Severe and disruptive Christmas obsession

[1tiredmama]

My ds18 began treatment for PANDAS in the spring. With fall upon us, and knowing what I know now about PANDAS and OCD, I have a question.

 

Every year, ds (and the rest of us) suffers from a horrible Christmas obsession. Each year, it starts a little earlier. Last 2 years, it started just before Thanksgiving. He becomes absolutely consumed by the thought of presents (for him, of course!) One year, he made at least 25 revised copies of his Christmas list complete with crayon drawings. He still makes some lists and still reads and rereads them to me. His obsession causes severe insomnia that no supplement or med can fix--he has been wide awake for up to 40 hours! Two years ago, he attempted suicide because of the horrible strife his obsession was causing in our home. When he was little, the Christmas obsession caused mania, which during the year he was 7, turned into psychosis.

 

I could go on and on about his behaviors, but I know you get it and understand how far it can go. He finds these thoughts pleasing at first, but eventually they are so intrusive that he is literally being tortured by them. So my question is this: Can this be considered OCD if it only occurs for 6 weeks out of the year?

 

As an aside, birthdays are pretty torturous, too, but at least there aren't reminders everywhere like during the holiday season.

[mar]

I understand. Ds is 10. But this is very interesting. For the last several years he gets obsessed with Christmas.. He makes his list and rechecks it and takes a long time to figure out what he wants. He would plan it out several months in advance. Yes I think this is OCD with my experience. I have been hoping he will realize their is no Santa and I am in the clair. But yes he would dwell and rethink what he wants.

[1tiredmama]

Don't hold your breath on the realization that there is no Santa. It only made things worse here. It didn't slow the obsession or the list-making. Instead, he begs and begs for the gifts early. He is such a tortured soul come November.

 

Sorry that your child is experiencing this, too...

[MomWithOCDSon]

Given the ferocity of the obsession, it sounds to me as though it could be something of a mix/meld of OCD and perseverative thinking that's more in line with some tendencies toward cognitive inflexibility. We experienced perseverative thinking and inflexibility quite a bit during the depths of DS's PANDAS, so much so, in fact, that two doctors gave him a PDD-NOS diagnosis because these are features common of many ASD-type conditions.

 

Have you experienced a more "normal" reaction on DS's part to the Christmas season and all the commercialization that goes along with it when he's physically healthier?

 

I wonder if you "normalized" the Christmas season a bit, if that would help tame the truly seasonal obsession, despite the fact that the media and Retail America pushes it so hard. Maybe leave a couple of Christmas decorations up in DS's room year 'round, or create a new family tradition like "Christmas in July" so that he's not building up steam for nearly 12 months each year, awaiting that real holiday period.

 

Sorry he goes through this, and you along with him!

[mar]

Wow! Last year ds prepared his list advance and will sit and look through books and actually will think about prices bc Santa usually spends so much. You guys just made me realize how crazy this is. We watched elf when he was 8! And he make paper chains for his room and decorated the whole ceiling on his own. I'm talking hours of work!!! there was one year can't recall if the past one or prior where he found a box of their presents and I had to reward each one!! A couple of days later I find a letter in the garbage saying I don't think you real and what not and I showed him and asked if he had any questions and said he was silly bc he started to not believe but there is no way I would buy him all that so he believes! At the end of christmas last year he started making a list for this year! I said seriously! And he stopped! I though about him finding out and am fearful how it will affect him. He has been dealing with things for several years and sadly I don't recall how he was prior. I think my mind is fried with to much info.

Mar

[1tiredmama]

Oh, my gosh, Mar, starting a Christmas list right after Christmas takes the cake! Wow! You know, my ds did not outgrow the belief in Santa. Dh and I decided to tell him right before middle school because we did not want him to be teased at school. Do you know that he didn't believe me at first! He actually did a fact check by asking his dad! He was 12 years old!

 

Nancy, you are absolutely right about the perservating. That's ds to a T. So, maybe it's not an OCD? And, yes, last Christmas, while he was still over the top, ds handled the holiday so much better. He was still undx'd, but on antibiotics for severe acne. Can't wait to see how he does this year with PEX behind him.

 

Thank you, ladies, for responding!

[mar]

Yes this is my fear also! So this year, a couple of weeks ago at 10 1/2 he tells dd lets go and do christmas list and she says no bc it's Halloween. So he has not said anything.So I feel like I will give him this year but by next year he will be in junior high and I will have to tell him if he still believes b/c I dont want him to be picked on. I believe from how he is that he will be shocked and not believe me! I have been waiting for this and it's not happening for him so I know it will be rough. When he finds out it will be crazy for him. I know he will dwell on it and over think it and tons of questions were as any other kid would be fine and go about their day. So I will give him 1 more Christmas but have to mention something by next year if he still believes!

Mar

[lfran]

I've been thinking of this thread as we get closer to Christmas. What would happen if, on January 1, you guys told your kids that "it's a new year,and this next Christmas is going to be totally different". No presents at all -- maybe a family trip instead, or family activities, or giving to charity, or going out caroling, or giving him only a gift as his present that he can spend as he wishes, or just completely cold turkey? Go back to the original "Christmas spirit" idea? Thinking of making the announcement on the first day of 2013 so that expectations don't build?

 

Just thinking out loud, as this thread has been in my mind. I will say that one of my sons was totally relieved to learn that the tooth fairy, Santa, etc were just fables. He couldn't figure out how they got into the house, and he was relieved to learn that they didn't! He liked learning that they were just symbols of the love that parents have for their kids.

[mar]

That sounds like a great idea for ds . But I feel like why can't dd who is only seven have that experience for a couple more years. I truely want to break it for my son after this year but I know he will ruin it for dd bc he can't keep a secret all all. He's a talker. Of course he got everything he asked for and this just sucks. I wish someone would just say something at school. He was defiantly calmer this year and family tells me he might know but just playing along. NOT I say bc I just know. I am afraid to say something bc I think it would be a huge shock to him and don't want tk see him recalling all the years of lies!!

Mar

[airial95]

I find this topic interesting, because my 5yo PANDAS son has some similar obsessions. It started with his onset at 2 years old with "light shows" (Christmas lights). From the second we would see the first display, it's the only thing we could do with our evenings from the time it gets dark until bedtime - each and every night or there are massive meltdowns. We keep up the tours until it's clear that everyone has taken their lights down. As he has gotten older, it hasn't gotten better. He was obsessive over Thanksgiving this year because it was the day after Thanksgiving and Daddy wasn't home to put the Christmas decorations up yet. He also noticed stores putting up holiday displays at Halloween and asked if we could already put our Christmas stuff up as soon as we took the Halloween stuff down.

 

In our family, it's (Spanish) tradition to not take decorations down until after Three Kings Day. We've used this as the unbreakable "rule" for Christmas decor. The Saturday after Three Kings Day - everything comes down. The first year it was a nightmare, tears for days. But now that it's a hard "rule" - he does better.

 

He even knows how to get to all of his favorite displays year after year. It's still amazing to me that he remembers these things year to year.

 

My husband and I often questioned if it could be ture OCD if it was "seasonal", I guess we're not the only ones.

 

I like the idea of "canceling Christmas" - we could take it back to the true Spanish tradition of gifts for Three Kings Day, but with my kids being only 5 and 6, it's hard to ruin the magic for them so soon...