9/11 Anniversary

[airial95]

We DVR'd the NickNews special last week covering the events of 9/11 that is geared towards kids 6-11. Our daughter (not dx PANDAS, but may be mild) is 5 1/2, and PANDAS son is 4, and both are very advanced for their age, and always asking questions. We haven't watched it yet (my husband and I want to watch it first alone to see if we should let either of them watch it), but with the anniversary this weekend, coverage seems to be everywhere, and we want to be ready to answer questions if they pop up. Our church is also doing a special service on Sunday, which I know will have both of my kids asking questions (we're still debating not bringing them.)

 

Our kids are still a bit young, but it got me to thinking, how are other PANDAS parents handling it? Many of our PANDAS kids weren't born yet, and how do you introduce a topic like this to a group of children who are prone to fixate on fears - both rational and irrational? I'm sure many of the schools will be talking about it this week as well.

Edited September 7, 2011 by airial95

[PhillyPA]

I have no intention of bringing it up with my 7 and 9 year old. They barely watch tv so they will not even know about the nickjr show. I am not going to any scheduled events in the community. They are to young. My seven year old would worry. I remember as a child my biggest fear at night was that a plane would crash into my house.

[P_Mom]

We have been taking both boys to a huge, beautiful 9/11 tribute every year since they were 3 and 6.....we are very involved in the ceremony (helping, etc)...and my husband sings at it. It has not affected either of them negatively....also, my 11 year old has seen the documentaries. (I think my 8 year old has seen bits of it last year, too) They were actually both moved by it.....no fears developed...no obsessions,etc. We believe strongly in raising our boys to grow to love and respect our country...realize what a great country it is..... the harsh realities that exist in it... what it takes and how important it is to defend it...and to remember all the brave men and women who lost their lives that day in doing so.

 

This is just us.........our boys do fine with it...it is an important day of rememberance in this house. We were just thinking the other day that it is time to take the boys to Shanksville.

 

 

Philly..

 

 

 

Airial...there really is no way to tell how it would go over with your kids. I guess if they have never heard about it, and you are worried about it, perhaps do what nickelmama is doing and wait until they ask. Around here, for us, I think everybody we know has been going to the memorial every year and taking their kids....no matter what age. We never gave it a sceond thought....it is just what we do.

Edited September 7, 2011 by P.Mom

[nicklemama]

We won't be discussing it either. I'm not sure if the school will or not. DS does not watch the news or much tv, so I'm not sure he'll even be aware of it. He will ask if he becomes aware if it.

 

Wanted to add....DS is only 7. We will talk to him about it if he asks. Believe me, he will ask if he hears about it. I just don't know that I want to arm him w/ something to worry about. Frankly, I would have this same mindset even if he didn't have PANDAS. We try not to expose him to things like this at this age.

Edited September 8, 2011 by nicklemama

[dcmom]

OCD is weird.

 

My kids have fixated on total non- issues, and have been fine with what I thought were big issues.

OCD is not rational.

 

My kids are a bit older, 8 and 11. I have come to the opinion, over time, that honesty is the best policy. If they end up ocd'ing over something- it will be a tool for learning. I have learned I cannot protect them, and by trying to protect them, sometimes it makes things worse.

 

That being said- I think it is important to approach stuff like this casually, naturally and over time. We have discussed 9-11 certainly, although mostly not on 9-11. Much like the "birds and bees", I think the best policy is not to have a major "talk", but to have a constant "conversation" about big, tough subjects.

 

So- while I don't know if an hour long special is appropriate (you will know when the time comes), I imagine it would be helpful to casually discuss 9-11 a few times prior to the service, and then answer all of their questions fully and honestly. If you think they are interested, yet not obsessing, and you liked the special, then maybe offer it.

 

Kids (and especially our amazingly smart and sensitive kids who happen to have ocd) are always surprising...

[PhillyPA]

As a side note- my husband's brother was on the 101st floor of the second tower. He was only a handful of people who survived from his firm. He made it to the 40 th floor before the plane hit the second tower. It is a long story. We didn't hear from him for 24 hours. The day was so very traumatic. There are many many elements of post traumatic stress that last to this day. For me - I can not re- live it with ceremonies and tributes. I am unable to handle it. I would break down. I use to travel by plane often. I have been unable to fly since that day. On sept 11 this year I will avoid the tv and skim past any article about 9/11. All day I will expect to feel like I am going to vomit.

[P_Mom]

UGH! SO sorry Pam!

[airial95]

Philly - so sorry to hear about what your brother went through!!

 

We're not planning on "bringing it up" with our kids, but I know with more and more discussion about it, and church on Sunday (which my children HATE to miss church) we want to be prepared with questions. We DVR'd the special (it's a half hour) for two reasons, one, we thought it would give us useful ideas on how to explain things to a child (that's what it's for after all) and also for the possibility of my daughter watching it. But we totally only plan on that if they start asking questions.

 

I just thought it was an interesting discussion considering how our kids' brains operate. And dcmom- you're totally right - who knows WHAT they're going to fixate on, we really can't protect them all the time.