How to deal with a boyfriend with OCD

[DaltonsGirl]

I have a boyfriend who has just been diagosted with PANDAS, and the worst part about it is his OCD and anxiety. He has terriable serperation anxiety and when i'm away he has some weird kind of tics. I just want to know how to help and communicate with him about issues with him getting flustered and being so nit picky. Does anyone know anyways I can help to understand him or help him so he can control it instead of it controlling him?

[rowingmom]

Good for you for wanting to help your boyfriend, he is lucky indeed!

 

My DD11 (11 year old dear daughter) has PANS - like PANDAS, only her symptoms are caused by an autoimmune reaction to a different bacteria (not strep in her case, but lyme), although strep will exacerbate her symptoms as well.

 

DD11 understands that motor and vocal tics/OCD/easy frustration(sometimes rages)/inability to concentrate/anxiety are some of the symptoms that she gets from her autoimmune reaction to infection. Although she understands this, if she is in exacerbation there is nothing she can do to stop herself from being angry and irritable, unable to do math, from ticcing, or from her decline in writing skills.

 

Her autoimmune reaction to infection causes a physical inflammation of her brain which effects her ability to think and react as she normally would. If I mention that symptoms are showing up and she will say "I know, I know", but can do nothing to help herself. The harder she tries, the more frustrated she seems to get. Only reducing brain inflammation seems to help her.

 

When she is out of a flare her symptoms resolve and it is so nice to see the real child that is sometimes hidden by her reactions to infection.

 

Cognative behaviour therapy has helped her to understand how to react in a socially acceptable manner, but she finds this difficult when she has a viral/bacterial infection or a herxheimer (die-off) reaction to her antibiotics.

 

I guess what I am saying is that there is probably little you can do in the way of helping your boyfriend to control himself during a symptom flare. His doctors will be addressing his PANDAS reaction with antibiotics and anti-inflammatories which should help his brain swelling and allow him to react in a more normal fashion.

 

I think the best thing you can do, and you are a very strong young lady to want do this, is to find out everything you can about PANDAS - read these forums to get an idea of the physical/psychological symptoms and reactions to treatment, read Saving Sammy (the book, the blog, the facebook page, the YouTube TV interviews) and other blog sites on PANDAS. Your boyfriend will need a lot of understanding, but with treatment you should see his true personality come shining through.