Yikes! Son went on a rant last night about Dr. Drew, PANDAS, etc.

[P_Mom]

So, last night I allowed my boys to stay up and watch Dr. Drew. We had talked about what was going on in Le Roy a bit prior and I thought they could see some coverage first hand. Younger son was pretty much disinterested...he did glance at the t.v. from time to time, but, pretty much kept silent. Just as the show was about to end, my older, very laid back son just let loose. This is soooooo unlike him. (it wasn't a PANDAS rage....just pent up anger I didn't know he had) So, it goes like this (out of the blue)...... "Dr. Drew is stupid. I hate that guy. Look at the guy with the bowtie. He is stupid, too. I would never wear a stupid bowtie. This whole show is stupid like everyone on there. I don't even have that stupid disease. The whole thing is stupid. I hate that stupid doc we have to see and those stupid tests we do. Dah...hold out your arms."........me, after I picked my jaw up off the floor. "I know you don't fully understand but this is anything but stupid. It is important and these teens need help. It could mean a lot in the grand scheme of things. By the way, we are going to see that doc next month. It is important and you need to trust me. Don't you remember when you had all the tics?" ......."yeah, when I was like 2." (he was almost 8 and he had bouts of tics on and off for 3 plus years) "Well, you are doing so well because I fought so hard for you to get the right treatment. I don't expect you to fully understand but there was a lot involved in getting you treated quickly and properly." ......"Oh, what. Here, take this pill and you are all better." At that point I fell silent. Ended the conversation (if you can call it that). Oh if he could only grasp what it took.(and no I won't beat him over the head about all that it took) UGH! This is the first I heard such a rant from him about PANDAS. And DcMom, I revisit taking him off the proph. abx because he is obviously angry about the whole thing. But, I just can't do it. Today he was his usual happy self. Took the pill no problem. But, I wonder how this all is impacting him....any long term consequences...I mean emotionally. I have tried soooo hard to keep them as normal as possible. We don't obsess on PANDAS....(well, I do but I keep it hidden from them). I just don't know but I did shed a few tears about it in bed last night.

Edited February 7, 2012 by P.Mom

[dcmom]

Pmom-

 

I am so sorry. I do think it is really hard for our kids, and in a way, some of that doesn't change because they are better.

 

Every child struggles to feel "normal". I think this is the hardest part of this, or any, disorder.

 

Our situation is different, because things are fresher for us, and we still have some ups and downs. My kids have pandas ocd (not tics), so we have done our share of therapy. In our house, everything is out in the open. Well, almost everything. We work at "normalizing" pandas and ocd by framing it in the light of any illness/ disorder like asthma, diabetes and severe allergies. My older daughter had a BF in DC that had diabetes AND severe allergies. She couldn't eat almost everything (gluten allergy, chocolate, PB) and needed daily insulin shots- this really helped her, knowing someone else with an illness. We agree that it sucks, and there should be a SHORT time to feel sorry for yourself, but then it is time to accept it and move on. We talk A LOT about struggles of others (divorced parents, poverty, learning disabilities, illness, etc). We stayed at the ronald mcdonald house this summer, and it gave us all (esp me) PERSPECTIVE. We try to do community service work that brings the kids face to face with others that have struggles. I share stories of the kids on the forum.

 

My kids still feel a lot of sadness and some anger that they have pandas. That is natural. My oldest has accepted pandas a little more, and is focused on making a positive. Right now she wants to be a neurologist, and feels she will really understand her patients because she has suffered. My younger is not there yet, and cried for 20 minutes the other day about going to the doctor (why can't I be normal? why me? etc).

 

I would imagine that boys "talk" less. They probably hold more in. It is good that he ranted- and his feelings are understandable. I am sure it brought up a lot for you

[EAMom]

 

My oldest has accepted pandas a little more, and is focused on making a positive. Right now she wants to be a neurologist, and feels she will really understand her patients because she has suffered.

 

Right on! She can be the next Dr. T. or Dr. Latimer!

[EAMom]

"Dr. Drew is stupid. I hate that guy. Look at the guy with the bowtie. He is stupid, too. I would never wear a stupid bowtie. This whole show is stupid like everyone on there.

 

Dr. Drew is stupid. Dr. Bowtie is stupid too.

[oivay]

My daugther is 12 and has always wanted to be a doctor, although she wants to be an orthopedist.

 

When the whole Pandas thing was going on, I said "Maybe you could become a neurologist instead and find a cure for strep."

 

He response was "Mom....absolutely the last thing I would ever do in my life is be around strep 24 hours a day. I'm going to do a nice easy thing like knee replacements."

[3boysmom]

"Dr. Drew is stupid. I hate that guy. Look at the guy with the bowtie. He is stupid, too. I would never wear a stupid bowtie. This whole show is stupid like everyone on there.

 

Dr. Drew is stupid. Dr. Bowtie is stupid too.

[dcmom]

I was just coming back to add: Dr Drew IS stupid!

 

But I have seen others have already commented

 

PMom- Has your son read Saving Sammy? I have two copies put away for my girls (11 yr old has read about half of it). I think it will be required reading for them before they go off to college- if they have not read it already. I do think it is important for them to be very knowledgeable about pandas, its presentation and its treatment, by the time they are young adults.

[concerned lady]

I agree with them (and all of you) about Dr. Drew and Dr. Bowtie! Amazingly accurate observations by young people! It's good that they felt able to be open and that they expressed their feelings like that, even though they don't understand what parents went through!

 

Do you think they might be interested in giving a verbal report about PANDAS, at school? If yes, this could make them "an important PANDAS authority" in the eyes of both their teachers and the other kids! And, maybe other kids might recognize symptoms they hadn't recognized before?

 

I also was touched by the daughter who wants to become the easier type of doc--an othopedic doc. She might change her mind eventually, later on.

 

Sincerely,

Carol

http://cantbreathesuspectvcd.com

[P_Mom]

Thanks for the replys everyone. I knew you would all pick up on the few, yet important, truths his rant contained!

 

Anyway...I am over it. Ya know.....okay so he is Pi88ed about some things......he'll get over it. It is all really coming out of ignorance on his part. He does not have the insight into the disorder that the more severe children have. He never got bad. 2 days after onset of multiple motor tics, he got antibiotics and tics went from 10 to 2 in 48 hours. He never had OCD...none of the mind stuff...he just doesn't get it. So, since he has always felt normal...then he probably is ticked he has to go to the docs and wonders what the big deal is. I guess I can't blame him. His younger brother is so different about it....he gets it...he says..."oh I definitely had that." But, he was bad...had the OCD, etc. I guess it is all relative. I do agree that it is very important for them both to be well informed. We have talked about it numerous times...they know. We spend our 4 hour trips to our PANDAS doc talking about it.

 

My older son would not relate at all to Saving Sammy.....my younger would. I have it and will encourage them to read it....someday. A school speech about PANDAS? Him? Never! So while you guys have kids that aspire to be neurologists to help other kids.....while others make blogs and put on benefits....mine will just be pi88ed off! But I'll take it and not complain.....I am just glad he is well.

 

So, he will get over it...he will deal with it...he doesn't know how fortunate he is.