to do this, can this be a sign of hope?

For example when i read something or browsing the net i always end up counting letters in each word till i get an even number =/ and this sometimes gets so bad that i have to stop reading or ill get extremely anxious. In the past few weeks i have been able to control this things , for example yesterday i was browsing this site and i started doing this and i told my self to simply STOP IT and do the opposite try to become obsessed into not counting the words and i was able to do it for the rest of the evening. Now if OCD was really caused by an imbalance in the brain how come i was able to control it , even if for a short period of time ?

If i break a leg or if i have a cancer or if i was suffering of down syndrome im sure i would not be able to just snap out of it for even a few hours , those things are real problems that cannot go away no matter what i tell my self.

I keep tryng to battle this stuff everyday and hopefully one day i will be able to completly come out of it by just using the one thing that is causing them , the mind.

Like i sayd before im not a therapist or an expert and the only person i know with OCD is my self so i cant really make an honest conclusion to this problem , but i strongly believe that people that have OCD must have somethings in common that trigger this condition. I have always been since i was a kid , very insecure and always had a weak character and i think this two factor have something to do with my OCD.

Sorry if you cannot undertand some things but english is a second language for me and i cant type in it to well=)